Verse-by-Verse Bible Commentary
Proverbs 25:22

Clarke's Commentary

Verse Proverbs 25:22. Thou shalt heap coals of fire upon his head — Not to consume, but to melt him into kindness; a metaphor taken from smelting metallic ores: -

So artists melt the sullen ore of lead,

By heaping coals of fire upon its head:

In the kind warmth the metal learns to glow,

And pure from dross the silver runs below.

S. WESLEY.

Bridgeway Bible Commentary

25:1-29:27 MORE PROVERBS OF SOLOMON

Relations with others (25:1-28)

God has no obligation to explain to anyone the reasons for his actions. A king, however, has a duty to his people to investigate the causes of events that affect them, though he need not reveal to them his deepest thoughts (25:1-3). Some advisers to the king may be ungodly or treacherous, and should be removed if the king is to rule righteously (4-5). It is better to wait to be invited to a higher rank than to be boastfully ambitious and then lose face when demoted (6-7).
A warning is given against being too hasty in making an accusation against someone. A private talk with the accused person may reveal that the accuser did not have all the facts. It may also save the accuser the shame of being disproved in court and thereby receiving the unwelcome reputation of being a talebearer who cannot be trusted (8-10). Words fittingly spoken, even in reproof, benefit the hearers, as cool water refreshes farmers working in the hot sun. Idle boasting, on the other hand, helps no one (11-14). Quiet words are often more effective than brute force (15).
Without self-control in eating, people can harm their health. Without self-control in visiting their neighbours, they can make themselves unpopular (16-17). Among the neighbourhood nuisances are those who make false accusations, those who let down friends in times of need, and those who are flippant when among mourners (18-20). People who suffer unjustly, instead of reacting in bitterness, should treat the wrongdoers as friends. This may make the wrongdoers so ashamed that they will change their ways (21-22).
Those who are bitter, argumentative, critical, or otherwise negative in their words can cause much damage, but when people bring good news they bring refreshment (23-25). When people give in to what they know is wrong, use flattery, seek praise, or lack self-control, they demonstrate their weakness of character (26-28).

Coffman's Commentaries on the Bible

"If thine enemy be hungry, give him bread to eat; And if he be thirsty, give him water to drink: For thou shalt heap coals of fire upon his head, And Jehovah will reward thee."

The teaching here is adopted almost word for word in Romans 12:20. "Heaping coals of fire upon the head of an enemy" is a metaphor referring to the pangs of conscience that an enemy will experience upon receiving such undeserved treatment.

Illustration: In our rural community, where this writer grew up, a married couple were experiencing serious problems. A preacher, serving as a counselor, asked the woman, "Have you tried heaping coals of fire upon his head"? She said, "No, but I tried a skillet of hot grease"!

Barnes' Notes on the Whole Bible

A precept reproduced by Paul Romans 12:20; the second clause of which seems at first sight to suggest a motive incompatible with a true charity. Leviticus 16:12 suggests an explanation. The high priest on the Day of Atonement was to take his censer, to fill it with “coals of fire,” and then to put the incense thereon for a sweet-smelling savor. So it is here. The first emotion in another caused by the good done to him may be one of burning shame, but the shame will do its work and the heart also will burn, and prayer and confession and thanksgiving will rise as incense to the throne of God. Thus, “we shall overcome evil with good.”

Smith's Bible Commentary

Chapter 25

Now in chapter 25. These proverbs were gathered by Hezekiah when he became king, and they were added to the books of proverbs by Hezekiah's scribes. During the period of Hezekiah's reign, it was a period of national revival. Prior to Hezekiah, the kingdom had reached a low point. As Hezekiah began to reign, there was a real spiritual revival, and it was a national movement among the people. And as is true in all spiritual revivals, there is an interest, a concern and a returning to the Word of God. Where you see people really interested in the Word of God, you know that there is a revival that is happening, because a revival always brings a renewed interest in the Word of God. And so Hezekiah's scribes began to search for the Word of God, search for the scriptures. And they found these proverbs and they added them to the book of Pro 25:1 explains it all.

These are also proverbs of Solomon, which the men of Hezekiah king of Judah copied ( Proverbs 25:1 ).

So they found these and they copied them and added them to the book of Proverbs, proverbs of Solomon.

It is the glory of God to conceal a thing: but the honor of kings is to search out a matter ( Proverbs 25:2 ).

How much God has concealed of His own wisdom and understanding and power and might. The secrets of the universe concealed by God. Yet the honor of the king is to search out a matter.

The heaven for height, the earth for depth, and the heart of the king is unsearchable ( Proverbs 25:3 ).

