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Jesus Rides Back into Town

¹ After the day of rest, at sunrise of the first day of the week, the two Marys went to visit Jesus's grave.

² All of a sudden there was a violent earthquake. A winged rider from heaven had flown down and rolled the boulder out of the way so they could see inside. ³ This angel looked like he was made of livin' lightnin' and his trail gear was as white as snow. ⁴ The deputies saw him and got so dad-gummed scared that they fell down like dead men.

⁵ The winged rider said, "Y'all don't be scared. I know y'all are lookin' for Jesus who was strung up and killed on that cross. ⁶ But he ain't here! He has ridden back from the dead just like he said he would. Y'all come take a look and see that I ain't pullin' your leg. ⁷ Once yer satisfied that he ain't here, run and tell his cowboys, 'He has ridden back from the dead and has struck a long trot for Galilee. There is where you'll meet him.' I've said what I came to say."

The Ladies See Jesus

⁸ So the two ladies ran away from the grave. They were afraid, but at the same time they were plumb happy. They ran as fast as they could toward where the cowboys were camped. ⁹ Suddenly they came upon Jesus sittin' there and he said, "Howdy!" They screamed for joy and fell down at his boots and worshiped him. ¹⁰ Then Jesus told 'em, "Don't be scared. Go and tell the boys of my outfit to meet me in Galilee."

The Head Honchos of the Church Bribe the Deputies

¹¹ While the women were goin' to tell Jesus's cowboys about what happened, the deputies rode into town and told the head honchos of the church about the winged rider and everything else that had happened. ¹² The head honchos met together and came up with a devious plan. They gave the deputies a bunch of money and said, ¹³ "Tell people that Jesus's cowboys came in the middle of the night and bushwhacked you and stole Jesus's body. ¹⁴ If this report makes it back to Pilate, he will be fine with it and you won't get in trouble." ¹⁵ So the deputies pocketed their small fortunes and did what they were told to do. This lie has been told all over the place and is still thought to be true today.

Jesus Gives the Great Cow-mission

¹⁶ The eleven remaining cowboys of Jesus's outfit rode out to Galilee to the mountain Jesus had told 'em about. ¹⁷ When they saw him, they took a knee before him and worshiped him, but even then, some of them had doubts. ¹⁸ Then Jesus walked up to 'em and said, "I've been made Boss over heaven's Green Pastures and all the pastures of this world. ¹⁹ Go now and recruit riders for my brand from all over the world, baptize them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Ghost, ²⁰ teachin' them to ride the cowboy way I have taught y'all. And remember this, I am always with you, even to the very end of every trail."