Verse-by-Verse Bible Commentary
Proverbs 5:17

Clarke's Commentary

Verse Proverbs 5:17. Let them be only thine own — The off-spring of a legitimate connection; a bastard brood, however numerous, is no credit to any man.

Bridgeway Bible Commentary

Temptations to sexual immorality (5:1-23)

Strong warning is given to beware of the prostitute and the temptations she offers. (The frequency of this warning in Proverbs indicates that prostitution must have been a widespread social evil at the time.) The pleasure that the prostitute brings is shortlived, but the bitterness that follows is lasting. It leads eventually to death (5:1-6).
A man must flee the temptations offered by such immoral company, otherwise he may finish a physical and moral ruin. Moreover, he could find that he loses his possessions to those who have mercilessly deceived him (7-10). In addition to being disgraced by his own conduct, he will be overcome by despair as he thinks back on his stupidity in refusing to heed advice (11-14).
The married man should be faithful to his wife and seek his sexual pleasures in her alone. He should seek no pleasures from the immoral women who move around the streets and market places trying to seduce people (15-20). Married or single, a man must bear in mind that God sees everything. He must remember also that if he lacks self-discipline he will fall to temptation and eventually bring suffering upon himself (21-23).

Coffman's Commentaries on the Bible

THE CALL TO CHERISH HOLY LOVE IN MARRIAGE

"Drink waters out of thine own cistern, And running waters out of thine own well. Should thy springs be dispersed abroad, And streams of waters in the streets? Let them be for thyself alone, And not for strangers with thee. Let thy fountain be blessed; And rejoice in the wife of thy youth. As a loving hind and a pleasant doe, Let her breasts satisfy thee at all times; And be thou ravished always with her love."

"Here the teacher passes to positive instructions on the sacred joy of a pure and happy marriage in terminology similar to the Song of Solomon."The New Bible Commentary, Revised, p. 555. "These verses are the heart of the chapter. They exalt the marriage relationship."The Teachers' Bible Commentary, p. 361. This emphasizes the God-given purpose of sexual powers and God's containment of this blessing within the context of the family and his absolute prohibition of its promiscuous and sinful use otherwise. "Thou shalt not commit adultery" is God's commandment in both the Old Testament and the New Testament.

"Thine own cistern… thine own well… thy fountain" All of these metaphors are for one's wife; and the "springs" and "streams" of Proverbs 5:16 are metaphors for one's children. The adulterer's children are "dispersed abroad" and found in the streets (Proverbs 5:16). He never knows where or how many they may be. "Promiscuous and unlawful sex relations throw doubt upon the paternity of children."The Pulpit Commentary, op. cit., p. 112.

"The language here is frankly erotic, a rare emphasis in Scripture, but it is highly important to see sexual delight in marriage as a God-given blessing; and history confirms that when marriage is viewed merely as a business arrangement, not only is God's bounty misunderstood, but human passion seeks other outlets."Tyndale Old Testament Commentaries, op. cit., p. 70.

"As a loving hind and a pleasant doe" Here we have other figurative references to a loving wife. "In the whole cycle of Arabian and Persian poetry the antelope (deer) and the gazelle are the chosen images of beauty."Barnes' Notes on the Old Testament (Grand Rapids: Baker Book House, a 1987 reprint of the 1878 edition), op. cit., p. 25 Acts 9:36 tells us of a Christian woman named Dorcas, which means `gazelle'; and Tabitha is the Aramaic version of the same name.S. F. Hunter in International Standard Bible Encyclopedia (Chicago, Illinois: The Howard-Severance Company, 1915), p. 870.

Smith's Bible Commentary

Chapter 5

Now my son, attend unto my wisdom, bow your ear to my understanding: That you may regard discretion, and that your lips may keep knowledge ( Proverbs 5:1 , Proverbs 5:2 ).

And now he's going to warn his son again about the strange woman.

For the lips of a strange woman drop as a honeycomb, and her mouth is smoother than oil: But her end is bitter as wormwood ( Proverbs 5:3-4 ),

Now, though her lips drop like a honeycomb, all the sweetness and sugar and all, yet the end is bitter. Bitter as wormwood. And though her mouth is smoother than oil, in the end it's like

a two-edged sword ( Proverbs 5:4 ).

It'll cut you to pieces.

Her feet go down to death; her steps take hold on hell ( Proverbs 5:5 ).

Actually, he's talking here, of course, a prostitute, an adulterous woman, strange woman.

