Lectionary Calendar
Wednesday, December 4th, 2024
the First Week of Advent
Attention!
For 10¢ a day you can enjoy StudyLight.org ads
free while helping to build churches and support pastors in Uganda.
Click here to learn more!

Read the Bible

Simplified Cowboy Version

Luke 11

The Top Hand's Prayer

1 Jesus was praying one day, and one of the twelve cowboys came up and asked him to teach them how to pray.

2 Jesus said, "This is how you should pray, 'Dad, there is no name like yours. 3 Let your outfit get here soon. Give us what we need to eat and 4 forgive us of our sorry ways. We will also forgive others who are sorry toward us. And keep us from hanging up in the stirrup of temptation.'"

5 Then he gave them a clinic on prayer and said, "Let's say you eat the last of the food you have in your house and some company shows up. You run over to the neighboring ranch and knock on the door. A cowboy opens it and asks what you want so late, and you ask to borrow a bag of beans to feed your visitor.

6 

7 He shuts the door in your face and tells you to leave because everyone is asleep. 8 But I'll say this, if you keep knocking on that door, he will give you a bag of beans just to make you go away. Persistence and boldness are the keys to prayer.

9 "So I'm telling you to knock on the Boss's door until he answers and don't go away until he gives you what you need. 10 Everyone who asks will get it, and everyone who knows where to look will find it. You knock, and the Boss will answer the door.

11 "If you're a dad and your son asks for some jerky, are you going to hand him a live rattlesnake? 12 If your kid asks for eggs in his sandwich are you going to put a scorpion in there? 13 You see, evil and selfish hearts control y'all, but you still know how to take care of your kids. If this is so, how much will your actual Dad in heaven take care of his kids with the Holy Spirit when they need help?"

Jesus Accused of Ridin' for the Enemy

14 One day Jesus was kickin' a demon out of a guy, and when it was gone, he began to talk. 15 Some folks started a rumor that said, "He can kick demons out of people because he rides for the devil." 16 Many folks wanted more proof and more miracles to prove Jesus had come from God.

17 Jesus was not oblivious to their thinking. He told 'em, "Any outfit that can't get along will fail. A crew that fights will fall apart. 18 You say I ride for the devil, but if I'm fightin' the one I ride for, how can his crew succeed? 19 And if I'm ridin' for Satan, then what about your people who cast out demons too? Are they ridin' for the devil also? If they hear what you're saying they ain't gonna like it much, 20 but if I am working for the Boss in heaven, then his outfit has arrived on earth. 21 When a cowboy rides shotgun over his herd, everything is safe. 22 That is until someone sneaks up on him and takes his weapon, his horse, and all his herd.

23 "Anyone who doesn't ride for me is against me. If you don't gather with me, then you are scattering it.

24 "When an evil spirit leaves someone, it goes out searching for someone else in the desert. 25 If it finds no one, it will come back to the one it left. 26 When it finds him, if he is not riding for the Boss, the evil spirit will bring seven more, and they will possess him again. He'll be worse off than he was before."

27 While he was talkin', a lady hollered out, "Bless your momma and the breasts that fed you!"

28 Jesus replied, "But even more blessed is the one who listens to what I say and does it."

Jonah's Miracle

29 More and more folks crowded around Jesus as he talked, "All those ridin' for themselves keep asking me to do more and more miracles. But the only miracle they will see will be the same one the Boss did for Jonah. 30 He was dead three days and then came back. This miracle was to prove to the evil people in Nineveh that Jonah came from the Boss. God will do the same thing for his Top Hand. 31 The Queen of Sheba traveled all the way from her foreign land to listen to the wisdom of Solomon. On Judgment Day, she will condemn y'all because now there is one even wiser than he was. 32 Even the people of Nineveh will talk bad about y'all on Judgment Day. They listened and did what Jonah told them to, but there is someone greater than even Jonah here, but y'all won't turn from your sorry ways.

Shine a Light

33 "No one lights an oil lamp at night and then puts a hat over it. They will put it on a high shelf so that it can shine for everyone to see.

34 "Your eye is the oil lamp for your body. When your eyes are open to the truth, your whole body shines with light. 35 But if you are only looking for the ways of the world to please you, then your eye is squeezed shut, and no light is within you. 36 If your body is full of light, your whole life will shine bright and be blessed."

Jesus Sets Religious Leaders Straight

37 After Jesus was gone, a religious leader invited him over to his house for lunch. Jesus accepted the invite and went with him. 38 When they walked in, the Pharisee was surprised that Jesus didn't wash his hands before eating.

39 Jesus knew what the man was thinking and said, "You religious leaders make sure you look squeaky clean on the outside, but inside you are full of greed and wickedness. 40 You're all a bunch of fools. If the Boss made the outside, didn't he make the inside too? 41 Clean up the inside by giving yourself in service to the poor and the outside will match.

42 "Y'all religious people are going to get what's coming to you. Y'all make sure and tithe even the money that comes from your herb patches, but you don't even realize that sticking up for the less fortunate and loving God are just as important. Don't pick and choose what you are supposed to do. Do it all.

43 "Y'all religious people are going to get what's coming to you. Y'all sure like the box seats at the rodeo and for everyone to know your name at the feed store. 44 Y'all religious people are going to get what's coming to you. Y'all are like septic tanks in the ground. There's green grass on top that people admire, but they don't know the filth that lies underneath."

45 One expert on the code of Moses said, "When you talk like this, you are insulting us too!"

46 "Y'all experts on the code of Moses will get what's coming to you too! You are good at pointing fingers, but you won't lift a finger to help anyone. 47 You're gonna get what's coming to ya! You build statues honoring the cowboys of God from the past, but you act like your ancestors who killed them in the first place. 48 By acting like them, you agree with what they did. 49 This is why our wise Boss said, 'I'll send them cowboys and guides, but the people will just hurt them and even kill them.' 50 So all the people living now will be held responsible for all the murders of all the prophets from Zechariah to Abel.51 Yep, this generation will certainly pay the fiddler.

52 "Y'all experts on the code of Moses will get what's coming to you! You took the key to knowledge and hid it so no one else could get it, not even yourselves."

53 When Jesus walked away, the religious leaders and the experts on the code of Moses tried to get under his skin with questions and accusations. 54 They wanted to trap him, but he didn't take the bait.

 
adsfree-icon
Ads FreeProfile