Four and five stand together.

Take away the dross from the silver, and there shall come forth a vessel for the finer. Take away the wicked from before the king, and his throne shall be established in righteousness ( Proverbs 25:4-5 ).

So the removal of the dross. Now we know that the day is coming when God is going to test our works by fire and the dross to be purged as we stand before the King. And He will establish then His kingdom in righteousness. All of the dross will be taken away.

Put not forth thyself in the presence of a king, and stand not in the place of great men: For better it is that it be said unto thee, Come up hither; than you should be put in the lower in the presence of the prince whom thine eyes have seen ( Proverbs 25:6-7 ).

Now this was referred to tonight by Hal, and Jesus said, "When you're bidden to come to a feast, don't go and take the most honorable table and the honorable chair. Sit in a lesser place. It's much, much better to have the host come and say to you, 'Oh, come up and sit up here,' rather than to be sitting in the place of prominence and the host come up and say, 'Hey, buddy, you're in the wrong place. Get down there, you know.'" So Jesus really is more or less taking from Solomon. "Better it be said unto thee, 'Come up hither,' than you should be put in the lower place in the presence of the prince."

Don't be in a hurry, don't go out quickly to strive, lest you know not what to do in the end thereof, when your neighbor has put thee to shame. Debate thy cause with thy neighbor himself; and discover not a secret to another: Lest he that heareth it put thee to shame, and your infamy turn not away ( Proverbs 25:8-10 ).

Verse Proverbs 25:11 . Very picturesque.

A word that is fitly spoken is like apples of gold in pictures of silver ( Proverbs 25:11 ).

Now I don't know if that's Golden Delicious apples in a silver picture, but that would look awful good, you know. But a word fitly spoken. Some people have the gift of saying the right thing at the right time. You know, you can have a very explosive kind of a situation. Everybody is tense. And somebody with this gift just comes along and says the right thing and it just diffuses the whole thing. And you think, "Oh, you know." You're just expecting the whole thing to go and this word that is fitly spoken. How glorious it is. God grant to us this gift of saying the right thing at the right time.

Now, I don't know why it is that so many times, though we know the right thing to say, it's hard to say it. Now what kind of a perversity is that when I know to say the right thing and yet I have difficulty saying it? Now even with my own wife, I oftentimes have difficulty in saying to her what I know I should say. And I don't know why I have this difficulty. It's some kind of a block of the inability to say the right thing at the right time. There are so many times when we could change the whole atmosphere if we would just say the right thing. "A word fitly spoken." How glorious it is. And yet many times even when we know that word, we don't say it. Now that's no virtue. In fact, that's probably evil to let something simmer when you, by a word fitly spoken, could stop it. Dumb perversity of our own hearts, I don't know. But God loves me and I like that. But I get so angry with myself sometimes because I know what I should do but I don't.

An earring of gold, and an ornament of fine gold, so is a wise reprover to an obedient ear. As the cold of snow in the time of harvest, so is the faithful messenger to them that send him: for he refreshes the soul of his masters. Whoso boasteth himself of a false gift is like clouds and wind without rain. And by long forbearing is a prince persuaded, and a soft tongue breaketh the bone. Have you found honey? eat as much as is sufficient for thee, lest you be filled, and vomit it ( Proverbs 25:12-16 ).

Here's an interesting one.

Withdraw thy foot from thy neighbor's house; lest he be weary of thee, and so hate thee ( Proverbs 25:17 ).

You know, you just sit there and sit there and sit there, and they've got things that they want to do and you're not moving. "Withdraw thy foot from thy neighbor's house."

A man that bears false witness against his neighbor is a maul, a sword, and a sharp arrow. Confidence in an unfaithful man in the time of trouble is like a broken tooth, or a foot out of joint. He that takes away a garment in cold weather, and as vinegar upon nitre, so is he that sings songs to a heavy heart ( Proverbs 25:18-20 ).

You ever put vinegar in... what is it we used to pour vinegar in? Baking soda, right. You know it. "Vinegar upon nitre, so is he that sings songs to a person with a heavy heart."

If your enemy is hungry, give him bread to eat ( Proverbs 25:21 );

Paul quotes this in Romans, chapter 12, or not chapter 12. Yes, Proverbs 12:15 . "If your enemy is hungry, give him bread to eat" ( Romans 12:20 ).

and if he is thirsty, give him water to drink: For thou shalt heap coals of fire upon his head, and the LORD shall reward thee ( Proverbs 25:21-22 ).

