Lectionary Calendar
Wednesday, December 4th, 2024
the First Week of Advent
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Read the Bible

Simplified Cowboy Version

Acts 9

1 Meanwhile, Saul was in a blood rage. He threatened to kill every cowboy who rode for Jesus. He went to the head preacher 2 and asked for a warrant he could take to the churches in Damascus. The order would seek the church's cooperation in ferreting out those who rode for the Way. He wanted to round them up and bring them back to Jerusalem in shackles.

3 He got the warrant and was riding fast toward Damascus when a bright light consumed him on the trail. 4 He hit the ground hard and heard a voice saying, "Saul! Saul! Why are you hell-bent on trying to destroy me?"

5 Saul's voice shook as he said, "Who are you, Lord?"

The voice said, "It's me, Jesus. The one you are out to get. 6 Now get back on and go to the city. Wait there, and you'll be told what to do."

7 The men riding with Saul couldn't believe what was happening. They heard a voice but saw nothing other than Saul falling to the ground. 8 Saul got up, but when he opened his eyes, he was blind. His friends led his horse all the way to Damascus. 9 He stayed there three days without eating or drinking anything.

10 There was a rider for the Way living in Damascus named, Ananias. The Lord spoke to him in a dream and said, "Ananias!"

"I'm here," said the man.

11 "Head over to a place on Straight Road where Judas lives. When you get there, ask for a fellow called Saul of Tarsus. He is there praying to me right now. 12 I have given him a vision of a cowboy named Ananias who will come in and lay his hands on him so he can see again."

13 "Whoa, wait just a minute, Lord." Ananias said. "This guy is bad news to those of us who ride for you. 14 He has a warrant out for every cowboy who follows you."

15 But Jesus said, "Head out. I've chosen Saul to be my cowboy to the Gentiles, kings, as well as the people of Israel. 16 I'm going to show him how hard it is to be one of my cowboys."

17 Ananias saddled up and went and found Saul. He put his hands on him and said, "Saul, my new brother, the Lord Jesus showed himself to you on the trail and sent me here to heal your eyes. You will also be filled with the Holy Ghost." 18 Right then Saul's eyes were opened, and something like scales fell from them. He got up and immediately got baptized. 19 Afterward he got him some grub and got his strength back.

Saul Is Hunted

Saul hunkered down with some cowboys of the Way in Damascus for a while. 20 He didn't waste any time telling folks anywhere and everywhere that Jesus was the Son of God.

21 No one could believe what they were hearing from him. "Isn't this the guy who'd waged war on Jesus's cowboys in Jerusalem?" they asked. "I thought he'd got a warrant to roundup anyone who believed in Jesus and take them back to Jerusalem in shackles?" 22 But all this controversy just strengthened Saul's message, and he showed them God was with him by proving to a bunch of Jews living in Damascus that Jesus was the Top Hand everyone had been waiting on.

23 This sure enough stirred up the hornet's nest and the Jews began to plan Saul's assassination. 24 They waited in ambush at the city gates, but Saul found out about it. 25 Some guys who rode for the brand helped Saul out of the city by lowering him in a basket over the wall.

26 He hightailed it for Jerusalem to meet with the twelve cowboys, but they were all afraid of him. They didn't really believe he had been converted, but that it was a plot to have them arrested. 27 But Barnabas helped him out and took him to the cowboys. He told the men how Saul had come face to face with Jesus on the road to Damascus and he'd had to escape the city in secret because of his preaching about Jesus being the Top Hand. Barnabas told them about Saul's fearlessness in preaching. 28 So the cowboys let him stay with them. Saul went all throughout Jerusalem and preached boldly in the name of the Lord. 29 He got into it with some Jews from Greece, and they tried to kill him over it. 30 When the believers found out, they smuggled him to Caesarea and sent him off to Tarsus.

31 During this time, God's outfit grew in number because folks lived in fear of the Lord and they were all being led by the Holy Ghost.

Pete Heals and Brings Back the Dead

32 Pete took the outside circle and traveled around. He came to a town called Lydda and hung out with some believers there. 33 He met a man named, Aeneas, who'd been crippled and in bed for eight years. 34 Pete said to him, "Get up, cowboy. Jesus Christ has healed you. Roll up your bedroll and get on with life." Instantly, the man was healed. 35 When the good people around the area saw Aeneas walking around, they all came to be believers and ride for the Lord.

36 There was a good lady named Tabitha who lived in nearby Joppa. She was always helping the poor and doing kind things. 37 About then, she got sick and died. Her body was prepared for the funeral and she was held in an upstairs room. 38 When some folks who rode for the Lord heard Pete was in the area, they sent for him to come immediately.

39 Pete showed up and they took him upstairs where Tabitha was. The room was like a set of shipping pens filled with cattle. But it was folks who were all mourning the loss of a great woman. They cried and showed Pete the clothes and coats Tabitha had made for them. 40 Pete opened the door and asked them all to wait outside. When they were gone, he went to his knees and prayed. Turning his gaze upon Tabitha's body, he said, "Get up, sweetheart." Her eyes opened and she turned toward Pete. When she saw him, she sat up. 41 He gave her a hand and she swung her legs over the edge of the table. Pete then went to the door and invited all the mourners inside. He nodded toward her and nobody could believe what they saw.

42 Now this news spread fast throughout the whole countryside. Folks were giving their lives to the Lord left and right. 43 Pete stayed in Joppa a long time with a cowboy named Simon, who was a hide tanner.

 
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