Read the Bible

¹ Then the head preacher asked Steve, "What have you got to say about this?"

² This is what he said, "Listen to me, all you. God, in all his glory, showed himself to our greatest of granddaddies, Abe. He did this while Abe still lived in Mesopotamia, before he moved to Haran. ³ God said to him, 'Leave your ranch behind and strike a long trot toward the place I've shown ya.' ⁴ So Abe did just that and stayed in Haran until his daddy had died. Then God led him to the land where we now live.

⁵ "But God didn't give him the land. Not even a small water lot to keep his horses. But God did say he would give all the land to Abe's descendants. This was ironic because Abe and his wife couldn't have kids. ⁶ God also told Abe his descendants would be in a foreign country as slaves for four hundred years. ⁷ God said, 'But I'll pay back that country for all the abuse they'll give your family. When all is said and done, they will leave that country and come back here to worship me.'

⁸ "God also taught Abe the pickle-clippin' promise. When Abe's son, Isaac, was born, he clipped his little boy's pickle on the eighth day just like God told him to. The ceremony continued with Isaac's boy, Jake, and on down the line to his boys. And it is Jake's boys who would become the twelve patriarchs of Israel.

⁹ "Now these patriarchs were jealous of one of their brothers. They ended up selling their brother Joseph to some slavers from Egypt. But God was takin' care of Joseph ¹⁰ and saved his hide from a bunch of troubles down there. God helped Joseph become the second most powerful man in Egypt behind Pharaoh.

¹¹ "But a drought struck the area of Egypt and Canaan. A lot of people died when the food ran out. ¹² Jake heard there was still some food down in Egypt, so he sent his sons down there to trade for some. ¹³ They made two trips, and on the second trip, Joseph told his brothers who he was. Pharaoh even learned about Joseph's family and their struggles. ¹⁴ Joseph told his brothers to go and fetch the whole family—seventy-five in all. ¹⁵ Jake made the journey to Egypt and ended up staying there until he and the rest of our ancestors died. ¹⁶ They were all eventually brought back to Shechem and buried in the graveyard Abe had bought while he was still alive.

¹⁷ "When the time got close to fulfill his promise to Abe about freeing all his descendants from slavery, there was a whole herd of people. ¹⁸ Then Egypt got a new king and he didn't know anything about Joseph or the fact that all these foreigners were his family. ¹⁹ He was a wicked hombre and made them throw away their first-born kids.

²⁰ "At this time, a boy named Moses was born. But this wasn't no ordinary kiddo. His momma raised him for about three months and then she had to throw him away. ²¹ She put him in a basket in the river and arranged for the new Pharaoh's daughter to find him. She did and raised Moses like he was her own. ²² Moses was raised as an Egyptian and learned all their ways and all their wisdom. He turned out to be quite the cowboy.

²³ "When Moses was about forty, he rode down to meet some of his real kin. ²⁴ He saw how cruel they were being treated and ended up killing an Egyptian in defense of one of his people. ²⁵ Moses thought the Israelites would see how much he was willing to fight for them, but they could not see how God was using him. ²⁶ The next day, Moses came across two Israelite men who were fighting. He broke it up and said, 'Men, why do y'all try to hurt each other? Y'all are brothers and should be looking out for each other.'

²⁷ "But the Israelite who had started the fight said, 'Who made you the cow boss over this outfit? ²⁸ You gonna kill me like you killed that Egyptian yesterday?' ²⁹ Moses never looked back and struck a high-lope for the land of Midian. He lived as a foreigner in this land and even got married and had two sons.

³⁰ "Forty years later, an angel showed himself to Moses in the form of a burning bush. This was in the desert country near Mount Sinai. ³¹ Moses couldn't believe his eyes and went over to get a better look. When he got close, God said, ³² 'I am the God of all your daddies. I am the God of Abe, Isaac, and Jake.' Moses was shakin' like a newborn calf in a snowstorm and didn't even dare look.

