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Sermon Illustrations Archive

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La Gurardia Paid His Fine

As mayor of New York, Fiorello La Guardia liked to keep in touch with all the various departments under him. Often he would fill in for the department heads or officeholders as a way of accomplishing this. One time he chose to preside over Night Court. It was a cold winter night and a trembling man was brought before him charged with stealing a loaf of bread. His family, he said, was starving.

“I have to punish you,” declared La Guardia. “There can be no exceptions to the law. I fine you ten dollars.” As he said this, however, The Little Flower was reaching into his own pocket for the money. He tossed the bill into his famous sombrero. “Here’s the ten dollars to pay your fine—which I now remit,” he said.

“Furthermore,” he declared, “I’m going to fine everybody in this courtroom fifty cents for living in a city where a man has to steal bread in order to eat. Mr. Bailiff, collect the fines and give them to the defendant!” The hat was passed and the incredulous man, with a smile on his face, left the courtroom with a stake of $47.50.

Bits & Pieces, August 20, 1992, pp. 19-20
La Traviata

Verdi’s opera “La Traviata” was a failure when it was first performed. Even though the singers chosen for the leading roles were the best of the day, everything went wrong. The tenor had a cold and sang in a hoarse, almost inaudible voice. The soprano who played the part of the delicate, sickly heroine was one of the stoutest ladies on or off stage, and very healthy and loud.

At the beginning of the Third Act when the doctor declares that consumption was wasted away the “frail, young lady” and she cannot live more than a few hours, the audience was thrown into a spasm of laughter, a state very different from that necessary to appreciate the tragic moment!

Charles Swindoll, Living Above the Level of Mediocrity, p. 182
Labels

Have you checked the labels on your grocery items lately? You may be getting less than you thought. According to U.S. News & World Report, some manufacturers are selling us the same size packages we are accustomed to, but they are putting less of the product in the box. For example, a box of well-known detergent that once held 61 ounces now contains only 55. Same size box, less soap.

How something is wrapped doesn’t always show us what’s on the inside. That’s true with people as well. We can wrap ourselves up in the same packaging every day—nice clothes, big smile, friendly demeanor—yet still be less than what we appear to be.

Our Daily Bread, June 22, 1992
Laboratory Experiment

A number of years ago researchers performed an experiment to see the effect hope has on those undergoing hardship. Two sets of laboratory rats were placed in separate tubs of water. The researchers left one set in the water and found that within an hour they had all drowned. The other rats were periodically lifted out of the water and then returned. When that happened, the second set of rats swam for over 24 hours. Why? Not because they were given a rest, but because they suddenly had hope!

Those animals somehow hoped that if they could stay afloat just a little longer, someone would reach down and rescue them. If hope holds such power for unthinking rodents, how much greater should is effect be on our lives.

Today in the Word, May, 1990, MBI, p. 34
Laborers Together

An old legend tells of a noisy carpenter's shop in which the tools of the trade were arguing among themselves. Brother Hammer was told by his fellow tools that he would have to leave because he was too noisy. To which he replied, "If I am to leave this carpenter's shop, Brother Gimlet must go too; he is so insignificant that he makes very little impression."

Little Brother Gimlet arose and said, "All right, but Brother Screw must go also; you have to turn him around and around again and again to get him anywhere."

Brother Screw said, "If you wish, I will go. But Brother Plane must leave also; all his work is on the surface, there is no depth to it."

To this Brother Plane replied, "Well, Brother Rule will have to withdraw if I do, for he is always measuring others as though he were the only one who is right."

Brother Rule then complained against Brother Sandpaper and said, "I just do not care, he is rougher than he ought to be and he is always rubbing people the wrong way."

In the midst of the discussion, the Carpenter of Nazareth walked in. He had come to perform His day's work. He put on His apron, and went to the bench to make a pulpit. He employed the screw, the gimlet, the sandpaper, the saw, the hammer and the plane and all the other tools. After the day's work was over and the pulpit was finished, Brother Saw arose and said, "Brethren, I perceive that all of us are laborers together with God."

Is it not wonderful how God uses all of us and our unique gifts in the building of His pulpit!

Anonymous
Lack Character

Gen. H. Norman Schwarzkopf:

I’ve met a lot of leaders in the Army who were very competent—but they didn’t have character. And for every job they did well, they sought reward in the form of promotions, in the form of awards and decorations, in the form of getting ahead at the expense of someone else, in the form of another piece of paper that awarded them another degree—a sure road to the top. You see, these were competent people, but they lacked character.

I’ve also met a lot of leaders who had superb character but who lacked competence. They weren’t willing to pay the price of leadership, to go the extra mile because that’s what it took to be a great leader.

And that’s sort of what it’s all about. To lead in the 21st century—to take soldiers, sailors, airmen into battle—you will be required to have both character and competence.

Speech to the Corps of Cadets at the U.S. Military Academy, in Reader’s Digest
Lack of Knowledge

Let me tell you a true but tragic story: A woman was once walking along a riverbank with her child. Suddenly the child slipped into the river. The mother screamed in terror. She couldn’t swim, and besides, she was in the latter stages of pregnancy. Finally, somebody heard her screaming and rushed down to the riverbank. The utter tragedy was, when they stepped into those murky waters to retrieve that now dead child, they found that the water was only waist deep! That mother could have easily saved her child but didn’t because of a lack of knowledge.

Hell’s Best Kept Secret, by Ray Comfort (Bellflower, CA: Ray Comfort, 1989), pp. 160-161.
Lack of Opposition

Joseph Lewis Preston, of the Free Thinkers of America, told an Associated Press reporter, “Organized interest in atheism has lagged because the opposition isn’t as strong as it used to be. There has been considerable liberalizing of religion and the lines of conflict aren’t nearly as strong.” Charles Smith, president of the American Association for the Advancement of Atheism, reported that the lack of opposition was the cause of the decline of atheism. “We don’t have the old repressive religion that stimulates atheism, and they don’t preach hell-fire and Jonah in the whale anymore. They go in for this cheer-them-up religion. That’s not the old-time religion. It may be that this new sort is not so bad but they don’t let it interfere with their lives. They spent more time in the old days pleasing God. Now they try to please their fellow men.”

Excerpt from Back to Bethel by J. Vernon McGee, quoted in “Thru the Bible Radio” (Pasadena, June 1996).
Lack of Touching In a South American Orphanage

No more convincing evidence of the absence of parental affection exists than that compiled by Rene Spitz. In a South American orphanage, Spitz observed and recorded what happened to 97 children who were deprived of emotional and physical contact with others. Because of a lack of funds, there was not enough staff to adequately care for these children, ages 3 months to 3 years old. Nurses changed diapers and fed and bathed the children. But there was little time to hold, cuddle, and talk to them as a mother would. After three months many of them showed signs of abnormality. Besides a loss of appetite and being unable to sleep well, many of the children lay with a vacant expression in their eyes. After five months, serious deterioration set in. They lay whimpering, with troubled and twisted faces. Often, when a doctor or nurse would pick up an infant, it would scream in terror. Twenty seven, almost one third, of the children died the first year, but not from lack of food or health care. They died of a lack of touch and emotional nurture. Because of this, seven more died the second year. Only twenty one of the 97 survived, most suffering serious psychological damage.

Unfinished Business, Charles Sell, Multnomah, 1989, pp. 39ff
Ladder

Medieval theologians argued that since a ladder leaning against a wall forms a triangle and a triangle is a symbolic reminder of the Holy Trinity, anyone who carelessly blunders through this mystical space is risking divine wrath! Even when that argument lost itself in history’s muddle, condemned Englishmen about to be hanged at Tyburn or some other notable place of execution were required to walk under the ladder that stood against the gallows for convenience of the executioner. In those circumstances, you could say the man was certainly in for a spell of very bad luck.

