Read the Bible

The First Cowboys

¹ One day while Jesus was giving a clinic on the bank of the Sea of Galilee, there were so many people that they were crowding in on him. ² He looked around and saw two empty boats docked by the water's edge. The fishermen were cleaning their nets nearby. ³ Jesus went and got into one of these boats and asked the owner, a fellow named Simon, to push it out a little way into the water. He stood and taught right from the boat so everyone could see and hear him.

⁴ When he was done with his clinic, he told Simon to paddle his boat out into the deep water and let down his nets.

⁵ Simon told him, "Sir, we fished out there all night and didn't catch nothing. But if you say so, we'll go out again." ⁶ When they did, they caught so many fish their nets starting tearing apart. ⁷ They hollered for some help and soon other boat's nets were so full that they too began to nearly sink.

⁸ When Simon Peter finally caught on to what was happening, he hit one knee before Jesus and said, "Lord, you've got to ride away from here. I'm not worthy enough to be within your sight." ⁹ His heart was beating fast with amazement at what he'd just experienced. ¹⁰ James and John, his other partners, were also amazed.

Jesus smiled and said, "Don't be afraid of being with me. You're gonna come with me and I'm going to help you go from catching fish to gathering strays." ¹¹ When the boat got back to shore, they saddled up, left everything behind, and rode off with Jesus.

Jesus Fixes a Fella with Skin Rot

¹² Jesus and his new pards rode up to a little village and got off. A fella ran up to them and fell down on his face as he cried, "Lord, I know you can fix me if you're willing to."

¹³ Jesus showed compassion and did something no religious person would ever do, he reached out and touched the man with skin rot as he said, "I'm willing my friend. Be healed!" The man was immediately healed as if nothing had ever been wrong with him. ¹⁴ Jesus then warned him not to tell anyone what happened. He said, "Go let the preacher look at ya and take along the offering as is required by the code of Moses. This is how you will show everyone what has happened."

¹⁵ But that fella couldn't keep his trap shut. People started looking for Jesus everywhere so he could teach 'em to ride for God and cure their poxes and cancers. ¹⁶ Because of this, Jesus often rode off into the wilderness so he could be alone in prayer.

Jesus Fixes a Crippled Man's Legs

¹⁷ One day Jesus was giving a clinic and some religious know-it-alls and some hypocritical code keepers were listening in. They always sent someone to wherever he was giving a clinic. And on this day, just like every other day, the healing power of God was riding with Jesus.

¹⁸ Some fellas showed up with their buddy lying on a homemade stretcher. They were trying to get him to Jesus, but there were just too many people around. ¹⁹ Not to be dissuaded, the cowboys climbed up on the roof and hauled their paralyzed buddy up there with them. Then they tore back part of the roof and sure enough let him down right in front of Jesus by a well rope. ²⁰ Jesus loved their faith and tenacity and said, "Cowboy, your sins are forgiven."

²¹ But that was just what them religious fellows were waiting on. They jumped up and started making a racket saying, "Who does he think he is? This goes against everything God ever said. Only God can forgive sins, not some two-bit cowboy."

²² Jesus already knew what they were thinking so he asked them, "Why are your hearts so bitter? ²³ Is it easier for me to say that his sins are forgiven or to tell him to get up and walk? ²⁴ Just so you know that I have authority to do both, hold my wine and watch this." Jesus then turned back to the crippled cowboy and said, "Get up, go saddle your horse, and head home."

²⁵ And the cowboy did just like the Boss told him to. ²⁶ No one could believe what they'd just seen and heard.

Jesus Wrangles in Levi

²⁷ Later, Jesus was riding out of town and saw a tax collector named Levi sitting in his tax collecting hut. "Ride with me and I'll teach you how to cowboy for the Boss," Jesus said as he rode by. ²⁸ Levi got up, left everything he had in the hut, and saddled up to ride with Jesus.

²⁹ That evening, Levi invited a bunch of other outlaws to his place to meet Jesus. ³⁰ The religious folks got in a tizzy over this and said to Jesus's cowboys, "Why does your boss associate with lowlifes?"

³¹ Jesus heard them and said, "Healthy cattle don't need roped and doctored—sick ones do. ³² I have not come to gather those who think they are show cattle, but the ones who know they are the mavericks, renegades, and strays. I've come to show them a better way of life riding for me."

Jesus Is Asked about Fasting

³³ One day some people asked Jesus, "John the Baptist's boys are always fasting and praying just like the Pharisees students. Why then are your cowboys always eating, drinking, and smiling?"

³⁴ Jesus answered, "If you're invited to a wedding, the groom doesn't ask his guests to go without. ³⁵ But one day the groom will not be there and that is when his guests will fast and pray."

³⁶ Jesus then told them this story so they could understand, "You don't patch a new saddle with old leather. The old leather is dried up and cracked and it will ruin the new saddle."

³⁷ He continued, "And you don't put new hooch in an old wineskin. The new hooch would burst the old skin and you'd lose both. ³⁸ New hooch goes in a new wineskin. ³⁹ So you see, nobody wants anything new, they just want to stay in the old ways. You can have the new, but you can't put it in the old way of thinking."