Verse-by-Verse Bible Commentary
Proverbs 23:13

Bridgeway Bible Commentary

Social-climbers and others (23:1-35)

Those who seek status like to mix with the upper classes and try to copy their habits. But because of their ignorance of how to eat fine foods, they make fools of themselves and so spoil their chances of progressing up the social ladder. The food they desire becomes the means of their downfall (23:1-3). The desire for wealth can lead to disappointment (4-5), and the efforts to win the favour of others may win only their disfavour. This may particularly be the case when the wealthy are miserly; for they may be thinking all the time of how much it is costing them to entertain those who seek their favour (6-8).
Trying to teach wisdom to fools is a waste of time (9). Exploitation of the poor is dangerous, for God is their protector (10-11). If people are keen to learn wisdom, and just as keen to train their children likewise, they will have deep satisfaction (12-16).
When the wicked prosper, the righteous should not envy them, but realize that God in his time will punish evil and reward good (17-18). Those who cannot control their eating and drinking habits only create trouble for themselves (19-21). Children should respect their parents. If from an early age they are taught the value of goodness and wisdom, they will bring joy to their parents in later life (22-25). Prostitution leads not only to personal ruin but also to social decay (26-28).
Among the fruits of drunkenness are sorrow, trouble, physical injury and bad health (29-30). Drinking may be enjoyable, but when drunkenness results, the person’s stomach, eyesight, mind, speech and ability to walk are all badly affected (31-34). Yet the drunkard declares that he suffers no ill effects from drink, and boasts that he is looking forward to more (35).

Coffman's Commentaries on the Bible

Word 11.

"Withhold not correction from the child; And, if thou beat him with the rod, he will not die. Thou shalt beat him with the rod, And shall deliver his soul from Sheol."

If there had been any doubt about God's commanding his followers to discipline their sons and daughters, this passage would have removed it. The two verses here are parallel; and that clarifies the meaning of Proverbs 23:13. At first glance, it might seem that the parent is to beat his son within in an inch of death; but, "This does not mean that the scourging will not kill him," but it means that, "If you chastise him you will save him from the doom of the rebellious son (Deuteronomy 31:18-21)."The Pulpit Commentary, Vol. 9, Proverbs, p. 442. The following rendition obscures the true meaning:

"Do not hesitate to discipline a youth; Though you beat him with a stick, he will not die; Indeed you should beat him with a stick, And so save his life from Sheol."The Anchor Bible (Garden City, New York: Doubleday and Company, 1982).

Barnes' Notes on the Whole Bible

i. e., “You will not kill your son by scourging him, you may kill him by with holding the scourge.”

Proverbs 23:14

Hell - Sheol, the world of the dead.

Smith's Bible Commentary

Chapter 23

Now the next three verses are coupled together.

When you sit to eat with a ruler, consider diligently what is before thee: And put a knife to your throat, if you be a man given to appetite. Be not desirous of his dainties: for they are deceitful meat ( Proverbs 23:1-3 ).

So you don't go in and start scarfing up the hors d'oeuvres, you know. All of these dainty little fancy things, you know, and you go in and just start woofing them down. And never any way you're going to fill up on hors d'oeuvres. So when you sit with the ruler, just consider diligently what's put before you. And if you're given to appetite, better to just take your knife, put it to your throat. Don't be desirous of those little dainties. Keep your hands off. They're deceitful.

Labor not to be rich: cease from your own wisdom ( Proverbs 23:4 ).

The Bible says, "If riches increase... " Now it says, "Labor not." Don't let that be a goal of life. But, "If riches increase, set not your heart upon them" ( Psalms 62:10 ). God may see fit to increase riches. Just don't let your heart get set on them.

Wilt thou set thine eyes upon that which is not? for riches certainly make themselves wings; they fly away as an eagle toward heaven ( Proverbs 23:5 ).

The next three verses are coupled together.