Source unknown
Ladder to the Loft

When my son was five years old, I showed him around my grandfather’s farm, pointing out the hard work and skills it once took to farm the land. As we entered the cow barn, I gazed up at the long, handmade ladder to the loft and explained that that was where my grandfather had kept the hay to feed the cows. I was delighted at the impression this seemed to make, until my son remarked, “I bet it was hard for those cows to climb that ladder.”

Carol Podemski, Reader’s Digest, November, 1991
Lady Ann Erskine and Rowland Hill
There is a very good story told of Rowland Hill and Lady Ann Erskine. You have seen it, perhaps, in print, but I would like to tell it to you. While he was preaching in a park in London to a large assemblage, she was passing in her carriage. She said to her footman when she saw Rowland Hill in the midst of the people, "Why, who is that man?" That is Rowland Hill, my lady." She had heard a good deal about the man, and she thought she would like to see him, so she directed her coachman to drive her near the platform. When the carriage came near he saw the insignia of nobility, and he asked who that noble lady was. Upon being told, he said, "Stop, my friends, I have got something to sell." The idea of a preacher becoming suddenly an auctioneer made the people wonder, and in the midst of a dead silence he said: "I have more than a title to sell--I have more than a crown of Europe to sell; it is the soul of Lady Ann Erskine. Is there anyone here who bids for it? Yes, I hear a bid. Satan, Satan, what will you give? 'I will give pleasure, honor, riches--yea, I will give the whole world for her soul.' Do you hear another bid? Is there any other one? Do I hear another bid? Ah, I thought so; I hear another bid. The Lord Jesus Christ, what will You give for this soul? 'I will give peace, joy, comfort, that the world knows not of--yea, I will give eternal life.' Lady Ann Erskine, you have heard the two bidders for your soul, which will you accept? And she ordered the door of her carriage to be opened, and came weeping from it, and accepted the Lord Jesus Christ. He, the great and mighty Saviour, is a bidder for your soul to-night. He offers you riches and comfort, and joy, peace here, and eternal life hereafter, while Satan offers you what he cannot give. Poor lost soul, which will you have? He will ransom your soul if you but put your burden upon Him. Twenty-one years ago I made up my mind that Jesus would have my soul, and I have never regretted the step, and no man has ever felt sorry for coming to Him. When we accept Him we must like Him. Your sins may rise up as a mountain, but the Son of Man can purge you of all evil, and take you right into the palaces of Heaven, if you will only allow Him to Save you.
Moody's Anecdotes and Illustrations
Lamentations of the Father

Ian Frazier explains that he was reading Leviticus and watching his kids alone for the weekend when he wrote: Laws Concerning Food and Drink—Household Principles

1. Laws Pertaining to the Living Room

Of the beasts of the field, and of the fishes of the sea, and of all foods that are acceptable in my sight you may eat, but not in the living room.

Of the hoofed animals, broiled or ground into burgers, you may eat, but not in the living room.

Of the cloven-hoofed animal, plain or with cheese, you may eat, but not in the living room.

Of the cereal grains, of the corn and of the wheat and of the oats, and of all the cereals that are of bright color and unknown provenance you may eat, but not in the living room.

Of the quiescently frozen dessert and of all frozen after-meal treats you may eat, but absolutely not in the living room.

Of the juices and other beverages, yes, even of those in sippy-cups, you may drink, but not in the living room, neither may you carry such therein. Indeed, when you reach the place where the living room carpet begins, of any food or beverage there you may not eat, neither may you drink.

But if you are sick, and are lying down and watching something, then may you eat in the living room.

2. Laws When at Table

And if you are seated in your high chair, or in a chair such as a greater person might use, keep your legs and feet below you as they were. Neither raise up your knees, nor place your feet upon the table, for that is an abomination to me. Yes, even when you have an interesting bandage to show, your feet upon the table are an abomination, and worthy of rebuke.

Drink your milk as it is given you, neither use on it any utensils, nor fork, nor knife, nor spoon, for that is not what they are for; if you will dip your blocks in the milk, and lick it off, you will be sent away. When you have drunk, let the empty cup then remain upon the table, and do not bite it upon its edge and by your teeth hold it to your face in order to make noises in it sounding like a duck; for you will be sent away.

When you chew your food, keep your mouth closed until you have swallowed, and do not open it to show your brother or your sister what is within; I say to you, do not so, even if your brother or your sister has done the same to you.

Eat your food only; do not eat that which is not food; neither seize the table between your jaws, nor use the raiment of the table to wipe your lips. I say again to you, do not touch it, but leave it as it is. And though your stick of carrot does indeed resemble a marker, draw not with it upon the table, even in pretend, for we do not do that, that is why. And though the pieces of broccoli are very like small trees, do not stand them upright to make a forest, because we do not do that, that is why.

Sit just as I have told you, and do not lean to one side or the other, nor slide down until you are nearly slid away. Heed me; for if you sit like that, your hair will go into the syrup. And now behold, even as I have said, it has come to pass.

3. Laws Pertaining to Dessert

For we judge between the plate that is unclean and the plate that is clean, saying first, if the plate is clean, then you shall have dessert. But of the unclean plate, the laws are these: If you have eaten most of your meat, and two bites of your peas with each bite consisting of not less than three peas each, or in total six peas, eaten where I can see, and you have also eaten enough of your potatoes to fill two forks, both forkfuls eaten where I can see, then you shall have dessert. But if you eat a lesser number of peas, and yet you eat the potatoes, still you shall not have dessert; and if you eat the peas, yet leave the potatoes uneaten, you shall not have dessert, no, not even a small portion thereof. And if you try to deceive by moving the potatoes or peas around with a fork, that it may appear you have eaten what you have not, you will fall into iniquity. And I will know, and you shall have no dessert.

4. On Screaming

Do not scream; for it is as if you scream all the time. If you are given a plate on which two foods you do not wish to touch each other are touching each other, your voice rises up even to the ceiling, while you point to the offense with the finger of your right hand; but I say to you, scream not, only remonstrate gently with the server, that the server may correct the fault.

Likewise if you receive a portion of fish from which every piece of herbal seasoning has not been scraped off, and the herbal seasoning is loathsome to you, and steeped in vileness, again I say, refrain from screaming. Though the vileness overwhelm you, and cause you a faint unto death, make not that sound from within your throat, neither cover your face, nor press your fingers to your nose. For even now I have made the fish as it should be; behold, I eat of it myself, yet do not die.

5. Concerning Face and Hands

Cast your countenance upward to the light, and lift your eyes to the hills, that I may more easily wash you off. For the stains are upon you; even to the very back of your head, there is rice thereon. And in the breast pocket of your garment, and upon the tie of your shoe, rice and other fragments are distributed in a manner wonderful to see. Only hold yourself still; hold still, I say.

Give each finger in its turn for my examination thereof, and also each thumb. Lo, how iniquitous they appear. What I do is as it must be; and you shall not go hence until I have done.

6. Various Other Laws, Statutes, and Ordinances

Bite not, lest you be cast into quiet time. Neither drink of your own bath water, nor of bath water of any kind; nor rub your feet on bread, even if it be in the package; nor rub yourself against cars, nor against any building; nor eat sand.

Leave the cat alone, for what has the cat done, that you should so afflict it with tape? And hum not that humming in your nose as I read, nor stand between the light and the book. Indeed, you will drive me to madness. Nor forget what I said about the tape.

7. Complaints and Lamentations

O my children, you are disobedient. For when I tell you what you must do, you argue and dispute hotly even to the littlest detail; and when I do not accede, you cry out, and hit and kick. Yes, and even sometimes do you spit, and shout “stupid-head” and other blasphemies, and hit and kick the wall and the molding thereof when you are sent to the corner. And though the law teaches that no one shall be sent to the corner for more minutes than he has years of age, yet I would leave you there all day, so mighty am I in anger. But upon being sent to the corner you ask straightaway, “Can I come out?” and I reply, “No, you may not come out.” And again you ask, and again I give the same reply. But when you ask again a third time, then you may come out.

