Pastoral Resources

Q. What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches?

A. A nervous wreck.

At the county fair a distinctively dressed Quaker offered a horse for sale. A non-Quaker farmer asked its price, and since Quakers had a reputation for fair dealing, he bought the horse without hesitation. The farmer got the horse home, only to discover it was lazy and ill-tempered, so he took it back to the fair the next day. There he confronted the Quaker. “Thou hast no complaint against me,” said the Quaker. “Had thou asked me about the horse, I would have told thee truthfully the problems, but thou didst not ask.” “That’s okay,” replied the farmer. “I don’t want you to take the horse back. I want to try to sell him to someone else. Can I borrow your coat and hat awhile?”

Qualities Needed to Succeed

In a Chosen Career

Qualities Needed to Meet

the Needs of a Growing Child

A constant striving for perfection

A tolerance for repeated errors

Mobility

Stability

A need to be free from time constraints to focus

Plenty of time for family activities on work

Impatience

Patience

A goal-oriented attitude toward the project at hand

Emphasis on process, surprises and change as the child matures

A total commitment to yourself

A total commitment to others

A stubborn self-will

A softness and willingness to bend

Efficiency

A tolerance for chaos

A belief that succeeding must always be the top priority

An understanding that failure promotes growth

A controlling nature that enjoys directing others

A desire to promote independence in others even if their ways are not your ways

A concern about image

A relaxed acceptance of embarrassment

Firmness

Gentleness

A feeling that nobody is as smart as you

A true respect for your child’s abilities free from comparison with your own

A preference for concise information

Able to listen patiently while children talk

An exploitation of others

Able to put another’s needs ahead of one’s own

He must have a fine accent.

He must be learned.

He must be eloquent.

He must be a handsome person.

He must take no money, but have money to give.

He must tell people what they like to hear.

Qualities and virtues of a good preacher:

Able to teach in a right and orderly way.

A good head.

A good voice.

A good memory.

Know when to stop.

Be sure of his material and be diligent.

Stake body and life, goods and honor on it.

Suffer himself to be vexed and flayed by everyone.

Americans were asked how close they are to meeting their ideal goals; analysts at KRC Research used the answers to develop measures of happiness they call “quality quotients.” Answers above 8 indicate general happiness; those below 7 denote relative unhappiness.

Percent Who Rank Issue One Of the Top Three Priorities in Life

Issue

Quotient

Quality

1. Family life

68%

8.18

2. Spiritual life

46%

8.25

3. Health

44%

7.68

4. Financial situation

25%

5.98

5. Their jobs

23%

6.82

6. Romantic life

18%

7.71

7. Leisure Time

14%

6.14

8. Their homes

11%

8.12

I learned the idea of Quality Time was an evil lie. Some experts pushed the idea that successful overachievers, those we call Yuppies today, could have children and be guilt-free about the little time they were able to devote to them. The remedy was Quality Time. Sort of like one-minute parenting. It went like this: Be sure to make what little time you are able to spend with your child Quality Time. What garbage. I’ve seen the results of kids who were given only Quality Time. The problem is that kids don’t know the difference. What they need is time—all they can get. Quantity time is quality time, whether you’re discussing the meaning of the cosmos or just climbing on Dad.

One New Year’s Eve at London’s Garrick Club, British dramatist Frederick Lonsdale was asked by Symour Hicks to reconcile with a fellow member. The two had quarreled in the past and never restored their friendship. “You must,” Hicks said to Lonsdale. “It is very unkind to be unfriendly at such a time. Go over now and wish him a happy New Year.”

So Lonsdale crossed the room and spoke to his enemy. “I wish you a happy New Year,” he said, “but only one.”

At a reception honoring musician Sir Robert Mayer on his 100th birthday, elderly British socialite Lady Diana Cooper fell into conversation with a friendly woman who seemed to know her well. Lady Diana’s failing eyesight prevented her from recognizing her fellow guest, until she peered more closely at the magnificent diamonds and realized she was talking to Queen Elizabeth! Overcome with embarrassment, Lady Diana curtsied and stammered, “Ma’am, oh, ma’am, I’m sorry ma’am. I didn’t recognize you without your crown!”

“It was so much Sir Robert’s evening,” the queen replied, “that I decided to leave it behind.”

When Queen Victoria was a child, she didn’t know she was in line for the throne of England. Her instructors, trying to prepare her for the future, were frustrated because they couldn’t motivate her. She just didn’t take her studies seriously. Finally, her teachers decided to tell her that one day she would become the queen of England.

Upon hearing this, Victoria quietly said, “Then I will be good.”

The realization that she had inherited this high calling gave her a sense of responsibility that profoundly affected her conduct from then on.