Eat not the bread of him that hath an evil eye ( Proverbs 23:6 ),

Now, this isn't referring to the old superstition that there are some people that have an evil eye, that they can look on you with that evil eye and put a hex on you. It's almost humorous to watch the preliminaries of some of these boxing matches where they have these guys over in the corner, you know, to put the evil eye on the other boxer, and you see them trying to put this evil eye and hex, and you see the boxer deliberately avoiding, won't look and see that evil eye. But this is not at all a reference to some kind of a power that a person has to put a hex on you with an evil eye.

Actually, it is just referring to a person whose mind is evil, to an evil person. "Eat not the bread of him who is evil."

neither desire his dainty meats: For as he thinks in his heart, so is he ( Proverbs 23:6-7 ):

If he is thinking this evil in his heart, then he's an evil person.

Eat and drink, he says to you; but his heart is not with you. The morsel which you have eaten you will vomit up, and lose thy sweet words. Speak not in the ears of a fool: for he will despise the wisdom of your words ( Proverbs 23:7-9 ).

And again, we had in the last chapter.

Remove not the old landmark; and enter not into the fields of the fatherless: For their Redeemer is mighty; and he shall plead their cause with thee ( Proverbs 23:10-11 ).

In other words, God will take up the cause of the widow or of the orphan, of the poor. If you're a widow, if you're an orphan, you're poor, you got a fantastic ally. God will take up your cause.

Apply thine heart unto instruction, thine ears to the words of knowledge. And withhold not correction from the child: for if you beat him with the rod, he shall not die ( Proverbs 23:12-13 ).

You'll get arrested.

Thou shalt beat him with the rod, and shalt deliver his soul from hell ( Proverbs 23:14 ).

Now, as we mentioned this morning, "Train up a child in the way he should go." In the Hebrew literally is, "Train up a child according to his way." That is, recognize that there is a vast difference in the character, in the personalities of children. And there are some children where spanking is excellent discipline. There are other kids you can beat all day and it's not going to do any good. So learning that children have different temperaments, you're training then is according to their temperament. "Train up a child according to his way." And there's no sense of wailing on a kid that doesn't do any good. Find another form of discipline. You can find an effective form of discipline. Maybe the depravation of certain privileges or desires that the child has is an excellent form of discipline for particular children. But I don't advocate child beating, and neither do I believe that the scriptures advocate that. But for some kids, a good wailing once in a while isn't a bad idea.

As I said, several years ago I knew much more about raising children than I do now. In our first pastorate, small little church, sort of a one-room church, and for Sunday school we just had curtains to divide off the auditorium into the classrooms. It wasn't an ideal situation at all. In fact, it was a very difficult situation, especially because the lady who was teaching the high school class had a little girl that she never disciplined. And a child left to itself will bring reproach to its parents. And because this little girl was never disciplined, she would just start screaming, and because we were all in the same room only divided by curtains, it would disrupt the whole Sunday school. And, of course, I was very young and very new to pastoring, and I didn't have any children so I had all the answers for raising children and everything else.

So the second Sunday that we were in this church and the same procedure started again as this mother started to teach the class, her little girl started screaming and yelling. I went up to her and graciously offered to take her little girl for a walk. I would never do it now. But I spanked that little gal when I got her outside. Got her about a block away and then I applied some psychology where I thought it would do the most good. It worked. I don't advocate it, but it worked. I'll tell you, from then on whenever that little girl would start to scream, I'd look at her and she'd go.

Several years ago, I was directing a summer camp in Arizona and this nice looking young lady about eighteen years old came up to me and said, "Do you know who I am?" And I looked at her and I said, "Well, no, I don't." She said, and she gave me her name, and I said, "Oh, no." She grew up to be a very lovely young lady. I don't know that my spanking had anything to do with that, but I'd like to think that it did.

These next few are coupled together.

My son, if your heart is wise, my heart shall rejoice. Yes, my reins shall rejoice, when your lips speak right things ( Proverbs 23:15-16 ).