Hear me, O my children, for the bills they kill me. I pay and pay again, even to the twelfth time in a year, and yet again they mount higher than before. For our health, that we may be covered, I give six hundred and twenty talents twelve times in a year; but even this covers not the fifteen hundred deductible for each member of the family within a calendar year. And yet for ordinary visits we still are not covered, nor for many medicines, nor for the teeth within our mouths. Guess not at what rage is in my mind, for surely you cannot know. For I will come to you at the first of the month and at the fifteenth of the month with the bills and a great whining and moan. And when the month of taxes comes, I will decry the wrong and unfairness of it, and mourn with wine and ashtrays, and rend my receipts. And you shall remember that I am that I am: before, after, and until you are twenty-one. Hear me then, and avoid me in my wrath, O children of me.

- By Ian Frazier.

Copyright © 1997 by The Atlantic Monthly Company. All rights reserved. The Atlantic Monthly; February 1997; Laws Concerning Food and Drink; Household Principles; Lamentations of the Father; Volume 279, No. 2; pages 89-90.
Land of the Dying

When John Owen, the great Puritan, lay on his deathbed his secretary wrote (in his name) to a friend, “I am still in the land of the living.”

“Stop,” said Owen. “Change that and say, I am yet in the land of the dying, but I hope soon to be in the land of the living.”

John M. Drescher

Source unknown
Land of the Living

A man who was dying called upon his secretary to write a letter to a friend. "I continue to be in the land of the living," his secretary wrote in her desire to help him. But he corrected her. Instead, he instructed her to write, "I am still found in the land of the dying, but soon I shall be found in the land of the living."

Anonymous
Largest Ice Palace in America

On November 25, 1895, a cornerstone of ice was laid in Leadville, Colorado—the beginning of the largest ice palace ever built in America. In an effort to bolster the town’s sagging economy, the citizens staged a winter carnival. On New Year’s Day of 1896, the town turned out for the grand opening. The immense palace measured 450 x 320 feet. The towers that flanked the entrance were 90 feet high. Inside was a 16,000-square-foot skating rink. But by the end of March the palace was melting away, along with the hopes of Leadville. The thousands of visitors had spent very little.

Today in the Word, August 4, 1993
Last Gladiator Fight

Telemachus was a monk who lived in the 4th century. He felt God saying to him, “Go to Rome.” He was in a cloistered monastery. He put his possessions in a sack and set out for Rome. When he arrived in the city, people were thronging in the streets. He asked why all the excitement and was told that this was the day that the gladiators would be fighting and killing each other in the coliseum, the day of the games, the circus.

He thought to himself, “Four centuries after Christ and they are still killing each other, for enjoyment?” He ran to the coliseum and heard the gladiators saying, “Hail to Caesar, we die for Caesar” and he thought, “this isn’t right.” He jumped over the railing and went out into the middle of the field, got between two gladiators, held up his hands and said “In the name of Christ, forbear.”

The crowd protested and began to shout, “Run him through, Run him through.” A gladiator came over and hit him in the stomach with the back of his sword. It sent him sprawling in the sand. He got up and ran back and again said, “In the name of Christ, forbear.” The crowd continued to chant, “Run him through.” One gladiator came over and plunged his sword through the little monk’s stomach and he fell into the sand, which began to turn crimson with his blood. One last time he gasped out, “In the name of Christ forbear.” A hush came over the 80,000 people in the coliseum. Soon a man stood and left, then another and more, and within minutes all 80,000 had emptied out of the arena. It was the last known gladiatorial contest in the history of Rome.

Source unknown
Last Man in Blows the Whistle

A factory manager found that production was being hampered by the tardiness of his people returning from the lunch hour. When the whistle blew few were at their machines. He posted a sign by the suggestion box offering a cash award for the best answer to this question: “What should we do to ensure that every man will be inside the factory when the whistle blows? “Many suggestions were submitted, and the one that was selected solved the problem. But he manager, a man with a sense of humor, liked this one best, though he could not use it: “Let the last man in blow the whistle.”

Source unknown
Last Minute Repentance

At the Sudan Interior Mission Kijabe Medical Center, SIM medical missionaries Bob and Marion Bowers recently treated a young man with a paralyzing snake bite and saw him live long enough to accept Christ as his Savior. In many Third World countries, snake bites are common—and fatal. For four days, the young man remained unconscious. Under normal circumstances he would have died the day of the snake bite. But on the fifth day he miraculously woke up. That afternoon a group of students from Moffat Bible College came to the hospital to share the gospel with the patients. After hearing the words of truth, the man accepted Christ as his savior. At midnight, he had cardiac arrest and died.

Harvest, Summer, 1991, Vol. 1, #1
Last Stand

Leonidas, King of Sparta, was preparing to make a stand with his Greek troops against the Persian army in 480 B.C. when a Persian envoy arrived. The man urged on Leonidas the futility of trying to resist the advance of the huge Persian army. “Our archers are so numerous,” said the envoy, “that the flight of their arrows darkens the sun.”

“So much the better,” replied Leonidas, “for we shall fight them in the shade.”

Leonidas made his stand, and died with his 300 troops.

Today in the Word, November 4, 1993
Last Will and Testament

When American financier John Peirpont Morgan died in 1913, his last will and testament revealed his genuine faith in Jesus Christ. He had prefaced his specific bequests with these significant words:

“I commit my soul into the hands of my Savior, in full confidence that having received it and washed it in His most precious blood He will present it faultless before the throne of my heavenly Father. And I entreat my children to maintain and defend, at all hazard, and at any cost of personal sacrifice, the blessed doctrine of the complete atonement for sin through the blood of Jesus Christ, once offered, and through that alone.”

Our Daily Bread, May 11, 1995
Last Words

“Our God is the God from whom cometh salvation: God is the Lord by whom we escape death.” - Martin Luther

“Live in Christ, live in Christ, and the flesh need not fear death.” - John Knox

“Thou, Lord, bruisest me; but I am abundantly satisfied, since it is from Thy hand.” - John Calvin

“The best of all is, God is with us. Farewell! Farewell!” - John Wesley

“I shall be satisfied with Thy likeness—satisfied, satisfied!” - Charles Wesley

Source unknown
Last Yak

Next time you’re walking past a cemetery on a dark, eerie night and think you hear voices from the past, well. . . you may be right.

Graveyard ghosts? No, talking tombstones. This newfangled graveyard gizmo, known officially by its U. S. patent number 4169970, enables the departed to leave (prior to their departure, of course) up to a two-hour statement for posterity.

Developed by Stan Zelazny and Mike Opiela and marketed by a firm in Sunnyvale, California, the audio epitaph is embedded in the tombstone and is solar-powered. Cemetery survivors can therefore listen to the cadaver’s palaver again and again and again, providing it’s a sunny day.

Graveyard gabbers will find, however, that getting the last yak does not come cheap. The $10,000 price tag is rather stiff, but it will enable the entombment entrepreneurs to rest in peace . . . and prosperity.

C. L. , September 1981
Late Faith

Late faith is unavailing. There’s little use accepting arks once the rain begins to fall. Death is such an instant storm that by the time you reach for an umbrella, you already need your water wings.

Calvin Miller, The Valiant Papers, p. 20
Late for Work

Hearken unto my voice, all of you, and learn from my misfortune. For I have dallied too long over “Good Morning America” and now I pay the price. Yea, verily, it is rush hour.

And though I falleth upon my steering wheel and weep most piteously, I goeth not forward upon the highway. And lo! There is wailing and gnashing of teeth, for clients do await me at the office, and my boss does curse my name most horribly.