Lest you should ponder the path of life, her ways are moveable, that you cannot know them. Hear me now therefore, O ye children, do not depart from the words of my mouth. Remove your way far from her, do not come near the door of her house: Lest you give your honor to others, and your years unto the cruel: Lest strangers be filled with your wealth; and your labors be in the house of a stranger; And you mourn in the end, when your flesh and body are consumed ( Proverbs 5:6-11 ),

When you have contracted some venereal disease.

And you say, How have I hated instruction, and my heart despised reproof ( Proverbs 5:12 );

How can I do such a stupid thing? Why did I do that? And save yourself all the remorse of your own folly.

And you have not obeyed the voice of your teachers, nor inclined your ear to those that instructed! ( Proverbs 5:13 )

You cry out, "Why didn't I obey the voice of my teachers? Why didn't I listen to those that were instructing me?"

I was almost in all evil in the midst of the congregation and assembly. Now drink waters out of your own cistern, and running waters out of your own well ( Proverbs 5:14-15 ).

In other words, enjoy the marital relationship with your own wife. Drink the waters of your own cistern, of your own well. Don't go looking for strange water.

Lest thy fountains be dispersed abroad, and the rivers of water in the streets ( Proverbs 5:16 ).

Lest you just chase after anything that goes down the street. Keep yourself actually pure.

And with your own wife, and not with a stranger. Let your fountain of life be blessed: and rejoice with the wife of your youth. Let her be as a loving hind, as a pleasant roe; let her breasts satisfy thee at all times; and be thou ravished always with her love ( Proverbs 5:17-19 ).

The Bible speaks so much of the beauty of the love and the love relationship within marriage. God has ordained marriage. In the beginning when God made them male and female. He said, "For this cause shall a man leave his mother and father, and cleave to his wife: and they two shall become one flesh. Therefore, that which God has joined together, let no man put asunder" ( Matthew 19:5-6 ). Now when God created us and He created our bodies, in a true understanding of the scriptural teaching, the real you is not your body. The real you is spirit that dwells in your body. But as my spirit is dwelling in my body, my body does have certain appetites, certain drives, certain needs. There are certain hormones and chemicals and all that work in my body. And these working through the glands, sends signals to my brain, and they keep my body in balance.

If I run around the church, I am burning up a lot of oxygen. And as the oxygen burns up, as the oxygen is being carried by the blood to the various cells of my body that they might burn, the muscles and so forth, that they might burn this oxygen. The byproduct of the burnt oxygen is carbon dioxide. And as this carbon dioxide begins to fill up in my bloodstream, as it gets to a certain level, it sends a message to my brain and it says, "There's too much carbon dioxide in the blood. You need to get rid of it and the cells are needing some fresh oxygen supply." And my brain responds to these chemical messages that are coming to it as the body is monitoring its own chemical structures. And so the brain sends the message to the lungs to start pumping. It sends a message to the heart, "Get to working. Start really pumping it through." And to the lungs, "Get to really pumping also." And so I start to pant and my heartbeat increases. And thus, I am exhaling the carbon dioxide, the waste materials, and I'm inhaling the fresh oxygen to give fresh shots through my whole system. And this is known as the homeostasis; it keeps my body in balance.

Now if the moisture level gets low in my body, again, a message is sent to my brain, "You're needing more moisture." And it sends a message to my throat. It gets dry. Man, I got to have a drink of water, you know. I've been out perspiring and my moisture level gets down to a dangerous level. And so the chemicals, they respond and I get thirsty.

Now God has built in these systems and they're marvelous. If He didn't build in these little systems, when you ran around and all, you just fall over and you could actually die. With all of that extra carbon dioxide in your blood and without the oxygen you need, you'd pass out soon. You wouldn't be able to run very far. You'd run so far, and then you'd just pass out. But God has put these balances and these drives there. The air drive, and the thirst drive, and then, of course, your cells need other types of energy supplies and so you get hungry. Now this is somewhere where the system has gone haywire, I am sure, but I am sure that I don't need to eat as much as I do. But yet I have to eat. That's all a part of the whole system to keep it going.

Now God wanted the earth to be populated by man. And so God created the reproduction organs in the body. And God created strong sexual drives, strong sexual urges. And He made the experience very exciting, very pleasurable in order that children might be born. Otherwise, the human species probably would have disappeared from the world years ago, as man would have found it more pleasurable to go fishing. So it is a God-created drive. The purpose is primarily the populating of the earth. And God has ordained that these drives be satisfied and be fulfilled within the bonds of a marriage covenant, where two persons of opposite sex make a covenant before God that they will love, honor, cherish one another until death separates them. Because God also knows that the children that are born of this relationship need to have the security, the stability of a strong, happy, loving home, lest society disintegrates.

