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Paul and the Wannabe Cowboys

¹ What I need from y'all right now though is a little patience for a cowboy who has been on the trail for a long time. ² You see, I've promised you to Jesus like a father promising his virgin daughter to a king. ³ But I think y'all are anything but pure. Y'all have passed yourselves around like a bad cold. Your loyalty to the brand has been corrupted. Y'all have been seduced like Eve was in the beginning. ⁴ There are wannabe cowboys showing up preaching a different Jesus than we did. Instead of running them off, y'all invite them in, listen, and pat them on the back. Can you not see the truth or can you not tell the difference between a drugstore cowboy and a real hand preaching the truth?

⁵ But I don't think I'm any less of a cowboy than those other "top hands." ⁶ I may not be a great speaker, but that don't mean the knowledge I have isn't valuable. This has been clear to y'all from the start.

⁷ I brought y'all the good news like a neighbor at branding time. I came to serve and did so without pay. I did the hard work and never complained or demanded to rope. Do you think I should have done something different? ⁸ Sure, I accepted some pay from some other outfits, but that was just so I could get to y'all and help out. ⁹ When my groceries ran out, I didn't come and bother y'all with it. I was never a burden on anyone. The cowboys who came from Macedonia gave me everything I needed, not y'all. I refused to be a burden to y'all. ¹⁰ As surely as Jesus is Lord and lives in me, no one will ever keep me from bragging about how I worked for y'all. ¹¹ Why did I do it? Why did I work so hard without being a burden? Do you think it's because I don't care about y'all? Only God knows how much I love y'all.

¹² I'm going to continue to ride for y'all this way. That way you will be able to tell the difference in a real cowboy and one who comes riding in with shiny silver on his saddle and fancy words on his tongue. These charlatans say they do the same things we do, but you'll be able to spot the difference a mile away. ¹³ They are wannabe cowboys, charlatans and gunsels, all hat and no cattle! They only pretend to ride for the brand. ¹⁴ Of course, this is of no surprise to us. Even the devil likes to dress up like an angel. ¹⁵ If he does that, of course his servants will play dress up as well. But when the big sorting arrives, we will see who is sorted in and out of the narrow gate.

Paul's Rough Ride

¹⁶ I ain't no fool, but if that's what you think, then bear with this foolish cowboy a little longer. That way I can brag a little bit. ¹⁷ And when I do, I'm not talking like the Boss would talk. You see? I am a fool. ¹⁸ Other cowboys are bragging about their wild rides so I will too. ¹⁹ Y'all are the wise ones, so put up with me for a little spell. ²⁰ I'm only talking like this to show y'all that you are constantly putting up with fools. You welcome those who use you and force y'all into doing things you know ain't right. Y'all put up with smooth-talking drugstore cowboys, those who take advantage of you, control the things you say and do, and even those who push you around like they own you or something. ²¹ I guess I should say that if you think that's what strength is, then my crew is just a bunch of pansies. We'd never treat y'all like that.

But whatever they can brag about, I can brag about too! (I'm talking facetiously again if you haven't caught on yet.) ²² They say they are Hebrew? Me too! They say they are Israelites? Me too! They are descendants of Abraham? Me too! ²³ Do they ride for the brand? Even talking like this to make a point makes me throw up a little bit, but I've ridden for Jesus much longer and much harder than they have. I've been thrown in jail, bullwhipped more times than I can count, and faced death time and time again.

²⁴ Five different times, the Jews have given me the maximum punishment of thirty-nine lashes with a stock whip. ²⁵ Three times I was beaten with axe handles. Once, they hurled big rocks down on me until they thought I was dead. Three different times I have survived ship wrecks and once spent an entire night and day drifting on a piece of wood at sea. ²⁶ I've taken the outside in this gathering and rode at a long trot on many perilous journeys. I've faced raging rivers and bloodthirsty bandits. I've had showdowns in the street with my own people, the Jews, as well as from the outsider Gentiles. I've ridden through hell in cities, deserts, and even on the open sea. I've gone toe to toe with cowboys who pretended to ride for the brand, but really were trying to get close enough to stab me in the back.

²⁷ I have ridden the rough string and the rough trails. Most of the time I got little sleep. Many times I had no food or water. I've been in bad cold weather without a coat. ²⁸ And of all the problems I have, the main one is how much I care about all the outfits. I worry about these crews of believers every single day. ²⁹ I feel the desperation when someone reaches the end of their rope. It kills me every time a cowboy rides back to a life of sin.

³⁰ But if I'm going to brag, it's going to be about the things I am weak at. ³¹ God knows I'm telling the truth. He's Jesus's daddy and the only one worthy of praise. ³² When I was in Damascus, the governor posted spies at all the gates so they could find me and arrest me. ³³ But some friends put me in a trunk and lowered me down the outside wall of the city. That's the only way I made it out alive.