And woe unto us all who do travel in the valley of the shadow of road construction. For verily, I am stopped near the Machine That Makes Pounding Noises For No Reason, and soon the pain in my head is as a spike through my temple.

I look around myself, and I seeth also the doom of others. For there are many children who frolic in back seats, and who do cry out with much noise as an angry multitude: “I am hungry,” “He’s sitting on my side!” “She is touching me!” and “Are we there yet? For pee we must, and mightily!”

Soon it comes to pass that I do howl and the hair of my flesh stands up. For my coffee has fallen into my lap, and there are many foul curses, and lo! I am most grievous sore. For unto my loins there is a great desolation.

And after having suffered these trials and tribulations, I arrive at my company’s parking lot; but there are those who parketh crookedly, and do taketh up two spaces with one car, for fear others will smite their doors. And there are those vehicles of an unnaturally large aspect that are puffed up and bear a multitude of bumper stickers. These cars are an abomination and a pestilence in my eyes, for they causeth me to park far from all mankind, out in the blasted wilderness. I must walk many leagues, with my briefcase heavy upon me, and the lessons of this day burned into my soul and other parts with letters of fire.

When at last I reach my office, I fall upon my brother’s neck and weep with joy. For I know that at the end of the day, I shall not wander about as a sheep who has not a shepherd. My car will not be lost in the wilderness and hidden unto me, because by the time I am freed from my great travails, evening rush hour will be long over, and mine will be the only car left in the parking lot.

Bruce Carlson, Funny Times (November ‘95), Cleveland Heights, Ohio, Quoted in Reader’s Digest
Late For Work

A new employee had been caught coming in late for work three times and the fourth morning the foreman decided to read him the riot act. “Look here,” he snapped, “don’t you know what time we start work around here?”

“No, sir,” said the man, “they’re always working when I get here.”

Source unknown
Late to Choir Practice

Believers in Christ have God as a shield between them and the world’s threatening dangers. No harm can come to them unless the Lord permits it for their own good or the good of others. Many Christians testify that they have been providentially protected in unusual ways.

Paul Tan, in his Encyclopedia of 7700 Illustrations, says that on the evening of March 1, 1950, choir practice was scheduled in a local church in Beatrice, Nebraska. When the pastor and his wife and daughter were ready to leave for the 7:30 meeting, they discovered that the little girl had soiled her dress and needed to be changed. So they had to come late. A high school sophomore named Ladona had trouble with her geometry problems and stayed to finish her work, even though she usually got there early. Two sisters were delayed because their car wouldn’t start. Mrs. Schuster normally arrived at 7:20, but that night her mother needed her, so she had to stop there first. One man took a nap and overslept. And so, one after another, the members were detained for various reasons. At 7:25, due to leaking gas, the church blew up! When everyone arrived a short time later, they were amazed to see how their lives had been spared. The fact that all of them failed to come on time—something that had never happened before—had to be more than coincidence. As far as they were concerned, the Lord had been their shield and protector.

Admittedly, this was an unusual occurrence. But it does comfort us to know that whatever happens, we are secure in the protective arms of God’s providence. -H.G.B.

Our Daily Bread, Sunday, February 3.
Late Wedding Gift

Five years after a couple was married, they received their final wedding gift -- an ice-cream maker. In an attempt to cover procrastination with humor, the friend who sent it included a note: “I wanted to make sure the marriage would last.”

The bride who received the gift thought the present deserved a thank-you note anyway, which she dutifully sent five years later. Her note read: “I wanted to be sure the ice-cream maker would last.”

Good, Clean Funnies List, 1/23/2003
Later, but Lost

There is a story that Satan once had a conference in order to devise some effective method to harm the Lord's work on earth. One demon suggested, "Let us go down and persuade men that there is no God." This, however, was rejected by the majority of the demons and by the archdemon, Satan, who stated that it was impossible for any intelligent man not to believe in the existence of God. How could they persuade men of the non-existence of God when they themselves believed that there is a God? Another demon proposed that they should tell the people that Jesus Christ never really existed. This also was rejected since historical facts are historical facts, and Jesus Christ as a historical figure could not be denied. Then another demon suggested that they persuade everyone that death ended it all and that they should not worry about life after death. But this also was rejected because man would conclude that God must be a fool to have created man for this earth only. Finally the most intelligent of the demons got up and said, "I'll tell you what we'll do. We'll go down and tell everybody to believe that there is a God, that belief in Jesus Christ saves, but you can get by just by professing faith and go on living in sin as you used to." Immediately this proposal was unanimously acclaimed, and ever since, the demons, Satan's agents, have been telling people to believe, but to live the way they want.

Anonymous
Laughing at Self

Happy is the person who can laugh at himself. He will never cease to be amused. - Habib Bourguiba

Source unknown
Laughs Per Day

Average number of laughs a person has in a day = 17

Source: What Counts: The Complete Harper’s Index, edited by Charis Conn
Laughter as Medicine

In The Anatomy of an Illness: As Perceived by the Patient, Norman Cousins tells of being hospitalized with a rare, crippling disease. When he was diagnosed as incurable, Cousins checked out of the hospital. Aware of the harmful effects that negative emotions can have on the body, Cousins reasoned the reverse was true. So he borrowed a movie projector and prescribed his own treatment, consisting of Marx Brothers films and old “Candid Camera” reruns. It didn’t take long for him to discover that 10 minutes of laughter provided two hours of painfree sleep.

Amazingly, his debilitating disease was eventually reversed. After the account of his victory appeared in the New England Journal of Medicine, Cousins received more than 3000 letters from appreciative physicians throughout the world.

Today in the Word, MBI, 12-18-91
Laughter The Best Medicine

In The Anatomy of an Illness: As Perceived by the Patient, Norman Cousins tells of being hospitalized with a rare, crippling disease. When he was diagnosed as incurable, Cousins checked out of the hospital. Aware of the harmful effects that negative emotions can have on the body, Cousins reasoned the reverse was true. So he borrowed a movie projector and prescribed his own treatment, consisting of Marx Brothers films and old “Candid Camera” reruns.

It didn’t take long for him to discover that 10 minutes of laughter provided two hours of pain-free sleep. Amazingly, his debilitating disease was eventually reversed. After the account of his victory appeared in the New England Journal of Medicine, Cousins received more than 3000 letters from appreciative physicians throughout the world.

Today in the Word, Moody Bible Institute, 12-18-91
Law Like a Brush Fire

A duck hunter was with a friend in the wide-open land of southeastern Georgia. Far away on the horizon he noticed a cloud of smoke. Soon he could hear crackling as the wind shifted. He realized the terrible truth; a brushfire was advancing, so fast they couldn’t outrun it.

Rifling through his pockets, he soon found what he was looking for—a book of matches. He lit a small fire around the two of them. Soon they were standing in a circle of blackened earth, waiting for the fire to come.

They didn’t have to wait long. They covered their mouths with handkerchiefs and braced themselves. The fire came near—and swept over them. But they were completely unhurt, untouched. Fire would not pass where fire already had passed.

The law is like a brushfire. I cannot escape it. But if I stand in the burned-over place, not a hair of my head will be singed. Christ’s death has disarmed it.

Adapted from Who Will Deliver Us? by Paul F. M. Zahl
Law of Distribution

Marxist Law of Distribution of Wealth: Shortages will be divided equally among the peasants.

J. Gustafson, source unknown
Lawnmower Derbies

Lawnmower derbies. Devon, Penn., is where you’ll find the home of this exclusive event. Kids forced to mow lawns struck out against the tedium by organizing speed contests. They set up various classes to equalize the competition among the various sizes and types of mowers. Each year, at the starting signal, operators dash to their mowers, start them and pilot the spluttering machines full speed down a paved street lined with cheering spectators.