Now what does that mean? I am certain that the heaping of the coals of fire is not a bad thing. There's probably something that has to do with their customs that would give you a better understanding of what it means to heap coals of fire upon their head. But it doesn't mean to really crown them with hell, you know. Some have suggested that it will cause them to burn with shame. In other words, if your enemy is hungry and you feed him, if he is thirsty and you give him a drink, you cause him to burn with shame. The Lord will reward you. My motive for doing it shouldn't be that I really heap coals of fire upon his head, you see. My motive in doing it should be really kind and generous.

The north wind drives away the rain: so does an angry countenance a backbiting tongue ( Proverbs 25:23 ).

Someone is backbiting, just give them a dirty look. It'll stop them. Angry countenance a backbiting tongue, drives it away.

It is better to dwell in the corner of the housetop, than with a brawling woman in a wide house ( Proverbs 25:24 ).

Now we already dealt with that one, but these men who were scribes copied it. They evidently got a kick out of that one.

As cold waters to a thirsty soul, so is good news from a far country. A righteous man falling down before the wicked is as a troubled fountain, and a corrupt spring. It is not good to eat much honey: so for men to search their own glory is not glory ( Proverbs 25:25-27 ).

And then the last one.

He that has no rule over his own spirit is like a city that is broken down, without walls ( Proverbs 25:28 ).

A man that has no rule over his own spirit. A man who is always losing his temper. He's like a defenseless city, a city that is broken down, without walls. Oh God, help us to rule over our own spirits. "

Dr. Constable's Expository Notes

1. Wise and foolish conduct 25:2-28

Dr. Constable's Expository Notes

Clearly the point of this proverb is to return good for evil (cf. Matthew 5:40-46; Romans 12:20). Such conduct will bring blessing from God and remorse to the evildoer. Still, what does "heaping burning coals on the head" of the abuser mean? Evidently this clause alludes to an ancient custom. When a person’s fire went out at home, he or she would go to a neighbor and get some live coals to rekindle the fire. Carrying the coals in a pan on the head involved some danger and discomfort for the person carrying them, but they were an evidence of the neighbor’s love. Likewise, the person who receives good in return for evil feels somewhat uncomfortable even though he receives a good gift. His discomfort arises over his guilt for having wronged his neighbor in the first place. So returning good for evil not only secures the blessing of God (Proverbs 25:22 b), it also convicts the wrongdoer of his ways (Proverbs 25:22 a) in a gentle way.

Gill's Exposition of the Whole Bible

For thou shall heap coals of fire upon his head,.... Not to increase his punishment and damnation, the more aggravated by kindness shown him; but to bring him by such means to a sense of former injuries, and to shame for them, repentance of them, and love of the person injured, and carefulness for the future of doing him any further wrong;

and the Lord shall reward thee: with good things, for all the good done to thine enemy, whether it has the desired effect on him or not; or whether he rewards thee or not; see Romans 12:20.

Henry's Complete Commentary on the Bible

      21 If thine enemy be hungry, give him bread to eat; and if he be thirsty, give him water to drink:   22 For thou shalt heap coals of fire upon his head, and the LORD shall reward thee.

      By this it appears that, however the scribes and Pharisees had corrupted the law, not only the commandment of loving our brethren, but even that of loving our enemies, was not only a new, but also an old commandment, an Old-Testament commandment, though our Saviour has given it to us with the new enforcement of his own great example in loving us when we were enemies. Observe, 1. How we must express our love to our enemies by the real offices of kindness, even those that are expensive to ourselves and most acceptable to them: "If they be hungry and thirsty, instead of pleasing thyself with their distress and contriving how to cut off supplies from them, relieve them, as Elisha did the Syrians that came to apprehend him," 2 Kings 6:22. 2. What encouragement we have to do so. (1.) It will be a likely means to win upon them, and bring them over to be reconciled to us; we shall mollify them as the refiner melts the metal in the crucible, not only by putting it over the fire, but by heaping coals of fire upon it. The way to turn an enemy into a friend is, to act towards him in a friendly manner. If it do not gain him, it will aggravate his sin and punishment, and heap the burning coals of God's wrath upon his head, as rejoicing in his calamity may be an occasion of God's turning his wrath from him, Proverbs 24:17; Proverbs 24:17. (2.) However, we shall be no losers by our self-denial: "Whether he relent towards thee or no, the Lord shall reward thee; he shall forgive thee who thus showest thyself to be of a forgiving spirit. He shall provide for thee when thou art in distress (though thou hast been evil and ungrateful), as thou dost for thy enemy; at least it shall be recompensed in the resurrection of the just, when kindnesses done to our enemies shall be remembered as well as those shown to God's friends."