³³ "Then God said to him, 'Take your boots off, cowboy. The land you are standin' on is holy. ³⁴ I've seen what the Egyptians have been doing to my kids. I have heard their cries for help, and I'm coming. I'm coming to rescue them by ridin' with you. Now head back to Egypt.'

³⁵ "Now this is the same Moses who the Israelites had mocked by asking him, 'Who made you cow boss of this outfit?' He was sent back by God to be their cow boss and rescuer. ³⁶ It's a long story, but God did many miraculous things through Moses as he led all his people out of Egypt by way of the Red Sea and the barren wilderness.

³⁷ "This is the same Moses who told the Israelites, 'God is going to send another cow boss and rescuer like me from your own people.' ³⁸ Now these words didn't come from himself, but from an angel who'd given them to him. The angel didn't just give Moses the words to give to our ancestors, but to us today, too.

³⁹ "But those Israelites he was leadin' turned their back on Moses. They wanted to go back to Egypt and be slaves. ⁴⁰ They told Aaron, 'Build us a god we can see and touch that will lead us back to Egypt. Moses has shucked out on us, and nobody has seen him in days.' ⁴¹ So they made the statue of a calf and worshiped it like it was a god. They made sacrifices to it and made idiots of themselves. ⁴² Because of this, God turned his back on all those folks. He let them worship the sun, the moon, and the stars. But these things couldn't do anything for them. This is why the Good Book said, 'Did y'all bring me offerings and sacrifices during the forty years in the wilderness? ⁴³ No, you didn't. Y'all were too busy cavorting with battle gods and slutty goddesses. Y'all worshiped them with all of your might. That's why I will send y'all to Babylon.'

⁴⁴ "Our ancestors had a tent to worship the true God in while they were in the wilderness. It wasn't that the tent was where God was, it was the fact that God was with his people where they were. God had even told Moses how to set it up and where. ⁴⁵ Many years later, when Josh battled against the people who were in the land God had given the Israelites, the tent was there with them. It stayed in the land until the time of David. ⁴⁶ God loved David, especially when David asked to build God a permanent place to be worshiped. ⁴⁷ God didn't let David build it, but he did let his son Solomon complete the church.

⁴⁸ "But listen close, guys. God doesn't live in a barn made by humans. Remember that prophet who said, ⁴⁹ 'Heaven is my throne, and the earth is my footstool. Can you humans build something worthy like that for me? Could you even envision such a thing for me to rest my feet? ⁵⁰ Don't you remember it was my hands that created all the heavens and the entire earth?'

Steve Seals His Fate

⁵¹ "You boneheaded people! Y'all have the hearts of heathens and deaf ears to the truth. Y'all sit right here on your comfy seats and deny the power of the Holy Spirit. But y'all weren't the only ones to do it. Your ancestors did it, too. ⁵² Name one of the prophets your ancestors didn't try to kill or punish. They even killed the ones who said the Top Hand was coming. If that wasn't bad enough, you even killed the Top Hand himself. You murdered God's own Son. ⁵³ You shunned God's code deliberately, even though it was given to you from the very hands of angels."

⁵⁴ When Steve finished, all hell broke loose. ⁵⁵ But Steve remained calm and looked up. He saw right into heaven and the glory of God with Jesus standing at his right hand. ⁵⁶ Steve said, "Look right there, boys! I can see right into heaven. God's sitting there and Jesus is standing at his right hand."

⁵⁷ This was the final straw. They covered their ears as to not hear the truth and bull rushed Steve. ⁵⁸ They dragged him out of the city like a calf to the fire and started killing him with rocks. The leaders of the vigilante mob took off their coats and handed them to a young man named Saul.

⁵⁹ While they were killing him, Steve prayed, "Lord Jesus, open the gate. I'm coming home." ⁶⁰ Then he fell to his knees and cried out his last words, "Lord, please don't hold this against them." After he'd said this, he fell asleep.