Lectionary Calendar
Wednesday, December 4th, 2024
the First Week of Advent
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Read the Bible

Simplified Cowboy Version

Matthew 22

The Wedding BBQ

1 Jesus told another story and said, 2 "The Boss's place is like a big rancher who planned a BBQ for his son's wedding. 3 He sent some of his cowboys to the other ranches to invite them to the BBQ, but no one came.

4 "Then he sent some more cowboys to the neighbors he had invited with the message, 'I've butchered my best steer and the fattest hogs. Y'all be sure and put your cowboy hats on. That's the only thing I ask. Come get the best food in the world and help me celebrate my son's wedding.'

5 "But nobody came and they all ignored the invitation. They were too busy for the big rancher. One went and worked his new colt, and another went ropin'. 6 The other folks who were invited were just bored so they beat up the big rancher's cowboys and even killed a few of them. 7 The big rancher was furious! He sent his hired guns to kill those who had murdered his cowboys and they even burned their ranches to the ground.

8 "Then he said to his cowboys, 'The wedding BBQ is ready, but no cowboys wanted to come. 9 Go into the city and invite anyone you find. Tell them to put their hats on and come help me celebrate.' 10 The cowboys went into to the city and invited everyone they saw. It didn't matter if they were good or bad. They invited everyone and the ranch headquarters was packed with people.

11 "But when the big rancher came out of the house, he saw a guy standin' over to one side and he wasn't wearin' a hat. 12 'Hey friend,' he said, 'how did you get through the gate without a hat on? That was the only requirement to attend.' The man stood there speechless.

13 "The big rancher told some of his cowboys, 'Tie him up and drag him out of here and leave him for the coyotes and buzzards to eat!'

14 "Many will be invited, but only a few will come."

Taxes

15 Then the religious know-it-alls tried to trap Jesus with his own words so they could arrest him. 16 They sent some people to ask him, "We know you're a great cowboy and good teacher of what the Boss wants. You don't care what men think about you or what they say. 17 Since you don't care, is it right for us to pay taxes to Caesar?"

18 Jesus knew they were tryin' to trap him with their words and he said, "Why are you dealin' words off the bottom of the deck and tryin' to trap me with the dead man's hand of aces and eights? 19 Show me a dollar that you would pay your taxes with." They showed him a silver dollar, 20 and he asked, "Whose picture is stamped on this dollar?"

21 "That's Caesar's picture," they said.

Then he told 'em, "If it has his picture on it, then give it back to him. Give to Caesar what belongs to Caesar and give to the Boss what belongs to the Boss."

22 They didn't know what to say to this so they just left.

Being Hitched in Heaven

23 The cattle barons (Sadducees), who were a group of influential people who didn't believe in life after death, came to Jesus and said, 24 "Moses said that if a man dies without having any kids, the dead cowboy's brother needs to marry his brother's wife, and if they have a son, the son will be considered the dead brother's son. 25 If there were seven brothers and the first one married a gal and died before having a child, and then the 26 second brother married her and the same thing happened, and it went on until the seventh brother married her 27 and she died, 28 who would be married to her in heaven since she was married to all of 'em?"

29 Jesus answered, "Y'all don't know scripture from scribblin'! And you don't know who God is.

30 When God opens the gates of heaven for those who believe in his boy, they won't be hitched to nobody. They'll be like the winged riders who serve him. 31 As far as being given eternal life, the Boss was talkin' at you when he said, 32 'I'm the Boss of Abraham, the first ramrod of my outfit, and of all his sons.' My Dad isn't the Boss of the dead, but of those who are alive!"

33 The cowboys and cowgirls gathered there stood with their mouths hanging open in surprise at what Jesus was teachin'.

The Greatest Task

34 After Jesus had made the cattle barons look like a bunch of idiots, the hypocritical preachers got together to talk about what he was sayin'. 35 One of them was a know-it-all when it came to the code of Moses and he tried to trap Jesus with a question. He asked Jesus, 36 "What's the most important task in the code of Moses?"

37 Jesus said, "Love the Boss with everything you got and everything you are. 38 This is the first task and it's the most important. 39 The second most important is to love other cowboys and cowgirls as you love yourself. 40 Everything in the Code and the writings of the Boss's cowboys (prophets) are based on these two tasks."

The Son of David

41 While the hypocritical preachers were still standin' there, Jesus asked them,

42 "What do y'all think about the One Who Will Save All Cowboys? Where will he come from?" They looked at each other and said, "He will be a son of David."

43 Jesus then asked, "Alright then, if this Savin' Cowboy is David's son, then why did David say this cowboy would be his master? Remember David said, 44 'The Boss said to my Master, "Ride here beside me until I make all your enemies into something that you can rest and prop your boots on."'

45 "If David called this cowboy his master, how can this cowboy be a son of King David?"

46 No one knew the answer and from that day on, everyone kept their mouths shut and didn't try to trap him with fancy words.

 
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