Pastoral Resources

"Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go" (Joshua 1:9 NIV).

It was Palm Sunday, 1987, when a dear woman was waiting for service to conclude and looking forward to an afternoon when the entire family would enjoy a rare day together As the final song was beginning to flow from the congregation, she knew something was wrong Pushing past the other family members, she made it as far as the outside steps It was Tuesday when she awoke and found herself in the hospital surrounded by her family and physician A visit to a neurologist was suggested.

The neurologist found an aneurysm in the major artery of the brain No symptoms: no headaches, no blurred vision, no motor problems-never been in better health Still young in years, still eating correctly, still exercising-yet within a touch of death She had two choices: 1) live with the knowledge of the aneurysm and hope for the best; or 2) have brain surgery.

How does someone handle news like this? How would you handle it? How did our friend handle it? Where is God at a time like this?

The tears came first, then the resolve to stay busy So she went back to work and did not tell anyone about it She discussed it only with family and a trusted physician Her decision-surgery She began to review life and wonder why, and at the same time, be thankful for what God had already provided.

Then the panic attack came Would the surgery leave her paralyzed, blind, or even dead? All were possible There were long talks with her husband far into the night-there was inability to sleep-it was real-it was happening and it was happening to her!

On one of those sleepless nights she walked downstairs, picked up her Bible, looked at a red ribbon imprinted with suggested topics: sorrow, worry, loneliness, courage -and picked courage The passage was Joshua 1:9, and the words jumped out at her: "Be strong and courageous Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the Lord Your God will be with you wherever you go." Tearing a piece of paper from a note pad, she copied the verse and clasped it in her hand The sense of panic then drained away.

The piece of paper remained with her during the days leading up to the day of the surgery Surgery day found her with no fear of the surgery or the future The piece of paper remained in her right hand as she was moved into the operating room The final exam by the attending nurses revealed the paper.

The piece of paper with the verse had served its purpose She told the nurse to throw it away But in her beautiful wisdom, the nurse responded, "I have to take it now; but when you wake up, you will find it taped to your palm."

Twenty-six hours later two smiling nurses appeared "Did you find your verse?" Slowly she opened her fist The tattered scrap was secured with surgical tape Reading it would not be possible for a long time, but the words are etched forever in her memory: "...for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go."

Only He can give us the courage to face life and death May we be moved to call upon His power and promises daily.

If the following story were not true, it would surely be unbelievable It is true, however, as you yourself will agree when you have read it.

There was once a great king His love for his people knew no limits Although the kingdom was very large, the king knew every person by name Everything the people of the kingdom had was a gift freely given by the loving king.

So, to show their love and appreciation to the king for all he had done for them, the people decided to have a great celebration to honor his birthday Everyone agreed it was a marvelous idea Preparations for the celebration were very elaborate No expense was spared by the people They adorned their homes with lights, decorations, and expensive ornaments There were parties, dinners, and celebrations throughout the kingdom.

All the people brought gifts for their friends and family Many of the gifts which the people gave each other were quite expensive, involving considerable indebtedness In fact, the people spent more on the birthday celebration than they spent at any other time of the year.

Many who were not citizens of the kingdom, and who did not even know the king, joined in the celebration Their celebration of the king's birth was marked by excessive drinking Since they did not know the king, they invented a good-natured, fat fellow in a red suit He laughed a lot, but never said anything But that didn't matter because they were too busy celebrating to listen anyhow.

The great day of celebrating his birth finally arrived, and some of his people did come bringing gifts and thanking him for his goodness to them But to his dismay, most of the citizens never came to his house at all on the day of celebration And the gifts brought to the king by those few who came were very meager when compared with the gifts they had given themselves.

For the most part the people said they had been so busy with all the celebrations and personal plans that they had forgotten about the king Several said they had thought of him, but really could not work it into their schedules or budgets to come see him or bring a gift A few were known to be quite put out when it was suggested that going to the king's house or remembering him with a gift was important.