So the whole thing has been planned of God. It's a part of God's process. In its place it is not evil. It's absolutely beautiful and desirable. God has created it in order that it might become a deepest expression of the oneness that does exist between a husband and a wife, where the two become one flesh, joined together, one flesh. And even God has taken this beautiful experience and spiritualized it in likening it unto that relation that exists in the deepest love and the oneness between Christ and His church.

Now, move it out of the environment in which and for which God has created it, and that which was created to be beautiful and meaningful and glorious becomes sinful. Missing the mark. Twisting the use. And it becomes wrong. And it now is laden with feelings of guilt; it has all of its counter issues that come forth from it. It becomes counterproductive.

So God speaks and here, of course, Solomon speaks to his son and he is exhorting him about this beautiful gift that he has from God, fountains of life. Don't go spilling them on the street with just anybody. But enjoy the wife of your youth. "Be ravished always with her love."

And why will you, my son, be ravished with a strange woman, and embrace the bosom of a stranger? ( Proverbs 5:20 )

And now the clincher comes:

For the ways of man are before the eyes of the LORD, and he ponders all of his goings ( Proverbs 5:21 ).

God is watching you. You don't do it in secret. It isn't something that is done in under a cover of darkness. "The ways of man are before the eyes of the Lord, and God ponders all of his goings." Now why is he going there?

His own iniquities will take the wicked himself, and he will be held with the cords of his own sins. He will die without instruction; and in the greatness of his folly he shall go astray ( Proverbs 5:22-23 ).

Just good, clean advice given by the father to his son. It's just good, plain advice for all of us.

Shall we pray.

Father, we pray that we might learn to prize wisdom. May we seek it as a treasure. May we, O God, hate evil. May we not tolerate or give a place for it in our lives. But may we flee in order that we might walk, Lord, in Your way, in the way of truth, of righteousness. And so help us, Lord, to give heed to the instructions, to Your laws, to Your commandments. In Jesus' name. Amen. "

Dr. Constable's Expository Notes

9. Warnings against unfaithfulness in marriage ch. 5

Chapters 5-7 all deal with the consequences of sexual sins: eventual disappointment (ch. 5), gradual destruction (ch. 6), and ultimate death (ch. 7). [Note: Wiersbe, p. 48.] Chapter 5 first reveals the ugliness under the surface of the attractive seductress (Proverbs 5:1-6). Then it clarifies the price of unfaithfulness (Proverbs 5:7-14). Finally it extols the wisdom of marital fidelity (Proverbs 5:15-23).

Dr. Constable's Expository Notes

The importance of fidelity 5:15-23

Proverbs 5:15-23 point out a better way, namely: fidelity to one’s marriage partner. Strict faithfulness need not result in unhappiness or failure to experience what is best in life, as the world likes to try to make us think. Rather, it guards us from the heartbreak and tragedy that accompany promiscuity. The figures of a cistern and a well (Proverbs 5:15) refer to one’s wife (cf. Song of Solomon 4:15), who satisfies desire.

The Hebrew text favors taking Proverbs 5:16 as a positive statement ("Let your streams . . .") rather than as a question, as in the NASB. The meaning of Proverbs 5:17-18 then becomes, "The influence of the faithful man (His ’springs’) become a blessing to others." [Note: Kidner, p. 70.] Another view is that the springs and streams in view belong to the man being warned who might share them with a woman of the street. [Note: Ross, 929.]

". . . the wife is viewed not as child-bearer but as pleasure-giver." [Note: Toy, p. 114.]

The erotic language of Proverbs 5:19-20 may be surprising, but it shows that God approves sexual joy in marriage and it is a prophylactic against unfaithfulness (cf. 1 Corinthians 7:5; 1 Corinthians 7:9). A man can either find his exhilaration (Proverbs 5:19, i.e., sexual stimulation, also translated intoxication in Proverbs 20:1 and Isaiah 28:7) in his wife or in another woman. The same Hebrew word reads "go astray" in Proverbs 5:23 b. The issue is self-discipline empowered by God’s Spirit.

"We don’t really understand the meaning of the phrase ’God is love’ (1 John 4:8) until we understand that life is fundamentally relationships. And plenitude of relationship is fullness of life. