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Bible Dictionaries
Betrothal
Hastings' Dictionary of the New Testament
or BETROTHAL.—Betrothal among the Jews in the time of Jesus, like so many other social institutions, was in process of transition. Jewish marriage customs were in origin the same as those of other Semitic peoples, but Jewish civilization was far removed from its primitive stages. Unfortunately there is little positive information concerning the ceremony of betrothal in NT times proper. The Talmudic seder on marriage includes two tractates, Kethuboth and Kiddushin, dealing largely with the preliminaries of marriage, the latter especially with betrothal, but it is considerably later than the NT period. Accordingly, one cannot be sure that the elaborate laws therein set forth obtained in the time of Jesus. Yet it is possible by the study of betrothal customs in Hebrew and in Talmudic times to form a highly probable hypothesis as to such customs in the time of Jesus.
1. The OT betrothal ceremony perpetuated in a conventional fashion the recollection of the time when a woman was purchased from her family. This appears in the Heb. word אֵדַשׂ (Deuteronomy 20:7, Hosea 2:20). Yet it would be a mistake to regard the use of this word as anything more than a conventional survival. In the days of the codes and the prophets the time was long past when a man’s wife was strictly his property. At the same time it is clear that when a woman was designated (ועד Exodus 21:8-9) by the head of her family as the future wife of another man, there was paid over by the prospective bridegroom a certain sum of money (or service, as in the case of Jacob), and a contract which was inviolable was then entered into (Genesis 34:12, Exodus 22:17). Until the time of the marriage proper the bride-to-be remained in her own family. It was not permissible to betroth her to any other man except by action amounting to divorce, and any violation of the rights established by the betrothal was as serious as if the two persons had been actually married (Deuteronomy 22:23-24). In the OT period it is not possible to say with precision just how soon the betrothal was followed by the wedding. In later times, in the case of a virgin it was after the lapse of a year, and at least thirty days in the case of a widow; but it is impossible to establish more than a possibility of these periods in OT times. So, too, it is impossible to describe with any great precision the betrothal ceremony, but it certainly included the payment of some sum (ôhar; in addition to above references, see 1 Samuel 18:25), and the making of a betrothal contract (either voce, Ezekiel 16:8, or in writing) by the prospective bridegroom. We know nothing of any formal ceremony or of the use of a ring (unless [unlikely] it may be in Genesis 24:58). The money payment belonged originally to the family of the woman, but gradually came to belong in part or wholly to the woman herself. The woman might bring wealth to her husband, as in the case of Rachel and Leah, but this was not obligatory in the Hebrew period, and cannot be said to belong to betrothal as such. The first advances might come from the family of either party. There is no clear evidence that the young woman had any right of appeal from the choice of her family. The bridegroom himself very probably did not conduct the negotiations, but the matter was in the hands of a third party, as his parents, or some trusted servant or friend.
After the Exile the custom of the earlier period seems to have continued, although with certain modifications. The payment to the bride’s father on the part of the prospective groom had been increasingly regarded as the property, at least in part, of the bride. Such a payment during this period was often supplemented by a dowry in the true sense (To 8:21, Sirach 25:22). No consent of the girl was demanded, nor do we know of the recognition of any legal age of consent, unless, as in somewhat later times, it was not expected that boys would marry before the age of eighteen or girls before twelve (Aboth v. 21). Although families undoubtedly reached some sort of early arrangement, there is no clear reference to the betrothal of children.
2. In Talmudic times proper there was a distinct tendency to combine betrothal with the wedding. At present the wedding ceremony among orthodox Jews combines the two elements of the two older ceremonies. Possibly because of Western influences the Rabbis became more insistent upon the right of the girl (at least if she had reached her majority, whenever that may have been, Kiddushin, 41a) to give consent, Rab especially urging it. As the two ceremonies were united, in addition to the former betrothal there grew up a much less permanent form of engagement similar to that which obtains among Western peoples to-day. In Jerusalem, at least, there seem to have been certain opportunities (15 of Ab and Kippurim) for young people to become acquainted before the union was determined upon. All men were supposed to marry before the age of 20, and the age of women was a few years less. Other tendencies in Talmudic times were the fixing of the amount of the dowry at not less than 50 zuz, that of the môhar at 200 zuz, and the use of a peculiarly shaped ring. It is interesting to note that the conventionalizing of the môhar is evidenced in the words which are now used for the ceremony of betrothal: קדנשׁין ‘consecration,’ אירושׂין ‘betrothal,’ שׁדבין ‘compact,’ הנאיס ‘conditions.’
3. Thus the ceremony of betrothal in NT times probably involved the following acts: (1) A contract drawn up by the parents or by the ‘friend of the bridegroom.’ (2) The meeting of the two families concerned, with other witnesses, at which time the groom gave the bride a ring and declared his intention to observe the terms of the contract already arranged. (3) The payment of the môhar. The act of betrothal gained in importance, and the two parties seem to have been seated under a canopy during the procedure, and the company to have joined in an increasingly jovial celebration. Strictly speaking, there was no religious ceremony connected with the act, but if a priest were present he doubtless pronounced some benediction which was subsequently elaborated into that used by later orthodox Judaism. The status of the man and woman was now, as in Hebrew times, practically the same as that of married persons, although it was now generally customary for the wedding ceremony proper to be celebrated at the expiration of a year in the case of a virgin, and in thirty days in the case of a widow. As in the older times, separation of betrothed persons demanded a divorce, and there seems to have been no reason why they should not live together as man and wife without a subsequent wedding ceremony. The children of such a union would be regarded as legitimate.
So far as the relations of Mary and Joseph are concerned, it would appear from the narrative in both Matthew and Luke that in their case the custom of the Jews was followed. The description of the betrothal in the Gospel of Mary is clearly unhistorical and born of pious imagination; but we are justified in believing that Joseph drew up the customary contract, paid a môhar of approximately 200 zuz, and gave Mary a ring. After the formal betrothal (μνηστεύειν, Matthew 1:18, Luke 1:27; Luke 2:5) they are reported to have lived together without a second, or wedding, ceremony. As has already appeared, there would be no question as to the legitimacy of children born of such a union.
Literature.—Complete details as to the Talmudic requirements regarding betrothal are given in Kiddushin; see also the article ‘Betrothal, in the Jewish Encyclopedia, and Mielziner, Jewish Law of Marriage and Divorce. For the ancient Hebrew betrothal, see Benzinger, Heb. Arch. p. 133 ff.; and Nowack, Heb. Arch. i. 155 ff. Brief accounts are also to be found in Edersheim, Sketches of Jewish Social Life, and good articles in Hamburger, Herzog, Hasting's Dictionary of the Bible, and in the Encyc. Biblica.
Shailer Mathews.
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Hastings, James. Entry for 'Betrothal'. Hastings' Dictionary of the New Testament. https://www.studylight.org/dictionaries/eng/hdn/b/betrothal.html. 1906-1918.