Those people who did come to his house and who brought their loving gifts were welcomed and blessed by the king But when they had gone and he was alone again, the king fell to thinking of the vast numbers of his people who had forgotten and forsaken him How could they have forgotten? Had he not loved them all? How could so many of his beloved people who had found the time and money for shopping and feasting and partying and decorating and all sorts of celebrations-how could they possibly be so thoughtless, so ungrateful or selfish? Did they not know that he, too, had feelings? Was not the purpose of the birthday celebration originally planned to honor him?

When the king was alone, pondering these questions, he felt the tears well up in his eyes And in his loneliness, he wept.

One thought brought some hope and consolation Even though they had forgotten him, he had not forgotten them.

A secretary on the job is engulfed in problems Her husband left her; a son is in rebellion; she can barely make ends meet She cries out for help We don't hear.

A fellow employee is overwhelmed by the complexity of overcoming his chronic drinking problem He longs for a friend We're deaf to his cries.

The owner of the gas station where we've traded for years has just lost his wife His eyes echo his loneliness We don't see.

A wife would love to share with us the trauma and trivia of her day-just to have a listening ear Our ears are closed.

And as the "perfect" ending to such a self-centered day, we hurry to the church building and get our weekly door-knocking assignment as we hasten to engage a cold prospect in an ambiguous process which we have labeled evangelism.

Does that approach make sense? It seems to me it is time we acknowledged the fact that a good translation of the Great Commission has it reading: "As you are going into all the world...."

You see, we are in such a hurry to "go!" that we miss the very ones whom God brings into our path-"as we are going." May God awaken us to the realization that true evangelism is loving the world the way God loves it; allowing our hearts to be broken by the things that break God's heart; acknowledging that there is no dichotomy between "evangelism" and "benevolence"-that true evangelism begins with Matthew 10:42 : "And if anyone gives a cup of cold water to one of these little ones because he is my disciple, I tell you, he will certainly not lose his reward."

Several years ago a farmer increased his farm holding from 300 acres to 9,000 acres Everyone was proud of him and glad to see him prosper He had a lovely family-two boys and a girl, and one of the sweetest wives in the world He was a leader in the church and the family was very faithful Needless to say, he became very wealthy Life was good As the responsibilities of the farm increased, his involvement with the church decreased Over time the entire family became so involved with the farm and the wealth that they all became unfaithful and placed the church on low priority in their lives The father died and the children fought over the land, lost it, and spent all the inheritance Today, they have very little to do with each other and have gone through several difficult personal problems Their mother died in poverty and loneliness.

What good does it to do gain the whole world and yet lose your soul and those of your loved ones? What can the world give in place of the soul?

"Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go" (Jos 1:9 NIV).

It was Palm Sunday, 1987, when a dear woman was waiting for service to conclude and looking forward to an afternoon when the entire family would enjoy a rare day together. As the final song was beginning to flow from the congregation, she knew something was wrong. Pushing past the other family members, she made it as far as the outside steps. It was Tuesday when she awoke and found herself in the hospital surrounded by her family and physician. A visit to a neurologist was suggested.

The neurologist found an aneurysm in the major artery of the brain. No symptoms: no headaches, no blurred vision, no motor problems-never been in better health. Still young in years, still eating correctly, still exercising-yet within a touch of death. She had two choices: 1) live with the knowledge of the aneurysm and hope for the best; or 2) have brain surgery.

How does someone handle news like this? How would you handle it? How did our friend handle it? Where is God at a time like this?

The tears came first, then the resolve to stay busy. So she went back to work and did not tell anyone about it. She discussed it only with family and a trusted physician. Her decision-surgery. She began to review life and wonder why, and at the same time, be thankful for what God had already provided.

Then the panic attack came. Would the surgery leave her paralyzed, blind, or even dead? All were possible. There were long talks with her husband far into the night-there was inability to sleep-it was real-it was happening and it was happening to her!

On one of those sleepless nights she walked downstairs, picked up her Bible, looked at a red ribbon imprinted with suggested topics: sorrow, worry, loneliness, courage -and picked courage. The passage was Jos 1:9, and the words jumped out at her: "Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the Lord Your God will be with you wherever you go." Tearing a piece of paper from a note pad, she copied the verse and clasped it in her hand. The sense of panic then drained away.