The Persians tell a story about an unhappy king. In an attempt to find the answer to his dissatisfaction, he consulted his astrologers who told him he could find happiness by wearing the coat of a perfectly happy man. Immediately the king set out on his quest. He knocked at the doors of the very rich, for it seemed logical to find happiness there, but in vain. He visited the institutions of higher learning, thinking the erudite must be happy in their wisdom. That, too, proved a dead end. Finally he stumbled across a common laborer singing at his work who confessed he was perfectly happy. "Sell me your coat," cried the king. "I'll give you a bag of gold for it." But the laborer only laughed and said, "I'd gladly give it to you, Sir, but I have no coat." This is only a legend of course, but it illustrates a profound truth. Achieving riches is not synonymous with achieving happiness. That doesn't mean the rich have to become poor in order to be happy. The ranks of the happy include both poor and rich as well as those in between. King Solomon had the right idea when he prayed, "Give me neither poverty nor riches; feed me with food convenient for me: lest I be full, and deny thee, and say, Who is the Lord? or lest I be poor, and steal, and take the name of my God in vain" (Pro_30:8-9). Paul said it even more succinctly when he wrote to Timothy, "Godliness with contentment is great gain" (1Ti_6:6).

After John Wesley had been preaching for some time, some one said to him, “Are you sure, Mr. Wesley, of your salvation?”

“Well,” he answered, “Jesus Christ died for the whole world.”

“Yes, we all believe that; but are you sure that you are saved?”

Wesley replied that he was sure that provision had been made for his salvation.

“But are you sure, Wesley, that you are saved?”

It went like an arrow to his heart, and he had no rest or power until that questions was settled.

Many men and many women go on month after month, and year after year, without power, because they do not know their standing in Christ; they are not sure of their own footing for eternity.

Latimer wrote Ridley once that when he was settled and steadfast about his own salvation he was as bold as a lion, but if that hope became eclipsed he was fearful and afraid and was disqualified for service. Many are disqualified for service because they are continually doubting their own salvation.

Elaine Brown, in an article published in Discipleship Journal, asks us to consider the following seven questions before saying “yes” to a new opportunity:

1. Will my spouse and children be adversely affected if I say “yes” to this?

2. Is this new opportunity likely to place undue stress on my mind, emotions, and/or body?

3. Am I fully aware of all that is involved in this commitment?

4. Could this new opportunity undermine my effectiveness in already existing commitments?

5. Will this opportunity enable me to use my God-given spiritual gifts and natural talents?

6. Would it be better for someone else to do this?

7. What are my motives for considering this opportunity?

Questions that Charles Stanley and In Touch Ministry ask when making decisions:

1. Is this biblical?

2. Will it help accomplish our goals?

3. Is it wise stewardship of our resources?

4. Will it glorify Christ?

If a man loves a woman for her beauty, does he love her?

No; for the small-pox, which destroys her beauty without killing her, causes his love to cease.

And if any one loves me for my judgment or my memory, does he really love me?

No; for I can lose these qualities without ceasing to be.

- Pascal

A funny thing happened in Darlington, Maryland, several years ago. Edith, a mother of eight, was coming home from a neighbor’s house one Saturday afternoon. Things seemed too quiet as she walked across her front yard. Curious, she peered through the screen door and saw five of her youngest children huddled together, concentrating on something. As she crept closer to them, trying to discover the center of attention, she could not believe her eyes. Smack dab in the middle of the circle were five baby skunks. Edith screamed at the top of her voice, “Quick, children...run!” Each kid grabbed a skunk and ran.

A man came up to Moody once and criticized him for the way he went about winning souls. Moody listened courteously and then asked, "How would you do it?" The man, taken aback, mumbled that he didn't do it. "Well," said Moody, "I prefer the way I do it to the way you don't do it."

Humility is perfect quietness of heart. It is for me to have no trouble; never to be fretted or vexed or irritated or sore or disappointed. It is to expect nothing, to wonder at nothing that is done to me, to feel nothing done against me. It is to be at rest when nobody praises me and when I am blamed or despised. It is to have a blessed home in the Lord where I can go in and shut the door and kneel to my Father in secret and be at peace as in a deep sea of calmness when all around is trouble. It is the fruit of the Lord Jesus Christ’s redemptive work on Calvary’s cross, manifested in those of His own who are definitely subject to the Holy Spirit. - Andrew Murray

If you take off your right-hand glove in very cold weather, the key will be in your left-hand pocket.

A film studio painted a sign on the roof in letters eight feet high, reading QUIET PLEASE. Instead of keeping noisy airplanes away, the sign brought planes roaring down even lower so pilots could read what it said.