Source unknown
Laws

1. In Lexington, Ky., there is an ordinance forbidding anyone to carry an ice-cream cone in his pocket.

2. In Waterloo, Nebr., barbers are forbidden to eat onions between seven a.m. and seven p.m.

3. In the Commonwealth of Massachusetts it is against the law to eat peanuts in church or to use tomatoes in making clam chowder.

4. In Kansas an old law states that you cannot eat snakes on Sunday or rattlesnake meat in public.

5. In Los Angeles you cannot bathe two babies in the same tub at the same time.

6. In Zion, Ill., it is illegal for anyone to give lighted cigars to dogs, cats and other domesticated animals kept as pets.

7. In Carmel, N.Y., a man can’t go outside while wearing a jacket and pants that do not match.

8. In Gary, Ind., persons are prohibited from attending a movie house or other theater and from riding a public streetcar within four hours of eating garlic.

9. In Hartford, Conn., you aren’t allowed to cross a street while walking on your hands.

10. In Baltimore, its illegal to take a lion to the movies.

11. In Nicholas County, W. Va., no member of the clergy is allowed to tell jokes or humorous stories from the pulpit during a church service.

12. In Carrizozo, N.M., it’s forbidden for a female to appear unshaven in public (includes legs and face).

13. In New Jersey a person can be arrested for slurping soup in a public restaurant.

14. A citizen may not carry a lunch pail on the public streets in Riverside, Calif.

15. In Oklahoma you cannot take a bite of another person’s hamburger.

16. In Green, N.Y., you cannot eat peanuts and walk backwards on the sidewalks while a concert is on.

17. In Houston, Tex., the law stipulates that you cannot buy rye bread, goose liver or limburger cheese on Sunday, and if you do, you cannot take it out.

18. A Lynn, Mass., ordinance states babies may not be given coffee to drink.

19. In Winona Lake, Ind., it is illegal to eat ice cream at a counter on Sunday.

20. It is against the law for Nebraska tavern owners to sell beer unless they have a kettle of soup brewing.

21. According to an old Detroit law, banana peels are not to be thrown in the streets for fear of injury to horses.

22. In Connecticut pickles which, when dropped 12 inches, collapse in their own juice are illegal. They must remain whole and even bounce.

23. In Gary, Ind., it is against the law to ride any streetcar or attend any theatre within four hours after eating garlic.

24. In Corvallis, Oreg., young ladies are not allowed to drink coffee after six o’clock in the evening.

25. In Lehigh Nebr. it is against the law to sell doughnut holes.

26. In Richmond, Va., it is illegal to match coins in public restaurants to see who pays for the coffee.

27. In Baltimore, Md., “Only pure unadulterated, unsophisticated and wholesome milk” may be sold.

Campus Life, March, 1973
Laws of Household Physics

Ever notice that the laws of household physics are every bit as real as all other laws of the universe? Here are a few examples:

1. A child’s eagerness to assist in any project varies in inverse proportion to his ability to actually do the work involved.

2. Leftovers always expand to fill all available containers plus one.

3. A newly-washed window gathers dirt at double the speed of an unwashed window.

4. The availability of a ballpoint pen in inversely proportional to how badly it is needed.

5. The same clutter that will fill a one-car garage will fill a two-car garage.

6. Three children plus two cookies equals a fight.

7. The potential for disaster is in direct proportion to the number of TV remote-controls divided by the number of viewers.

8. The number of doors left open varies inversely with the outdoor temperature.

9. The capacity of any hot-water heater is equal to one and one-half sibling showers.

10. What goes up must come down, except bubble gum and slightly used Rice Krispies.

Jo Houser Haring, Notes on the Refrigerator Door (Tincup Press), quoted in Reader’s Digest
Laws of Probability

The French Mathematician, Lecompte de Nouy, examined the laws of probability for a single molecule of high dissymmetry to be formed by the action of chance. De Nouy found that, on an average, the time needed to form one such molecule of our terrestrial globe would be about 10 to the 253 power billions of years.

“But,” continued de Nouy ironically, “let us admit that no matter how small the chance it could happen, one molecule could be created by such astronomical odds of chance. However, one molecule is of no use. Hundreds of millions of identical ones are necessary. Thus we either admit the miracle or doubt the absolute truth of science.”

Quoted in; “Is Science Moving Toward Belief in God?” Paul A. Fisher, The Wanderer, (Nov 7, 1985), cited in Kingdoms In Conflict, C. Colson, p. 66
Lawyer-Client Privilege

One of the most famous trials in history was that of Benjamin Francois Courvoisier in London in 1840, who is now immortalized in Madame Tussaud’s Wax Museum. Courvoisier was a Swiss valet accused of slicing the throat of his elderly employer, Lord William Russell. What made this trial notorious was the argument for the defense. The police had bungled the investigation. The evidence against Courvoisier was entirely circumstantial or had been planted. One of the officers had perjured himself, and the maid’s testimony brought suspicion on herself. The defense attorney, Charles Phillips, was convinced of the innocence of Courvoisier and cross-examined witnesses aggressively.

At the beginning of the second day of the trial, however, Courvoisier confessed privately to his lawyer that he had committed the murder. When asked if he were going to plead guilty, he replied to Charles Phillips, “No, sir, I expect you to defend me to the utmost.”

Phillips was faced with a dilemma. Should he declare to the court that the man was guilty, or should he defend Courvoisier as best he could? Should he break the confidentiality of the client-lawyer relationship, or should he help a guilty man to possibly go free? Which is more important—truth or professional duty?

Phillips decided to defend the guilty man. But despite Phillips’s efforts, Courvoisier was convicted. When the dilemma was later made public, Phillips’s decision to defend a murderer horrified British society and brought him a great deal of criticism.

Between Two Truths: Living with Biblical Tensions, Klyne Snodgrass, 1990, Zondervan Publishing House, pp. 11-12
Lawyers

Lloyd Lewis, a biographer of Gen. Ulysses S. Grant, weaves a tale of a chill, wintry evening when the general came quietly into a tavern in Galena, Ill. A group of lawyers was sitting in a tight circle around the stove, discussing an important case. One of them noticed Grant and commented, “Why, here’s a stranger, gentlemen, and it looks as though he’s traveled through hell itself.”

“I have, “ Grant agreed. The lawyer chuckled and asked, “How did you find things down there?”

“Much the same as here” admitted Grant. “Lawyers all nearest the fire.”

Reader’s Digest, May, 1980
Layers of Self

"Man is like an onion," said A. T. Pierson, "layer after layer, and each a layer of self in some form. Strip off self-righteousness and you will come to self-trust. Get beneath this and you will come to self-seeking and self-pleasing. Even when we think these are abandoned, self-will betrays its presence. When this is stripped off, we come to self-defense, just as the Corinthians did-the word of the puffed up-and last of all, self-glory. When this seems to be abandoned, the heart of the human onion discloses pride that boasts of being truly humble."

Anonymous
Laypople Witnessing

A few years ago it was estimated to require one thousand laypersons and six ministers one year to lead one person to Christ. It was also estimated that 95 percent of the Christians today never lead a soul to Christ. This is the reversal of Jesus’ strategy of New Testament evangelism. These trends must change if our world is to be reached, and evidences are that they are changing.

It is encouraging to read what George Barna’s research has shown. “Interpersonal evangelism is alive and evident. During the past year, more than 60 million adults (one-third of the adult population) claim to have shared their religious beliefs in hope that the recipient might accept Jesus Christ as personal Savior. The people who share their faith with nonbelievers do so often. On average, lay evangelists share with one person every month.”

The hope of reaching our world with the gospel is to harness the tremendous resources available to the church. Every church has an army of laypeople with a potential witnessing power to penetrate its community.

Darrell W. Robinson, Total Church Life, (Broadman & Holman Publishers, Nashville; 1997), pp. 174-175
Laziness

One pastor never prepared during the week, and on Sunday morning he’d sit on the platform while the church was singing the hymns desperately praying, “Lord, give your message, Lord give me your message.” One Sunday, while desperately praying for God’s message, he heard the Lord say, “Ralph, here’s my message. You’re lazy!”