The piece of paper remained with her during the days leading up to the day of the surgery. Surgery day found her with no fear of the surgery or the future. The piece of paper remained in her right hand as she was moved into the operating room. The final exam by the attending nurses revealed the paper.

The piece of paper with the verse had served its purpose. She told the nurse to throw it away. But in her beautiful wisdom, the nurse responded, "I have to take it now; but when you wake up, you will find it taped to your palm."

Twenty-six hours later two smiling nurses appeared. "Did you find your verse?" Slowly she opened her fist. The tattered scrap was secured with surgical tape. Reading it would not be possible for a long time, but the words are etched forever in her memory: "...for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go."

Only He can give us the courage to face life and death. May we be moved to call upon His power and promises daily.

If the following story were not true, it would surely be unbelievable. It is true, however, as you yourself will agree when you have read it.

There was once a great king. His love for his people knew no limits. Although the kingdom was very large, the king knew every person by name. Everything the people of the kingdom had was a gift freely given by the loving king.

So, to show their love and appreciation to the king for all he had done for them, the people decided to have a great celebration to honor his birthday. Everyone agreed it was a marvelous idea. Preparations for the celebration were very elaborate. No expense was spared by the people. They adorned their homes with lights, decorations, and expensive ornaments. There were parties, dinners, and celebrations throughout the kingdom.

All the people brought gifts for their friends and family. Many of the gifts which the people gave each other were quite expensive, involving considerable indebtedness. In fact, the people spent more on the birthday celebration than they spent at any other time of the year.

Many who were not citizens of the kingdom, and who did not even know the king, joined in the celebration. Their celebration of the king's birth was marked by excessive drinking. Since they did not know the king, they invented a good-natured, fat fellow in a red suit. He laughed a lot, but never said anything. But that didn't matter because they were too busy celebrating to listen anyhow.

The great day of celebrating his birth finally arrived, and some of his people did come bringing gifts and thanking him for his goodness to them. But to his dismay, most of the citizens never came to his house at all on the day of celebration. And the gifts brought to the king by those few who came were very meager when compared with the gifts they had given themselves.

For the most part the people said they had been so busy with all the celebrations and personal plans that they had forgotten about the king. Several said they had thought of him, but really could not work it into their schedules or budgets to come see him or bring a gift. A few were known to be quite put out when it was suggested that going to the king's house or remembering him with a gift was important.

Those people who did come to his house and who brought their loving gifts were welcomed and blessed by the king. But when they had gone and he was alone again, the king fell to thinking of the vast numbers of his people who had forgotten and forsaken him. How could they have forgotten? Had he not loved them all? How could so many of his beloved people who had found the time and money for shopping and feasting and partying and decorating and all sorts of celebrations-how could they possibly be so thoughtless, so ungrateful or selfish? Did they not know that he, too, had feelings? Was not the purpose of the birthday celebration originally planned to honor him?

When the king was alone, pondering these questions, he felt the tears well up in his eyes. And in his loneliness, he wept.

One thought brought some hope and consolation. Even though they had forgotten him, he had not forgotten them.

Burns provides fascinating evidence that, on strictly pragmatic grounds, perfectionism is an enemy of excellence. He cites a study of insurance salesmen, which revealed that perfectionists who linked self-worth to achievement earned an average of $15,000 a year less than the nonperfectionist control group.

A report on Olympic qualifiers among male gymnasts was similar. “The researchers found that the elite group tended to underemphasize the importance of past performance failures, while the athletes who failed to qualify were more likely through mental images of self-doubt and impending tragedy.”

He also reports that perfectionism is allied with impaired productivity, emotional disturbances, impaired health, loneliness, and disturbed personal relationships. The root of the problem is imbedded in dichotomous, all-or-nothing thought patterns. The perfectionist is trapped in a “saint-or-sinner” syndrome, which sees partial success as total failure. Self-esteem is contingent on outstanding achievement and total competence.

1) Low self-esteem,

2) Monotony and loneliness,

3) Stress from too many demands

4) Lack of time with husband,

5) Confusion about discipline,

6) Home atmosphere,

7) Need for outside role models,

8) Training of children.