Sam Jones was a preacher who held revival services, which he called “quittin’ meetings.” His preaching was directed primarily to Christians, and he urged them to give up the sinful practices in their lives. Sam’s messages were very effective, and many people promised to quit swearing, drinking, smoking, lying, gossiping, or anything else that was displeasing to the Lord.

On one occasion Jones asked a woman, “Just what is it that you’re quittin’?”

She replied, “I’m guilty of not doing something -- and I’m going to quit doing that too!” Even though she had no bad habits to give up, she wasn’t actively living to please God.

Sam Jones was a preacher who held revival services, which he called “quittin’ meetings.” His preaching was directed primarily to Christians, and he urged them to give up the sinful practices in their lives. Sam’s messages were very effective, and many people promised to quit swearing, drinking, smoking, lying, gossiping, or anything else that was displeasing to the Lord.

On one occasion Jones asked a woman, “Just what is it that you’re quittin’?” She replied, “I’m guilty of not doing something—and I’m going to quit doing that too!” Even though she had no bad habits to give up, she wasn’t actively living to please God.

I used to ask God if He would come and help me. Then I asked if I could come and help Him. Finally I ended by asking God to do His own work through me. - J. Hudson Taylor

A single man has not nearly the value he would have in a state of union. He is an incomplete animal. He resembles the odd half of a pair of scissors. - B. Franklin

Use what talents you possess: The woods would be very silent if no birds sang there except those that sang best. - Henry Van Dyke, Bits & Pieces, March 31, 1994, p. 16

It is almost as presumptuous to think you can do nothing as to think you can do everything. - Phillips Brooks

Consider the postage stamp: its usefulness consists in the ability to stick to one thing till it gets there. - Josh Billings

God indeed has the Devil in a chain, but has horribly lengthened out the chain. Cotton Mather

That there is a devil is a thing doubted by none but such as are under the influence of the Devil. - Cotton Mather

A body of research has shown that divorce has negative effects on a child’s psychological, emotional, and physical health and well-being.

Divorce is shown to have more severe financial consequences for women than for men. Research has found that a woman’s disposable income drops about 30 percent after a divorce while a man’s falls about 10 percent (Stroup and Pollock, 1994).

Men who divorce suffer greater health problems than their married counterparts. A research review done by Robert Coombs of UCLA found married adults generally reported healthier, longer, and more satisfied lives than their unmarried peers (Coombs, 1991).

Sara McLanahan of Princeton University concluded in her 1991 study that “adolescents in mother-only families are more susceptible to peer influence than those living with both natural parents.”

“Research has documented that children without fathers more often have lowered academic performance, more cognitive and intellectual deficits, increased adjustment problems, and higher risks for psychological development problems.” This conclusion was reached by George Rekers, a practicing clinical psychologist and professor at the University of South Carolina medical school, in a 1986 testimony before the Select Committee on Children, Youth, and Families.

The conclusions of these researchers are just examples of the volumes of social science research that has documented the unquestionable and unequaled goodness and benefit brought to children through families headed by their married mother and father.

While many Washington state parents would agree that marriage is a lifetime commitment, as evidenced by their agreement and disagreement with the statements below, the number of divorces and percentage of children living in single-parent families continue to climb. Husbands and wives need to see that there is hope for their marriage—that there are people who care and tools that can help them not just survive but thrive in their commitment to one another and their children.

1. Rutherford argued that Romans 13 indicates that all power is from God and that government is ordained and instituted by God. The state, however, is to be administered according to the principles of God’s Law. Acts of the state which contradicted God’s Law were illegitimate and acts of tyranny. Tyranny was defined as ruling without the sanction of God.

2. Rutherford held that a tyrannical government is always immoral. He said that “a power ethical, politic, or moral, to oppress, is not from God, and is not a power, but a licentious deviation of a power; and is no more from God, but from sinful nature and the old serpent, than a license to sin.”

3. Rutherford presents several arguments to establish the right and duty of resistance to unlawful government. First, since tyranny is satanic, not to resist it is to resist God—to resist tyranny is to honor God. Second, since the ruler is granted power conditionally, it follows that the people have the power to withdraw their sanction if the proper conditions are not fulfilled. The civil magistrate is a “fiduciary figure”—that is, he holds his authority in trust for the people. Violation of the trust gives the people a legitimate base for resistance.

It follows from Rutherford’s thesis that citizens have a moral obligation to resist unjust and tyrannical government. While we must always be subject to the office of the magistrate, we are not to be subject to the man in that office who commands that which is contrary the Bible.

