Lectionary Calendar
Wednesday, December 4th, 2024
the First Week of Advent
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Read the Bible

Simplified Cowboy Version

Luke 1

The Tale of Jesus

1 There's a lot of folks who've told the tale of the things that happened. 2 These things have been written down and agree with the stories that come from the cowboys who were there. 3 I've studied what was written and talked to many folks. 4 I was very careful so that you would know that what I write is the truth.

John the Baptizer's Birth

5 When that old rascal Herod was king of Judea, there was a preacher named Zechariah. He belonged to a group called Abijah. He had a wife named Elizabeth and her ancestors come from the line of Aaron. 6 Zechariah and Elizabeth were good people. They did everything God ever told 'em to do. 7 They were both timeworn, and Elizabeth had never gotten pregnant despite her and her husband's many prayers.

8 Zechariah was serving as the preacher for his group because it was their time to serve. 9 One preacher was always chosen to carry the incense for the services, and old Zechariah was the one they chose. 10 When he came in with the incense, there were a ton of people at the church praying.

11 Then an angel appeared right next to the table where Zechariah was offering incense. 12 The sight of the angel nearly toppled old Zechariah. He started shaking like a leaf. 13 But the angel told him, "Whoa, amigo. Don't let me spook ya. I've come to tell ya that God has been listening to your prayers and your wife will give birth to a baby boy. God wants you to name him John. 14 He's going to make you, and a lot of other people, very happy. 15 He's going to be a top hand for the Lord. He will never let alcohol pass his lips and even before his birth the Holy Spirit will be with him. 16 John's going to gather a lot of people for God's outfit. 17 He's going to get everything ready for when the Lord comes. John is going to be as powerful as Elijah and have the same spirit. He will bring families back together and show people who are not riding for God how to change the way they do things."

18 Zechariah lowered his gaze and asked, "How can I believe this? The wife and I are real long in the tooth."

19 The angel said, "My name is Gabriel, and I stand before God, always ready to do his, and only his, bidding. He sent me here to bring you this good news. 20 Now you hear me, and you better get used to listening because you're going to be doing a lot of it. You didn't believe what I said, so you are no longer going to be able to speak until all I have told you comes to pass . . . and it will."

21 After the church service was over, many people waited on Zechariah to come out. They were wondering why he was taking so long. 22 When he came out, he could not say a word. The people figured out that he'd had a vision because he couldn't speak, but he was trying to communicate with his hands. 23 He hightailed it home after work.

24 After all this, Elizabeth became pregnant. She kept to herself for about five months. She said a few times, 25 "Just look at what the Lord has done for this old woman. He heard my prayer and now people will stop staring at me like I'm broken."

An Angel Tells of Jesus's Upcoming Birth

26 When Elizabeth was six months pregnant, God sent Gabriel to talk to a virgin girl named Mary who lived in Nazareth. 27 She was engaged to a carpenter named Joseph, who descended from David. 28 The angel appeared to her and said, "Mary, you have found favor in the sight of God, and he is with you."

29 Mary was real confused about what any of this meant. 30 The angel said, "Don't be afraid. God is real proud of the lady you've become, and 31 you are going to be pregnant with a son. You will name him Jesus. 32 He is going to the best cowboy ever born. People will call him the Son of God and the Lord will make him like his ancestor David. 33 He's going to rule over the house of Jacob forever; his outfit will never end."

34 Mary sheepishly asked, "How's this going to work since I've never slept with a man?"

35 Gabriel said, "You ain't gotta worry about that part. God will take care of it. This baby is going to be holy, and he is gonna be God's only boy. 36 And here's some more good news, your cousin Elizabeth is going to have a baby in about three months. I know she's old, but this just goes to show you God can and will do whatever he wants with whoever he wants. 37 God can do anything!"

38 Mary sat there a second, thinking about everything Gabriel had told her. Finally, she said, "I'll do whatever God needs me to do." And Gabriel went away.

Mary Pays Elizabeth a Visit

39 Mary gathered up some things and went quickly to a village in the hill country of Judea. 40 She showed up at Zechariah's house, 41 and as soon as she said hello to Elizabeth, the soon-to-be born baby jerked inside her. The Holy Spirit filled Elizabeth at her baby's reaction.

42 Elizabeth squealed with excitement as she said to Mary, "God has blessed you more than any other woman in history. And he has blessed your baby. 43 You will be the mother of my Lord, and you've come to my house. I can't believe this is even happening to me! 44 When I heard your voice, my baby jumped for joy inside of me. 45 You are blessed because you believed what God told you."

46 Then Mary humbly said, "I'm happy to give my heart to God. 47 I love that God has saved me. 48 There is nothing special about me, but he has shown his lowly servant just how much he loves me. From this point forward, everyone will remember how much God has shown kindness to me. 49 There's no doubt of the great things our powerful God has done for me. His name is holy and above all others. 50 He shows mercy to those who bow down before him. 51 He stretched out his arm and did miraculous things. He scatters the proud like a heeler dog on new cattle. He doesn't take kindly to people who think they are more important than others. 52 He's brought down kings and raised up the lowly. 53 He's filled the hungry with blessings and left the wealthy with nothing but money. 54 God's given a hand to Israel—the folks he's decided to call his own. He didn't forget his promise to take care of us. 55 He's fulfilled his promise to our ancestors. He made good what he told Abraham and his kids, forever."

56 Mary stayed there with Elizabeth for about three months and then headed back to Nazareth.

57 When the time came, Elizabeth gave birth to a boy. 58 Everyone was happy because of what God had done for her.

59 When the baby was about eight days old, it was time for his pickle to be clipped. Everyone wanted to name him after his daddy, 60 but Elizabeth said his name would be John.

61 A few people spoke up and said, "But why would you name him that? You ain't got a single person in your family named John." 62 Then they turned to Zechariah and used some hand talk to try to ask him what he wanted the baby's name to be.

63 Zechariah motioned for something to write on. Then he wrote, "His name is John." Nobody could believe it. This was highly unusual. 64 Just then, God popped the dally on Zechariah's tongue, and he could talk again. The first thing he did was start praising the Lord. 65 God was doing such great things that it spooked most of the people. In all the hill country of Judea, people were freaking out about the things that had happened. 66 Everyone wondered what this child would become, but there wasn't any doubt that the Lord was with him.

Zechariah Tells of What Is to Come

67 The Holy Spirit filled Zechariah, and he gave everyone a message from God, 68 "Praise be to the Boss of Israel. He's come to lend a hand to his people and freed them in the process. 69 He has given us a cowboy from the lineage of David that will save us. 70 God's been telling us he was going to do this since he first told the prophets about it. 71 This cowboy will save us from our enemies. No longer do we have to hunker in the brush afraid. 72 God told us that he would show us mercy, and he has remembered his promise. 73 He gave his word to Abraham 74 that he would whip our enemies and allow us to serve him without fear. 75 We would serve him by becoming like him and doing things the right way as long as we live. 76 And listen, my little child, you will be called a prophet of the Boss. You will blaze a trail for the Top Hand. 77 You'll tell them that they will have salvation through the forgiveness of their sins. 78 A new day is shining down on us through the mercy of God. 79 It'll be a campfire in the darkness. Not even the shadow of death can hide the light that will guide us down the trail that will bring us peace."

80 John grew up healthy in body and spirit. When he was older, he lived way out in the country. He stayed there until it was time to tell everyone God's message.

 
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