1. What is salvation? Salvation is deliverance from the penalty, pollution, and power of sin. It is eternally more important than being saved from fire, social embarrassment, illness, poverty, or loneliness.

2. What is sin? Sin is any thought, word, or deed that either violates or falls short of complete conformity to God’s holy laws (Rom. 3:23).

3. What has God done about it? He became a member of the human race in the person of Jesus Christ, lived sinlessly to fulfill God’s righteous demands, died on the cross to bear the penalty for our sins, and rose from the grave to break the power of death and defeat Satan. The Bible states, “God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us” (Rom. 5:8).

4. For whom did Christ die? Christ died for people who have nothing to offer Him but brokenness and need. He died for people who have fallen far short of their original purpose to know Him, to glorify Him, and enjoy Him forever (Jn. 1:1-12; 3:16-19).

5. How do we receive salvation? Salvation is freely given to all who believe in Jesus. Neither zealous commitment to good works nor careful observance of religious ritual play a part in obtaining salvation. Salvation is not found in our efforts but in trusting what God has done for us. All He requires is that we personally place our trust in Christ. All who sincerely want to be saved and who accept the invitation to believe in Christ will never be turned away. Jesus said, “He who believes in Me has everlasting life” (Jn. 6:47).

In his book Facing Loneliness, J. Oswald Sanders writes, “The round of pleasure or the amassing of wealth are but vain attempts to escape from the persistent ache.… The millionaire is usually a lonely man and the comedian is often more unhappy than his audience.”

Sanders goes on the emphasize that being successful often fails to produce satisfaction. Then he refers to Henry Martyn, a distinguished scholar, as an example of what he is talking about. Martyn, a Cambridge University student, was honored at only 20 years of age for his achievements in mathematics. In fact, he was given the highest recognition possible in that field. And yet he felt an emptiness inside. He said that instead of finding fulfillment in his achievements, he had “only grasped a shadow.”

After evaluating his life’s goals, Martyn sailed to India as a missionary at the age of 24. When he arrived, he prayed, “Lord, let me burn out for You.” In the next 7 years that preceded his death, he translated the New Testament into three difficult Eastern languages. These notable achievements were certainly not passing “shadows.”

Light after darkness, gain after loss;

Strength after weakness, crown after cross;

Sweet after bitter, hope after fears;

Home after wandering, praise after tears;

Sheaves after sowing, sun after rain;

Sight after mystery, peace after pain;

Joy after sorrow, calm after blast;

Rest after weariness, sweet rest at last;

Near after distant, gleam after gloom;

Love after loneliness, life after tomb;

After long agony, rapture of bliss;

Right was the pathway, leading to this.

In his book Facing Loneliness, J. Oswald Sanders writes, “The round of pleasure or the amassing of wealth are but vain attempts to escape from the persistent ache...The millionaire is usually a lonely man and the comedian is often more unhappy than his audience.”

Sanders goes on the emphasize that being successful often fails to produce satisfaction. Then he refers to Henry Martyn, a distinguished scholar, as an example of what he is talking about. Martyn, a Cambridge University student, was honored at only20 years of age for his achievements in mathematics. In fact, he was given the highest recognition possible in that field. And yet he felt an emptiness inside. He said that instead of finding fulfillment in his achievements, he had “only grasped a shadow.”

After evaluating his life’s goals, Martyn sailed to India as a missionary at the age of 24. When he arrived, he prayed, “Lord, let me burn out for You.” In the next 7 years that preceded his death, he translated the New Testament into three difficult Eastern languages. These notable achievements were certainly not passing “shadows.”

One of God’s faithful missionaries, Allen Gardiner, experienced many physical difficulties and hardships throughout his service to the Savior. Despite his troubles, he said, “While God gives me strength, failure will not daunt me.”

In 1851, at the age of 57, he died of disease and starvation while serving on Picton Island at the southern tip of South America. When his body was found, his diary lay nearby. It bore the record of hunger, thirst, wounds, and loneliness. The last entry in his little book showed the struggle of his shaking hand as he tried to write legibly. It read, “I am overwhelmed with a sense of the goodness of God.”