Now the reins are really the kidneys. And they felt that the deepest emotions of a person are not really felt in your heart, Valentine's Day notwithstanding, but the deepest emotions of a person are felt down in the stomach region. When you really feel an emotion extremely deep, you feel it in the region of the stomach. That's why in the New Testament you have "bowels of compassion" ( 1 John 3:17 ). As the deepest area of feeling is way down and we say, "I had a gut-level feeling, you know." And we're trying to describe a feeling that is more than just an emotional moment. But where I feel something very deeply. So here is the father talking to his son. "My heart will rejoice. Yea, even deeper than that. If you're a wise son and you speak wise things and right things, down in the deepest area I rejoice."

Let not your heart envy sinners: but reverence the LORD all day long. For surely there is an end; and your expectation shall not be cut off. Hear thou, my son, and be wise, and guide your heart in the way ( Proverbs 23:17-19 ).

Again, there is an end. Look down the road. Consider the end result. There is an end to all things. That is, of this life, and then I'm going to stand before God. So consider that.

Be not among winebibbers; among riotous eaters of meat: For the drunkard and the glutton shall come to poverty: and drowsiness shall clothe a man with rags. Hearken unto your father that begat thee, and despise not your mother when she is old. Buy the truth, and sell it not; also wisdom, and instruction, and understanding. The father of the righteous shall greatly rejoice: and he that begets a wise child shall have the joy of him. Thy father and thy mother shall be glad, and she that bore thee shall rejoice. My son, give me your heart, let your eyes observe my ways. For a whore is a deep ditch; and a strange woman is a narrow pit. She also lies in wait as for a prey, and increases the transgressors among men ( Proverbs 23:20-28 ).

Now this next portion is all together to the end of the chapter and it's just extremely interesting.

Who has woe? who has sorrow? who has contentions? who has babblings? who has wounds without cause? who has redness of eyes? They that tarry long at the wine; they that go to seek mixed wine. Look not thou upon the wine when it is red, when it giveth his color in the cup, or when it moveth itself aright ( Proverbs 23:29-31 ).

Or when it moves by itself. Some believe that this is talking of the fermentation process. And after the fermentation has taken place, then you should avoid it. In other words, they did have non-fermented types of wines. And once the wine moves of itself in the cup, the fermentation process, then leave it alone.

For at the last it bites like a serpent, and stings like an adder. [As the result] Your eyes will behold strange women ( Proverbs 23:32-33 ),

You will lose your inhibitions.

your heart shall utter perverse things ( Proverbs 23:33 ).

Things that you would not normally say. Things that you would not normally do. But now that you're under the influence, your inhibitions have been loosed, you're going to do all kinds of weird and stupid things.

Yea, thou shalt be as he that lies down in the middle of the sea ( Proverbs 23:34 ),

Doing just really dumb things.

or as one who lies on the top of a mast. They have stricken me, you will say, and I was not sick; they have beaten me, but I didn't feel it ( Proverbs 23:34-35 ):

You'll wake up with all the bruises and cuts and you don't know how you've got them.

when shall I awake? ( Proverbs 23:35 )

And then what happens?

I'll go right back and seek it yet again ( Proverbs 23:35 ).

The tragic effects of alcoholism described quite graphically here in Proverbs.

"

Dr. Constable's Expository Notes

The sage again advocated discipline. Beating with a rod is not the only form of discipline advocated in Proverbs. It is simply one form used here as a poetic parallel to discipline (Heb. musar, moral correction). Other forms of discipline (reproof, temporary isolation, "grounding," etc.) may be more appropriate in some situations with children of differing ages and temperaments. These verses assure the parent that the child will not only survive the discipline, but he or she will survive because of it.

"The idea is that discipline helps the child to live a full life; if he dies (prematurely), it would be a consequence of not being trained. In Proverbs such a death might be moral and social as well as physical." [Note: Ross, p. 1070.]

