Lectionary Calendar
Tuesday, December 3rd, 2024
the First Week of Advent
the First Week of Advent
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Bible Commentaries
Bell's Commentary on the Bible Bell's Commentary
Copyright Statement
These files are the property of Brian Bell.
Text Courtesy of Calvary Chapel of Murrieta. Used by Permission.
These files are the property of Brian Bell.
Text Courtesy of Calvary Chapel of Murrieta. Used by Permission.
Bibliographical Information
Bell, Brian. "Commentary on 2 Samuel 1". "Bell's Commentary". https://www.studylight.org/commentaries/eng/cbb/2-samuel-1.html. 2017.
Bell, Brian. "Commentary on 2 Samuel 1". "Bell's Commentary". https://www.studylight.org/
Whole Bible (43)Old Testament (1)Individual Books (2)
Verses 1-27
What Do I Do, or Say?
Do be a good listener. Answer briefly any questions. Do show extreme sensitivity.
Do remember words aren’t always necessary (in giving comfort). Do acknowledge the grieving person’s pain.
Do allow them to express whatever emotion they are comfortable with. Do say, “I’m sorry!”
Do give a squeeze of the hand, or hand on the shoulder (depending on its appropriateness, or familiarity with the individual)
Do remember there’s always some guilt associated with the death of a loved one. Do mention the loved one’s name or recall pleasant memories.
Do remember the others who are grieving also.
Do help them to put off any decisions that don’t have to be made right away (often they start worrying about the future, this obviously isn’t the right time to make any “life” decisions at such an emotional time).
(With children) Do give brief & simple explanations. Use concrete & familiar examples. (Remember being cared for is a very realistic concern for them).
Do give assurances, and extend hope (“You will be ok”, “You will get through this.”)
What I Shouldn’t Do, or Shouldn’t Say?
Don’t avoid the grieving person.
Don’t wait for them to reach out to you, reach out to them. Don’t be critical of the bereaved person’s actions.
Don’t ask countless loaded questions.
Don’t use common euphemisms used to describe dying, including such phrases as “Bought the farm”; Kicked the bucket”; “They have Expired.”
Don’t use expressions such as “killed,” “decapitated,” or “dismembered.”
Don’t encourage flights of fantasy, help them in the process of accepting the realities of death. Don’t say, “I know what you are going through.” Everyone’s grief is unique.
Don’t try to answer when they ask “Why?” Don’t try to have “all” the answers.
Don’t give platitudes, cliches or trite expressions, such as, “At least he didn’t suffer”, “Time heals all wounds”, “The Lord knows best”, God doesn’t make mistakes.” These are true but they don’t necessarily bring comfort at this time.
Don’t tell a grieving mother who just lost a child, “well praise God you still have 4 other children!” ( “5 - 1 does not equal plenty!”)
Don’t try to minimize the person’s relationship to the deceased. (i.e. “You really weren’t that close were you?”)
Don’t tell them about similar incidents or accidents. (well I had a brother that died like that, let me tell you the whole story)
Don’t minimize the loss of a baby through a miscarriage, or still-birth.
Verses 1-27
What Do I Do, or Say?
Do be a good listener. Answer briefly any questions. Do show extreme sensitivity.
Do remember words aren’t always necessary (in giving comfort). Do acknowledge the grieving person’s pain.
Do allow them to express whatever emotion they are comfortable with. Do say, “I’m sorry!”
Do give a squeeze of the hand, or hand on the shoulder (depending on its appropriateness, or familiarity with the individual)
Do remember there’s always some guilt associated with the death of a loved one. Do mention the loved one’s name or recall pleasant memories.
Do remember the others who are grieving also.
Do help them to put off any decisions that don’t have to be made right away (often they start worrying about the future, this obviously isn’t the right time to make any “life” decisions at such an emotional time).
(With children) Do give brief & simple explanations. Use concrete & familiar examples. (Remember being cared for is a very realistic concern for them).
Do give assurances, and extend hope (“You will be ok”, “You will get through this.”)
What I Shouldn’t Do, or Shouldn’t Say?
Don’t avoid the grieving person.
Don’t wait for them to reach out to you, reach out to them. Don’t be critical of the bereaved person’s actions.
Don’t ask countless loaded questions.
Don’t use common euphemisms used to describe dying, including such phrases as “Bought the farm”; Kicked the bucket”; “They have Expired.”
Don’t use expressions such as “killed,” “decapitated,” or “dismembered.”
Don’t encourage flights of fantasy, help them in the process of accepting the realities of death. Don’t say, “I know what you are going through.” Everyone’s grief is unique.
Don’t try to answer when they ask “Why?” Don’t try to have “all” the answers.
Don’t give platitudes, cliches or trite expressions, such as, “At least he didn’t suffer”, “Time heals all wounds”, “The Lord knows best”, God doesn’t make mistakes.” These are true but they don’t necessarily bring comfort at this time.
Don’t tell a grieving mother who just lost a child, “well praise God you still have 4 other children!” ( “5 - 1 does not equal plenty!”)
Don’t try to minimize the person’s relationship to the deceased. (i.e. “You really weren’t that close were you?”)
Don’t tell them about similar incidents or accidents. (well I had a brother that died like that, let me tell you the whole story)
Don’t minimize the loss of a baby through a miscarriage, or still-birth.