Old age is dreaded by almost everyone because it usually means loneliness, physical decline, and a retreat to inactivity. Some people tend to lose their enthusiasm for life and spend too much time in fruitless reminiscing and self-pity. They feel like “Old Jimmy,” an elderly gentleman George Mueller often told about. When this man was asked what he did all day since he had retired, he replied, “I just sit and think, and sit and think,...and sometimes I just sit!”

That’s getting old in the worst way -- ceasing to live before we die. History records that many people made some of their greatest contributions to society after the age of 65.

The Earl of Halsburg, for example, was 90 when he began preparing a 20-volume revision of English law.

Goethe wrote Faust at 82.

Galileo made his greatest discovery when he was 73. At 69.

Hudson Taylor was still vigorously working on the mission field, opening up new territories in Indochina.

And when Caleb was 85, he took the stronghold of the giants (Josh. 14:10-15).

God never intends for us to retire from spiritual activity. The Bible says we can “still bring forth fruit in old age.” Even as Jesus kept the “best wine” for the last at the wedding in Cana (John 2:10), so He seeks to gather the most luscious clusters of the fruit of the Spirit from the fully ripened harvest of our lives.

You may be sure God wouldn’t keep you on this earth if He didn’t have a worthwhile ministry for you to accomplish. So keep on serving the Lord!--H.G.B.

In his book Facing Loneliness, J. Oswald Sanders writes, “The round of pleasure or the amassing of wealth are but vain attempts to escape from the persistent ache...The millionaire is usually a lonely man and the comedian is often more unhappy than his audience.”

Sanders goes on the emphasize that being successful often fails to produce satisfaction. Then he refers to Henry Martyn, a distinguished scholar, as an example of what he is talking about.

Martyn, a Cambridge University student, was honored at only 20 years of age for his achievements in mathematics. In fact, he was given the highest recognition possible in that field. And yet he felt an emptiness inside. He said that instead of finding fulfillment in his achievements, he had “only grasped a shadow.”

After evaluating his life’s goals, Martyn sailed to India as a missionary at the age of 24. When he arrived, he prayed, “Lord, let me burn out for You.” In the next 7 years that preceded his death, he translated the New Testament into three difficult Eastern languages. These notable achievements were certainly not passing “shadows.”

Several years ago a farmer increased his farm holding from 300 acres to 9,000 acres. Everyone was proud of him and glad to see him prosper. He had a lovely family-two boys and a girl, and one of the sweetest wives in the world. He was a leader in the church and the family was very faithful. Needless to say, he became very wealthy. Life was good. As the responsibilities of the farm increased, his involvement with the church decreased. Over time the entire family became so involved with the farm and the wealth that they all became unfaithful and placed the church on low priority in their lives. The father died and the children fought over the land, lost it, and spent all the inheritance. Today, they have very little to do with each other and have gone through several difficult personal problems. Their mother died in poverty and loneliness.

What good does it to do gain the whole world and yet lose your soul and those of your loved ones? What can the world give in place of the soul?

About halfway through (a PBS program on the Library of Congress), Dr. Daniel Boorstin, the Librarian of Congress, brought out a little blue box from a small closet that once held the library’s rarities. The label on the box read: CONTENTS OF THE PRESIDENT’S POCKETS ON THE NIGHT OF APRIL 14, 1865.

Since that was the fateful night Abraham Lincoln was assassinated, every viewer’s attention was seized. Boorstin then proceeded to remove the items in the small container and display them on camera. There were five things in the box:

A handkerchief, embroidered “A. Lincoln”

A country boy’s pen knife

A spectacles case repaired with string

A purse containing a $5 bill—Confederate money(!)

Some old and worn newspaper clippings

“The clippings,” said Boorstin, “were concerned with the great deeds of Abraham Lincoln. And one of them actually reports a speech by John Bright which says that Abraham Lincoln is “one of the greatest men of all times.” Today that’s common knowledge.