Source unknown
Lazy Preacher

One pastor never prepared during the week, and on Sunday morning he’d sit on the platform while the church was singing the hymns desperately praying, “Lord, give your message, Lord give me your message.” One Sunday, while desperately praying for God’s message, he heard the Lord say, “Ralph, here’s my message. You’re lazy!”

Source unknown
Le Corcodile

Rene Lacoste, the world’s top tennis player in the late 1920s, won seven major singles titles during his career, including multiple victories at Wimbledon, the US Open, and the French Open. His friends called him “Le Crocodile,” an apt term for his tenacious play on the court.

Lacoste accepted the nickname and had a tiny crocodile embroidered on his tennis blazers. When he added it to a line of shirts he designed, the symbol caught on. While thousands of people around the world wore “alligator shirts,” the emblem always had a deeper significance for Lacoste’s friends who knew its origin and meaning.

The cross, an emblem of Christianity, holds special meaning for every friend of Christ. Whenever we see a cross, it speaks to us of Christ’s tenacious determination to do His Father’s will by dying for us on Calvary. What a privilege to know Him and be included in His words to His disciples: “No longer do I call you servants,...but I have called you friends” (Jn. 15:15).

I can picture a friend of Lacoste seeing the little alligator on someone’s shirt, and saying, “I know the story behind that emblem. Lacoste is my friend.” And I can picture a friend of Jesus seeing a cross and doing the same. - DCM

Our Daily Bread, Sept.-Nov. 1997, page for October 5
Lead Others

Actually, a manager needs the ability not only to make good decisions himself, but also to lead others to make good decisions. Charles Moore, after four years of research at the United Parcel Service reached the following conclusions:

1. Good decisions take a lot of time.

2. Good decisions combine the efforts of a number of people.

3. Good decisions give individuals the freedom to dissent.

4. Good decisions are reached without any pressure from the top to reach an artificial consensus.

5. Good decisions are based on the participation of those responsible for implementing them.*

Source unknown
Leaders Take Risks

No one ever stubs his or her toe while standing still. Franklin D. Roosevelt once said, “It is common sense to take a method and try it. If it fails, admit it frankly. But above all, try something!” Failing to try because of a desire to be secure results in inaction and failure to lead.

John Henry Jowett, a great English preacher, likewise pointed out the temptation of self-preservation and its result in faithless lives:

It is possible to evade a multitude of sorrows through the cultivation of an insignificant life. Indeed, if a man’s ambition is to avoid the troubles of life, the recipe is simple: shed your ambitions in every direction, cut the wings of every soaring purpose, and seek a life with the fewest contacts and relations. If you want to get through the world with the smallest trouble, you must reduce yourself to the smallest compass. Tiny souls can dodge through life; bigger souls are blocked on every side. As soon as a man begins to enlarge his life, his resistances are multiplied. Let a man remove his petty selfish purposes and enthrone Christ, and his sufferings will be increased on every side (emphasis mine).

Leading the Way by Paul Borthwick, Navpress, 1989, p. 86
Leadership

It’s those stately geese I find especially impressive. Winging their way to a warmer climate, they often cover thousands of miles before reaching their destination. Have you ever studied why they fly as they do? It is fascinating to read what has been discovered about their flight pattern as well as their in-flight habits. Four come to mind.

Those in front rotate their leadership. When one lead goose gets tired, it changes places with one in the wing of the V-formation and another flies point.

By flying as they do, the members of the flock create an upward air current for one another. Each flap of the wings literally creates an uplift for the bird immediately following. One author states that by flying in a V-formation, the whole flock gets 71 percent greater flying range than if each goose flew on its own.

When one goose gets sick or wounded, two fall out of formation with it and follow it down to help and protect it. They stay with the struggler until it’s able to fly again.

The geese in the rear of the formation are the ones who do the honking. I suppose it’s their way of announcing that they’re following and that all is well. For sure, the repeated honks encourage those in front to stay at it. As I think about all this, one lesson stands out above all others: it is the natural instinct of geese to work together. Whether it’s rotating, flapping, helping, or simply honking, the flock is in it together...which enables them to accomplish what they set out to do.

Chuck Swindoll, letter, October, 1991
Leadership by Example

When Gen. George C. Marshall took command of the Infantry School at Fort Benning, GA, he found the post in a generally run-down condition. Rather than issue orders for specific improvements, he simply got out his own paintbrushes, lawn equipment, etc., and went to work on his personal quarters. The other officers and men, first on his block, then throughout the post, did the same thing, and Fort Benning was brightened up.

Source unknown
Leadership of Firstborns

Firstborns gravitate toward positions of leadership because that was their position in the family. When there’s a family crisis, everyone tends to depend on the firstborn. They are perfectionists. They excel in structured occupations and prefer orderly lives. They’re reliable, conscientious, punctual, and goal-oriented, and they love to make lists. The male firstborn is likely to be a calculating, controlling type who keeps his feelings to himself. He becomes an architect, an engineer, an accountant, a writer. Paradoxically, firstborns are more creative than laterborns. Show me a really good artist, and I’ll show you a firstborn.

Dr. Kevin Leman, in Homemade, November, 1987
Leading Causes of Death

Among U.S. college students, the two leading causes of death are auto accidents and suicide, in that order. Dr. Vincent D’ Andrea—a Stanford University psychiatrist who has organized suicide hotlines, peer counselors and dormitory advisers to prevent suicides—says 15 out of every 100,000 students do away with themselves each year. About one in 10 suicide attempts succeeds. Though 90% of all attempts are made by women aged 20-30, those who succeed are usually men.

Parade Magazine, Oct. 23, 1983
Leading Cultural Indicators

Last year I compiled the Index of Leading Cultural Indicators, a statistical portrait of American behavioral trends of the past three decades. Among the findings: Since 1960, while the gross domestic product has nearly tripled, violent crime has increased at least 560%. Divorces have more than doubled. The percentage of children in single-parent homes had tripled. And by the end of the decade 40% of all American births and 80% of minority births will occur out of wedlock. These are not good things to get used to.

In 1940 teachers identified the top problems in America’s schools as: talking out of turn, chewing gum, making noise and running in the hall. In 1990, teachers listed drugs, alcohol, pregnancy, suicide, rape and assault. These are not good things to get used to, either.

There is a coarseness, a callousness and a cynicism to our era. The worst of it has to do with our children. Our culture seems almost dedicated to the corruption of the young.

We have become inured to the cultural rot that is setting in. People are losing their capacity for shock, disgust and outrage...

The ancients called our problem acedia, an aversion to spiritual things and an undue concern for the external and the worldly. Acedia also is the seventh capital sin—sloth—but it does not mean mere laziness. The slothful heart is stepped in the worldly and carnal, hates the spiritual and wants to be free of its demands.

When the novelist Walker Percy was asked what concerned him most about America’s future, he answered, “Probably the fear of seeing America, with all its great strength and beauty and freedom...gradually subside into decay through default and be defeated, not by the communist movement, but from within, from weariness, boredom, cynicism, greed and in the end helplessness before its great problems.”

I realize this is a tough indictment. If my diagnosis is wrong, then why, amid our economic prosperity and military security, do almost 70% of the public say we are off track? I submit that only when we turn to the right things—enduring, noble, spiritual things—will life get better.

Most important, we must return religion to its proper place. Religion provides us with moral bearings, and the solution to our chief problem of spiritual impoverishment depends on spiritual renewal. The surrendering of strong beliefs, in our private and public lives, has demoralized society.

Today, much of society ridicules and mocks those who are serious about their faith. America’s only respectable form of bigotry is bigotry against religious people. And the only reason for hatred of religion is that it forces us to confront matters many would prefer to ignore.