"Severe discipline is not cruel, but to withhold it from callous youth is. . . . However, the cleansing rod must be applied with warmth, affection, and respect for the youth. Warmth and affection, not steely discipline, characterize the father’s lectures (cf. Proverbs 4:1-9). Parents who brutalize their children cannot hide behind the rod doctrine of Proverbs." [Note: Waltke, The Book . . . 31, p. 252.]

Gill's Exposition of the Whole Bible

Withhold not correction from the child,.... When he has committed a fault, and correction is necessary; for to spare it is the ruin of the child, and no proof of true affection in the parent, but the reverse; see Proverbs 13:24;

for, [if] thou beatest him with a rod, he shall not die; if he be beaten moderately, there is no danger of his dying under the rod, or with the stripes given him; besides, such moderate and proper corrections may be a means of preserving him from such crimes as would bring him to a shameful and untimely death, and so he shall not die such a death; and by such means, through the grace of God, he may escape the second, or eternal death.

Henry's Complete Commentary on the Bible

      12 Apply thine heart unto instruction, and thine ears to the words of knowledge.   13 Withhold not correction from the child: for if thou beatest him with the rod, he shall not die.   14 Thou shalt beat him with the rod, and shalt deliver his soul from hell.   15 My son, if thine heart be wise, my heart shall rejoice, even mine.   16 Yea, my reins shall rejoice, when thy lips speak right things.

      Here is, 1. A parent instructing his child. He is here brought in persuading him to give his mind to his book, and especially to the scriptures and his catechism, to attend to the words of knowledge, by which he might come to know his duty, and danger, and interest, and not to think it enough to give them the hearing, but to apply his heart to them, to delight in them, and bow his will to the authority of them. The heart is then applied to the instruction when the instruction is applied to the heart. 2. A parent correcting his child. A tender parent can scarcely find in his heart to do this; it goes much against the grain. But he finds it is necessary; it is his duty, and therefore he dares not withhold correction when there is occasion for it (spare the rod and spoil the child); he beats him with the rod, gives him a gentle correction, the stripes of the sons of men, not such as we give to beasts. Beat him with the rod and he shall not die. The rod will not kill him; nay, it will prevent his killing himself by those vicious courses which the rod will be necessary to restrain him from. For the present it is not joyous, but grievous, both to the parent and to the child; but when it is given with wisdom, designed for good, accompanied with prayer, and blessed of God, it may prove a happy means of preventing his utter destruction and delivering his soul from hell. Our great care must be about our children's souls; we must not see them in danger of hell without using all possible means, with the utmost care and concern, to snatch them as brands out of everlasting burnings. Let the body smart, so that the spirit be saved in the day of the Lord Jesus. 3. A parent encouraging his child, telling him, (1.) What was all he expected, nothing but what would be for his own good, that his heart be wise and that his lips speak right things, that he be under the government of good principles, and that by those principles he particularly maintain a good environment of his tongue. It is to be hoped that those will do right things when they grow up who learn to speak right things when they are young, and dare not speak any bad words. (2.) What a comfort it would be to him if herein he answered his expectation: "If thy heart be wise, my heart shall rejoice, shall rejoice in thee, even mine, who have taken so much care and pains about thee, my heart, that has many a time ached for thee, for which thou shouldst study thus to make a grateful requital." Note, The wisdom of children will be the joy of their parents and teachers, who have no greater joy than to see them walk in the truth,3 John 1:4. "Children, if you be wise and good, devout and conscientious, God will be pleased with you, and that will be our joy: we shall think our labour in instructing you well bestowed; it will be a comfortable answer for the many prayers we have put up for you; we shall be eased of a great deal of care, shall not need to be so strict and severe in watching over you, and shall consequently be the easier both to you and to ourselves. We shall rejoice in hope that you will be a credit and comfort to us, if we should live to be old, that you will bear up the name of Christ in your generation, that you will live comfortably in this world and happily in another."