Pastoral Resources

The most memorable performance was my appearance in concert in Carnegie Hall. The first standup to do so.

Hunger and sex still dominate the primitive mammalian side of human existence, but at the present time it looks as if humanity were within sight of their satisfaction. Permanent plenty, no longer a Utopian dream, awaits the arrival of permanent peace.

It is insight into human nature that is the key to the communicator's skill. For whereas the writer is concerned with what he puts into his writings, the communicator is concerned with what the reader gets out of it. He therefore becomes a student of how people read or listen.

I'm very much an optimist. I don't think I could do my work if I didn't believe there was some kind of hope for humanity.

I like the energy of live performance.

A liberal is a man or a woman or a child who looks forward to a better day, a more tranquil night, and a bright, infinite future.

I don't see a white woman. I see a black woman, even though my mother is white. Knowing that has made my life easier, I think.

I was close to John simply because I liked him as a person. He liked me as a person. We spent a lot of times at one another's houses back in Liverpool. We spent a lot of time together in Germany.

Learn to reverence night and to put away the vulgar fear of it, for, with the banishment of night from the experience of man, there vanishes as well a religious emotion, a poetic mood, which gives depth to the adventure of humanity.

The Beliebers have done some pretty crazy stuff. Last week, the night before I was due to do a show in Germany, four girls went into a dumpster so they could sneak into the building. They climbed in and hid. When the guys working on the truck started getting the garbage they found them straight away. It was crazy.

I had a weird situation were someone used my name to extort money from a woman. He took her for 60 or 80 thousand dollars. He is in prison now. It was on Sally.

Being Sexiest Woman Alive definitely didn't just open all the doors for me, which I thought it would. I thought, 'This is going to be huge for me!' And it really wasn't at all.

Curiosity, n. An objectionable quality of the female mind. The desire to know whether or not a woman is cursed with curiosity is one of the most active and insatiable passions of the masculine soul.

Clairvoyant, n.: A person, commonly a woman, who has the power of seeing that which is invisible to her patron - namely, that he is a blockhead.

Beauty, n: the power by which a woman charms a lover and terrifies a husband.

Bride: A woman with a fine prospect of happiness behind her.

Let me first state that I believe that marriage is a sacred union between one man and one woman.

As a general thing, when a woman wears the pants in a family, she has a good right to them.

Woman's influence is powerful, especially when she wants something.

If you ever find happiness by hunting for it, you will find it, as the old woman did her lost spectacles, safe on her own nose all the time.