Today we must carry on a new struggle for the country we love. We must push hard against an age that is pushing hard against us. If we have full employment and greater economic growth—if we have cities of gold and alabaster—but our children have not learned how to walk in goodness, justice and mercy, then the American experiment, no matter how gilded, will have failed.

Do not surrender. Get mad. Get in the fight.

Excerpts from What Really Ails America, condensed from a speech by William J. Bennett, delivered Dec. 7, 1993, at the Heritage Foundation, Washington, D.C., reprinted in Reader’s Digest, April, 1994.
Leading Poet

For many years Sir Walter Scott was the leading literary figure in the British Empire. No one could write as well as he. Then the works of Lord Byron began to appear, and their greatness was immediately evident. Soon an anonymous critic praised his poems in a London Paper. He declared that in the presence of these brilliant works of poetic genius, Scott could no longer be onsidered the leading poet of England. It was later discovered that the unnamed reviewer had been none other than Sir Walter Scott himself!

Source Unknown
Leaky Roof

In 1937 architect Frank Lloyd Wright built a house for industrialist Hibbard Johnson. One rainy evening Johnson was entertaining distinguished guests for dinner when the roof began to leak. The water seeped through directly above Johnson himself, dripping steadily onto his bald head. Irate, he called Wright in Phoenix, Arizona. “Frank,” he said, “you built this beautiful house for me and we enjoy it very much. But I have told you the roof leaks, and right now I am with some friends and distinguished guests and it is leaking right on top of my head.”

Wright’s reply was heard by all of the guests. “Well, Hib, why don’t you move your chair?”

Today in the Word, Moody Bible Institute, Jan, 1992, p.14
Leaning Tower of Pisa

The Leaning Tower of Pisa in Italy is going to fall. Scientists travel yearly to measure the building’s slow descent. They report that the 179-foot tower moves about one-twentieth of an inch a year, and is now 17 feet out of plumb. They further estimate that by the year 2007 the 810-year old tower will have leaned too far and will collapse onto the nearby ristorante, where scientists now gather to discuss their findings.

Quite significantly, the word “pisa” means “marshy land,” which gives some clue as to why the tower began to lean even before it was completed. Also—its foundation is only 10 feet deep!

Source unknown
Learn from the Goats

Two goats met one another upon a narrow plank set up across a river, so that they could not pass by without one thrusting the other off. If they were human beings they would argue who had the right to survive. But the goats figured it all out, how one could help the other and, at the same time, help itself. One lay down, and let the other leap over it.

Anonymous
Learn from the Past

Do not say, “Why were the former days better than these?” You do not move ahead by constantly looking in a rear view mirror. The past is a rudder to guide you, not an anchor to drag you. We must learn from the past but not live in the past.

Dr. Warren W. Wiersbe
Learn the Word as You Would Your Trade

Remember the wise words of Richard Baxter to the people of Kidderminster: “Where you but as willing to get the knowledge of God and heavenly things as you are to know how to work in your trade, you would have set yourself to it before this day, and you would have spared no cost or pains till you had got it. But you account seven years little enough to learn your trade and will not bestow one day in seven in diligent learning the matters of your salvation.’

John R. W. Stott, The Preacher’s Portrait, Some New Testament Word Studies, (Grand Rapids: Wm. B. Eerdmans Publ. Co., 1961), p. 27
Learned How To Make Money, But Not Live

In 1928 a group of the world’s most successful financiers met at the Edgewater Beach Hotel in Chicago. The following were present: The president of the largest utility company, The greatest wheat speculator, The president of the New York Stock Exchange, A member of the President’s Cabinet, The greatest “bear” in Wall Street, The president of the Bank of International Settlements, The head of the world’s greatest monopoly. Collectively, these tycoons controlled more wealth than there was in the U.S. Treasury, and for years newspapers and magazines had been printing their success stories and urging the youth of the nation to follow their examples.

Twenty-five years later, this is what had happened to these men. The president of the largest independent steel company, Charles Schwab, lived on borrowed money the last five years of his life and died broke. The greatest wheat speculator, Arthur Cutten, died abroad, insolvent. The president of the New York Stock Exchange, Richard Whitney, served a term in Sing Sing Prison. The member of the President’s Cabinet, Albert Fall, was pardoned from prison so he could die at home. The greatest “bear” in Wall Street, Jesse Livermore, committed suicide. The president of the Bank of International Settlements, Leon Fraser, committed suicide. The head of the world’s greatest monopoly, Ivar Drueger, committed suicide. All of these men had learned how to make money, but not one of them had learned how to live.

Source unknown
Learning

Learning usually passes through three states:

1. In the beginning you learn the right answers.

2. In the second state you learn the right questions.

3. In the third and final stage you learn which questions are worth asking.

Bits & Pieces, April 2, 1992
Learning and Recall

Do you feel as if you’re a million years behind in one or more of your classes? Do you have trouble recalling anything when you hear the word “test”? You might do better if you tried a few simple learning techniques.

When you study, what position are you in? Research shows lying down is the poorest position for learning. Sitting up is much better. Standing while learning is better still. And walking while learning is best of all, provided you’re in familiar territory and don’t stumble over anything. And if you are firmly gripping something while in any of these positions, they you increase the level of learning for that position. So the best position would be to walk while gripping your book.

Another tip is to study in the place where you will have to recall the material. Studies show that environmental cues help trigger our memories.

It’s so important, whenever possible, to sleep following your study. Unless you are very fatigued, you’ll find it best to study at night and review in the morning. Sleep improves retention greatly because the brain has time to consolidate the material without added interference. So if you are studying for a lot of tests, it would be good for you to take a nap several times a day.

When you’re studying a series of subjects, one right after another, make sure the subjects are dissimilar. If you finish studying Spanish, don’t switch right to English.

Students who have recall problems on tests should check their diets—it’s recommended they cut out all sugar and make sure they’re getting enough vitamins. You won’t believe the difference it makes in your grades.

We have two memory processes in our brain. Our short-term memory is designed to handle details we need for a brief time, but don’t want to clutter our minds with forever. Facts we want to remember indefinitely are processed in the area of the brain set aside for long-term memory.

To send material to the long-term segment of the brain, repetition and drill are very important. If you review any given bit of information for as long as 60 minutes, even over the course of a few days, that material will register almost indefinitely.

If you had two hours to spend in studying a subject, should you do it in one sitting or should you break up the time into 10-, 15- or 20-minute segments? Breaking up the time will improve your learning efficiency.

There are a couple of additional tips that may help you. First, in serial learning, where you have a long list or a whole chapter to master, the first part will be easiest to remember and the last is the next easiest. So if you wan to remember everything equally well, spend a little extra time on the part just past the middle. The last little trick involves “chunking.” The average brain has the capacity for holding seven bits of information at any given instant for immediate recall. Knowing this fact, you can make things easier by dividing up a chapter into five parts and then divide each of those parts into five, and so on. You should be able to amass a greater amount of material in a far shorter time—and be able to recall it. -

Elden M. Chalmers, Campus Life, December, 1979
Learning How to Choose

A father who had three sons wanted to teach them a lesson in discretion. He gave each of them an apple that had some part of it rotten.

The first ate his apple, rotten and all. The second threw all of his away because some of it was rotten. The third picked out the rotten part and ate the good part.

No one is perfect in this world. Shall we reject all of them because they have some imperfection? The thing that we need the most is the spirit of discretion in choosing that which is good in everybody.

Anonymous
Learning Through Afflictions

Contrary to what might be expected, I look back on experiences that at the time seemed especially desolating and painful with particular satisfaction. Indeed, I can say with complete truthfulness that everything I have learned in my 75 years in this world, everything that has truly enhanced and enlightened my experience, has been through affliction and not through happiness.

