Lectionary Calendar
Wednesday, December 4th, 2024
the First Week of Advent
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Read the Bible

Simplified Cowboy Version

John 16

1 "I'm telling you these things so you don't get pitched off into the cactus and lose your faith. 2 You're gonna be kicked out of churches. There'll even come a point when they'll kill you and think they are doing the right thing. 3 They won't know what they're doing because they don't follow my Father or me. 4 I'm saying this to prepare you for what is coming. There was no point in telling you before, but now you need to know.

The Work of the Trail Guide

5 "But now I'm about to head out. Every one of you is missing the point about where I'm going. 6 If you understood, you would be happy, but yet you do nothing except hang your heads. 7 Truth is, it's a good thing I'm going. The Trail Guide can't come and help you until I'm gone. 8 When he gets here, he's gonna show people three things: sin, being right with God, and the judgment that waits for unbelievers. 9 The world's greatest sin is that they do not believe in who I am. 10 Y'all are going to be made right with God when I get to him. I won't be around anymore, but I'll still be with you. 11 Judgment awaits those who follow the world because its ruler has already been judged.

12 "Now there is much more I could tell you, but it would be too much to handle. 13 But when the Trail Guide comes, he will lead you to all truths. He will not speak anything that he has not heard. He's going to guide you in all things to come. 14 He's going to bring me honor because he's going to get all his information straight from me. 15 Everything God possesses has been given to me. That's why the Trail Guide will tell you only what he gets from me.

Switchin' Leads

16 "In a little while, I'll be gone. But I'm going to come riding back very soon."

17 Some of the cowboys started questioning each other, "What does he mean 'be gone'? What is he talkin' about when he said, 'You won't see me, but then you will later' and 'I'm headed out to see my Daddy'? 18 And what is 'a little while'? We don't understand any of this."

19 Jesus knew they had questions, but were afraid to ask. He said, "Y'all are looking a little bewildered. Y'all look like a calf that doesn't know whether to run through the fence or head back. 20 The truth is, y'all are going to cry when you see what happens to me. Y'all will cry, and the world will laugh and cheer. But then I'm going to switch leads on you. Y'all will laugh and cheer, and the world will bawl and squall. 21 A woman will cry out in pain as she gives birth, but her tears will turn to smiles once she brings new life into the world. 22 Y'all will go through the same range of emotions. Soon you will cry, but your tears will turn to joy. And no one will be able to take your joy away. 23 When that joy arrives, you will have no more uncertain questions to ask. You will be asking for my help and I'll give it you so that you can accomplish your task. 24 Until now, you haven't really needed anything, but the time is going to come when you will have a need, and I'm going to give it to you.

25 "I have used many illustrations to try to teach you the truth, but a time is coming when we will no longer need such things. We will be able to speak plainly. 26 By asking in my name, that doesn't mean I will ask my Father on your behalf. It means you will be able to ask him yourself. 27 The whole point of all of this is to bring you close to God because he loves you so much. 28 I came from my Father and now I'm fixing to go back to him."

29 The cowboys slapped their legs and said, "Now we can understand you, 30 there's no need to ask a bunch of questions because the only thing that is important is that you came from God and we believe it."

31 Jesus asked, "You say you believe now, 32 but the time is nearly here when all of you will scatter into the brush to save your hides. You'll leave me high and dry, but I won't be alone. My Father will be there with me. 33 I've told you all of this so you will be able to be calm. While you ride for me, you'll have plenty of trouble, but keep your chin up! I have conquered this world."

 
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