Lectionary Calendar
Wednesday, December 4th, 2024
the First Week of Advent
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Read the Bible

Simplified Cowboy Version

Acts 28

1 Once everyone was accounted for, we found out we had crash-landed on the island of Malta. 2 The people there were incredibly kind to us all. They built a large fire and insisted we all warm ourselves. 3 Paul was helping gather firewood. He carried it over to the fire and threw it on. A rattlesnake had been in the wood, and it slithered out quickly and bit Paul on the hand. It held on like a pit bull. 4 The people from Malta saw what happened and some of them said, "He must be guilty. The sea didn't take him so the land will. Justice will be served." 5 But Paul pulled the snake off his hand and threw it in the fire. He kept working like nothing ever happened. 6 The people changed their mind about him then and thought he was a god.

7 There was a large ranch nearby that belonged to one of the head honchos of the island named Publius. He welcomed everyone to stay there and took care of everyone for three days. 8 The ranch owner's father was sick in bed. He had a bad case of the scours and a fever that wouldn't break. Paul went in to see him and put his hands on the sick man in prayer. Then the old boy got up as if nothing had ever been wrong. 9 Word got out and all the sick came to Paul. All were healed. 10 Because of this, everyone who had been on the ship was treated with great honor. When the time came to leave, they provisioned us with all we needed.

11 We had stayed in Malta for three months before we began our journey again. We were given a ship with two gods on the figurehead. 12 We reached Syracuse and stayed there three days. 13 From there we sailed to Rhegium. The next day there was a favorable wind and we made it all the way to Puteoli. 14 We ran into some cowboys of the Way, and they invited us to spend a week with them. And then we went toward Rome. 15 The believers there had heard we were coming and came out to meet us. The sight of the cowboys riding and waving filled Paul with thanks to God. 16 When we finally got to Rome, Paul was given a place to live all by himself, but a guard was placed at his door.

17 Three days later, Paul called all the local Jewish leaders together for a meeting. He quieted everyone down and then said, "I have done nothing against any Jewish law or custom. But despite this, they arrested me in Jerusalem and handed me over the Romans for execution. 18 After a trial, the Romans found me not guilty. 19 But the Jews objected and kept up their pressure on the local Roman government. I was forced to appeal to Caesar. My hand was forced even though I never wanted to bring any charges against my own people. 20 I invited y'all here today so I could explain myself. And also explain that I believe the hope of all our ancestors—the Top Hand—has already come to save us all."

21 They all looked a little perplexed and said, "We haven't heard from anyone in Jerusalem and have not heard anything bad about you. 22 But we have heard about those who ride for the Way. We'd like to hear more about this because some of the things we've heard haven't been all that great."

23 They all agreed on a time to meet again. Every single time they met, more and more people came to hear what Paul had to say. He preached and taught about Jesus all day long and often into the night. He brought everything together from the code of Moses to the Prophets and even to God's outfit. He held nothing about Jesus back from them. 24 A few came to see the truth, but others were too stubborn to turn from their ways. 25 They argued amongst themselves and began to leave when Paul finished saying, "It was the Holy Spirit who told the truth to Isaiah and said, 26 'Go tell 'em this, "You'll hear, but you won't listen; you'll see, but you won't notice what it is. 27 For these people's hearts are like a blacksmith's callused hands. They don't hear with their ears. They have sown their own eyes shut. If not, they would see with their eyes, hear with their ears, understand with their hearts, And if all of this happened, I would heal them."'

28 "You've heard the truth now and what you do with it is your business. But God now offers eternity to the mavericks . . . and they listen and receive it gladly!"

30 For two years, Paul taught out of his little rented shack. He welcomed any who came and never turned anyone away. 31 He taught about God's outfit and showed people how to ride for Jesus. He did so boldly and wouldn't let anyone stop him . . . as a real man should.

 
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