Malcolm Muggeridge, in Homemade, July, 1990
Learning to Fly

When an eagle wants to teach its little ones to fly from the nest high upon a cliff, hundreds of feet up in the air, it prods one of the little eaglets and with its beak noses it out of the nest. The eaglet starts to fall, and the great eagle flies underneath, puts its wing out, catches the little one on its back and flies a mile into the air. When you can hardly see the eagle as a point in the sky, it turns sideways, and down falls the little eaglet, fluttering maybe a thousand feet. Meanwhile, the eagle circles around and underneath the eaglet; the eagle catches the eaglet on its wings and carries the eaglet up in the air again. After dishing the young one out again and letting it go, the eaglet comes down farther and farther-sometimes within a hundred feet of the ground. Again the great eagle catches the little one on its back and they go up another mile. The little eagle is at perfect rest, and little by little it will learn to fly. The eagle knows when the eaglet is tired; it spoons the eaglet into the nest, noses out the next one and starts off again.

God says, "That is the way I take care of you." But you may say, "I do not like to have my nest stirred up. I like everything cozy and tidy, and I just like to stay in my baby ways where I am." But God loves you. That is why He will not let you stay as a baby; He wants you to learn to fly. Sometimes you have to be carried aloft, and you may have a horror of having to go by yourself, but it must come if you are to grow.

Anonymous
Learning to Rule By Obedience

In the eleventh century, King Henry III of Bavaria grew tired of court life and the pressures of being a monarch. He made application to Prior Richard at as local monastery, asking to be accepted as a contemplative and spend the rest of his life in the monastery.

“Your Majesty,” said Prior Richard, “do you understand that the pledge here is one of obedience? That will be hard because you have been a king.”

“I understand,” said Henry, “The rest of my life I will be obedient to you, as Christ leads you.”

“Then I will tell you what to do,” said Prior Richard. “Go back to your throne and serve faithfully in the place where God has put you.”

When King Henry died, a statement was written: “The King learned to rule by being obedient.”

When we tire of our roles and responsibilities, it helps to remember God has planted us in a certain place and told us to be a good accountant or teacher or mother or father. Christ expects us to be faithful where he puts us, and when he returns, we’ll rule together with him.

Steve Brown
Learning to Trust

"Dear God, what am I supposed to do?" asked missionary Marge Elam. "I am so worried for my little girl. I am not able to hover over her to protect her."

"The night was warm and quite dark. I could hear several alligators not far from the house calling back and forth in their strange creaky way. Nightbirds, frogs and other night creatures added their sounds as a background to my prayer. I soundlessly left my bed and felt my way to the hammock where my eight-year-old slept.

"'Lord, she has to ride her bicycle alone two miles through the jungle to go to school. There are many wild things out there, and always snakes.'

"While looking down at the faint outline of my sleeping child with her small white face pillowed on her bent arm, a memory went across my mind. It was the other day: her eyes were large with excitement, her voice almost squeaked, 'Mom, it was the biggest, fattest snake. Its body stretched all the way across the road. I did not know what to do, so I just pulled up my legs and rode my bike over it.'"

"I could actually hear the thump of my own heart in the darkness. Then, I heard a voice. It almost seemed to come out of the darkness, but I knew it was inside of me. He said, 'I was able to take care of your daughter in the United States, and I am able to take care of her here as well.'After that, I was able to sleep the night through and every night since for 17 years. I knew that if He was able to take care of one eight-year-old girl, He was able to take care of everything else."

Anonymous
Leave Behind

Out of the life, I shall never take

Things of silver and gold I make

All that I cherish and hoard away

When I leave these things on earth must stay.

Though I failed for a painting rare

To hang on my wall, I must leave it there

Though I call it mine and boast its worth

I must give it up when I quit this earth

All that I gather and all that I keep

I must leave behind when I fall asleep

And I wonder often, what will I own

In that other life when I pass along.

What shall He find and what shall He see

In the soul that answers the call for me?

Will the Great Judge find when my task is through

That my soul has gathered some riches, too?

Or at the last it will be mine to find

That all I had worked for was left behind.

Author Unknown
Leave It to the Lord

The citizens of Feldkirch, Austria, didn’t know what to do. Napoleon’s massive army was preparing to attack. Soldiers had been spotted on the heights above the little town, which was situated on the Austrian border. A council of citizens was hastily summoned to decide whether they should try to defend themselves or display the white flag of surrender. It happened to be Easter Sunday, and the people had gathered in the local church. The pastor rose and said, “Friends, we have been counting on our own strength, and apparently that has failed. As this is the day of our Lord’s resurrection, let us just ring the bells, have our services as usual, and leave the matter in is hands. We know only our weakness, and not the power of God to defend us.” The council accepted his plan and the church bells rang. The enemy, hearing the sudden peal, concluded that the Austrian army had arrived during the night to defend the town. Before the service ended, the enemy broke camp and left.

Source unknown
Leave No-One Dead or Alive

The soldier’s first article of faith is summed up nowhere more eloquently than in an 1865 letter from William Tecumseh Sherman to U. S. Grant: “I knew wherever I was that you thought of me, and if I got in a tight place you would come—if alive.” This is the unwritten, unspoken but unbreakable contract of the battlefield: You will leave no one, dead or alive, in the hands of the enemy.

U.S. News and World Report, July 29, 1991, p. 5
Leave the Matter to the Lord

The citizens of Feldkirch, Austria, didn’t know what to do. Napoleon’s massive army was preparing to attack. Soldiers had been spotted on the heights above the little town, which was situated on the Austrian border. A council of citizens was hastily summoned to decide whether they should try to defend themselves or display the white flag of surrender. It happened to be Easter Sunday, and the people had gathered in the local church. The pastor rose and said, “Friends, we have been counting on our own strength, and apparently that has failed. As this is the day of our Lord’s resurrection, let us just ring the bells, have our services as usual, and leave the matter in His hands. We know only our weakness, and not the power of God to defend us.”

The council accepted his plan and the church bells rang. The enemy, hearing the sudden peal, concluded that the Austrian army had arrived during the night to defend the town. Before the service ended, the enemy broke camp and left.

Source unknown
Leaving the Ground

There is no such thing as partial commitment. When the pilot of a giant airliner is speeding down the runway, there is a certain point where he cannot decide to remain on the ground. When he crosses that line, he is committed to the air, or the plane crashes disastrously. That pilot cannot change his mind when the plane is two-thirds of the way down the runway.

Unfortunately, our churches are filled with members who "have never left the ground." They have been sitting there for years and years gunning their engines.

Anonymous
Lecture on Hell

On one occasion Col. Robert G. Ingersoll, the agnostic lecturer of the last century, was announced to give an address on hell. He declared he would prove conclusively that hell was a wild dream of some scheming theologians who invented it to terrify credulous people. As he was launching into his subject, a half-drunken man arose in the audience and exclaimed, “Make it strong, Bob. There’s a lot of us poor fellows depending on you. If you are wrong, we are all lost. So be sure you prove it clear and plain.”

No amount of reasoning can nullify God’s sure Word. He has spoken as plainly of a hell for the finally impenitent as of a heaven for those who are saved.

Illustrations of Bible Truth by H.A. Ironside, Moody Press, 1945, p. 40
Lee Iacocca

When you give a guy a raise, that’s the time to increase his responsibilities. Reward him at the same time you motivate him to do even more. Hit him with more while he’s up, and never be tough on him when he’s down.

When he’s upset over his own failure, you run the risk of hurting him badly and taking away his incentive to improve. As a mentor used to say, “If you want to give a man credit, put it in writing. If you want to give him hell, do it on the phone.

Lee Iacocca with William Novak, Iacocca: An Autobiography
Lee Trevino

Lee Trevino, winner of many professional golf tournaments, is not noted for a classic golf swing. “So long as the ball goes where you want it to,” says Trevino, “it don’t make any difference.”

Bits and Pieces, December, 1990
 
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