Read the Bible

¹ These are the sayings
    and the message
    of Agur son of Jakeh.
Someone cries out to God,
    "I am completely worn out!
    How can I last?^[a]
2 I am far too stupid
    to be considered human.
³ I never was wise,
    and I don't understand
    what God is like."

⁴ Has anyone gone up to heaven
    and come back down?
    Has anyone grabbed hold
    of the wind?
Has anyone wrapped up the sea
    or marked out boundaries
    for the earth?
If you know of any
    who have done such things,
    then tell me their names
    and their children's names.

⁵ Everything God says is true—
    and it's a shield for all
    who come to him for safety.
⁶ Don't change what God has said!
    He will correct you and show
    that you are a liar.

⁷ There are two things, Lord,
    I want you to do for me
    before I die:
⁸ Make me absolutely honest
and don't let me be too poor
    or too rich.
    Give me just what I need.
⁹ If I have too much to eat,
    I might forget about you;
if I don't have enough,
    I might steal
    and disgrace your name.

¹⁰ Don't tell a slave owner
something bad
    about one
    of the slaves.
That slave will curse you,
    and you will be in trouble.

¹¹ Some people curse their father
    and even their mother;
¹² others think they are perfect,
    but they are stained by sin.
¹³ Some people are stuck-up
    and act like snobs;
¹⁴ others are so greedy
that they gobble down
    the poor and homeless.

¹⁵ Greed^[b] has twins,
    each named "Give me!"
There are three or four things
    that are never satisfied:
¹⁶     The world of the dead
    and a childless wife,
    the thirsty earth
    and a flaming fire.

¹⁷ Don't make fun of your father
    or disobey your mother—
crows will peck out your eyes,
    and buzzards will eat
    the rest of you.

¹⁸ There are three or four things
    I cannot understand:
¹⁹ How eagles fly so high
    or snakes crawl on rocks,
    how ships sail the ocean
    or people fall in love.

²⁰ An unfaithful wife says,
    "Sleeping with another man
    is as natural as eating."

²¹ There are three or four things
    that make the earth tremble
    and are unbearable:
²² A slave who becomes king,
    a fool who eats too much,
²³ a hateful woman
    who finds a husband,
and a slave
    who takes the place
    of the woman who owns her.

²⁴ On this earth four things
    are small but very wise:
²⁵ Ants, who seem to be feeble,
    but store up food
    all summer long;
²⁶ badgers, who seem to be weak,
    but live among the rocks;
²⁷     locusts, who have no king,
    but march like an army;
²⁸ lizards,^[c] which can be caught
in your hand,
    but sneak into palaces.

²⁹ Three or four creatures
    really strut around:
³⁰ Those fearless lions
    who rule the jungle,
³¹     those proud roosters,
    those mountain goats,
    and those rulers
    who have no enemies.^[d]

³² If you are foolishly bragging
or planning something evil,
    then stop it now!
³³ If you churn milk
    you get butter;
if you pound on your nose,
    you get blood—
    and if you stay angry,
    you get in trouble.