The world now knows that British statesman John Bright was right in his assessment of Lincoln, but in 1865 millions shared quite a contrary opinion. The President’s critics were fierce and many. His was a lonely agony that reflected the suffering and turmoil of his country ripped to shreds by hatred and a cruel, costly war. There is something touchingly pathetic in the mental picture of this great leader seeking solace and self-assurance from a few old newspaper clippings as he reads them under the flickering flame of a candle all alone in the Oval Office.

Remember this: Loneliness stalks where the buck stops.

Loneliness is a growing problem in our society. A study by the American Council of Life Insurance reported that the most lonely group in America are college students. That’s surprising! Next on the list are divorced people, welfare recipients, single mothers, rural students, housewives, and the elderly.

To point out how lonely people can be, Charles Swindoll mentioned an ad in a Kansas newspaper. It read, “I will listen to you talk for 30 minutes without comment for $5.”

Swindoll said, “Sounds like a hoax, doesn’t it? But the person was serious. Did anybody call? You bet. It wasn’t long before this individual was receiving 10 to 20 calls a day. The pain of loneliness was so sharp that some were willing to try anything for a half hour of companionship”

About halfway through (a PBS program on the Library of Congress), Dr. Daniel Boorstin, the Librarian of Congress, brought out a little blue box from a small closet that once held the library’s rarities. The label on the box read: CONTENTS OF THE PRESIDENT’S POCKETS ON THE NIGHT OF APRIL 14, 1865. Since that was the fateful night Abraham Lincoln was assassinated, every viewer’s attention was seized. Boorstin then proceeded to remove the items in the small container and display them on camera. There were five things in the box:

A handkerchief, embroidered “A. Lincoln”

A country boy’s pen knife

A spectacles case repaired with string

A purse containing a $5 bill—Confederate money(!)

Some old and worn newspaper clippings

“The clippings,” said Boorstin, “were concerned with the great deeds of Abraham Lincoln. And one of them actually reports a speech by John Bright which says that Abraham Lincoln is “one of the greatest men of all times.”

Today that’s common knowledge. The world now knows that British statesman John Bright was right in his assessment of Lincoln, but in 1865 millions shared quite a contrary opinion. The President’s critics were fierce and many. His was a lonely agony that reflected the suffering and turmoil of his country ripped to shreds by hatred and a cruel, costly war. There is something touchingly pathetic in the mental picture of this great leader seeking solace and self-assurance from a few old newspaper clippings as he reads them under the flickering flame of a candle all alone in the Oval Office.

Remember this: Loneliness stalks where the buck stops.

Children will turn out well if they have “good” parents. Parents are a vital factor in a child’s development, but they are only one influence among many, including school, the media and a child’s peer group. The goal of parents is to teach strong values and reinforce positive behaviors in the hope that their children will use them in their own lives. But there are no guarantees. One of the most important things you, as parents, can do, is to insure that you have a strong marriage and are setting a good example for your children.

Children improve a marriage. Rearing children is a team effort. The bond between partners can intensify as a couple raises children together. But, children also tend to put enormous strain on an intimate relationship.

Couples without children are frustrated and unhappy. Most couples without children are very happy and content. However, many of them do have close relationships with children of extended family members or friends.

Having only one child is too few. Although many believe that only children are spoiled and selfish, that’s not necessarily true. Studies show that there can be advantages and disadvantages to this. One child is less expensive and demanding on parents, and typically receives more attention. However, parents may focus too much attention on the child or overprotect them, and only children may experience loneliness.

Children appreciate the sacrifices their parents make and the advantages they provide. Most parents want appreciation for the sacrifices they make for their kids. Unfortunately, children often take their parents for granted until they get on their own. Parents need to focus on the everyday pleasures and satisfactions of raising their children and appreciate the small thanks they get along the way.

Parenthood receives top priority in our society. Unfortunately, making money, not parenting, receives top priority in our society. Parents are pressured to put their jobs first in order to get promotions, and in some cases, just to remain employed.

Love is all it takes to be a good parent. Love helps parents put up with the many difficulties they encounter in child rearing, but success also requires hard work and sound parenting skills.

Parents alone should rear their young. Parents are ultimately responsible for raising their children. But, it’s helpful to have extended family and friends for support. Society has a stake in the outcome and will benefit from supporting parents through this challenging process.