Rutherford offered suggestions concerning illegitimate acts of the state. A ruler, he wrote, should not be deposed merely because he commits a single breach of the compact he has with the people. Only when the magistrate acts in such a way that the governing structure of the country is being destroyed—that is, when he is attacking the fundamental structure of society—is he to be relieved of his power and authority. A Christian Manifesto, F. Schaeffer, p. 100-101

In Lex Rex he (Rutherford) does not propose armed revolution as an automatic solution. Instead, he sets forth the appropriate response to interference by the state in the liberties of the citizenry. Specifically, he stated that if the state deliberately is committed to destroying its ethical commitment to God then resistance is appropriate.

In such an instance, for the private person, the individual, Rutherford suggested that there are three appropriate levels of resistance: First, he must defend himself by protest (in contemporary society this would most often be by legal action); second, he must flee if at all possible; and third, he may use force, if necessary, to defend himself. One should not employ force if he may save himself by flight; nor should one employ flight if he can save himself and defend himself by protest and the employment of constitutional means of redress.

On the other hand, when the state commits illegitimate acts against a corporate body—such as a duly constituted state or local body, or even a church—then flight is often an impractical and unrealistic means of resistance. Therefore, with respect to a corporate group or community, there are two levels of resistance: remonstration (or protest) and then, if necessary, force employed in self-defense.

For a corporate body (a civil entity), when illegitimate state acts are perpetrated upon it, resistance should be under the protection of the duly constituted authorities: if possible, it should be under the rule of the lesser magistrates (local officials). Rutherford urged that the office of the local official is just as much from God as is the office of the highest state official. pp. 103-4

Force, as used in this book, means compulsion or constraint exerted upon a person (or persons) or on an entity such as the state. When discussing force it is important to keep an axiom in mind: always before protest or force is used, we must work for reconstruction. In other words, we should attempt to correct and rebuild society before we advocate tearing it down or disrupting it.

If there is a legitimate reason for the use of force, and if there is a vigilant precaution against its overreaction in practice, then at a certain point a use of force is justifiable. We should recognize, however, that overreaction can too easily become the ugly horror of sheer violence. Therefore a distinction between force and violence is crucial. p. 106

This defense (of human life) should be carried out on at least four fronts:

First, we should aggressively support a human life bill or a constitutional amendment protecting unborn children.

Second, we must enter the courts seeking to overturn the Supreme Court’s abortion decision.

Third, legal and political action should be taken against hospitals and abortion clinics that perform abortions (perhaps including picketing).

Fourth, the State must be made to feel the presence of the Christian community. This may include doing such things as sit-ins in legislatures and courts, including the Supreme Court, when other constitutional means fail...The bottom line is that at a certain point there is not only the right, but the duty, to disobey the state.

This is scary. There are at least four reasons why.

First, we must make definite that we are in no way talking about any kind of a theocracy.

Second, it is frightening when we realize that our consideration of these things, and this work, will certainly get behind the Iron Curtain and into other tyrannical countries where Christians face these questions in practice every day of their lives, in prison or out of prison. p. 120

A matter of individual decision?

In our day an illustration for the need of protest is tax money being used for abortion. After all the normal constitutional means of protest had been exhausted, then what could be done? At some point protest could lead some Christians to refuse to pay some portion of their tax money. Of course,, this would mean a trial. Such a move would have to be the individual’s choice under God. No one should decide for another. (p. 108)

After recognizing man’s God-given absolute rights, the Declaration [of Independence] goes on to declare that whenever civil government becomes destructive of these rights, “it is the right of the people to alter and abolish it, and institute new government, laying its foundation on such principles, and organizing its powers in such form as to them shall seem most likely to effect their safely and happiness.” The Founding Fathers, in the spirit of Lex Rex, cautioned in the Declaration of Independence that established governments should not be altered or abolished for “light and transient causes.” But when there is a “long train of abuses and usurpations” designed to produce an oppressive, authoritarian state, “it is their right, it is their duty, to throw off such government...”

Simply put, the Declaration of Independence states that the people, if they find that their basic rights are being systematically attacked by the state, have a duty to try to change that government, and if they cannot do so, to abolish it. Christian Manifesto, pp. 127-8

If there is no final place for civil disobedience, then the government has been made autonomous, and as such, it has been put in the place of the Living God. If there is no final place for civil disobedience, then the government has been made autonomous, and as such, it has been put in the place of the Living God, because then you are to obey it even when it tells you in is own way at that time to worship Caesar. And that point is exactly where the early Christians performed their acts of civil disobedience even when it cost them their lives. Christian Manifesto, p. 130

It is time we consciously realize that when any office commands what is contrary to God’s Law it abrogates its authority. And our loyalty to the God who gave this law then requires that we make the appropriate response in that situation to such a tyrannical usurping of power. pp 131-2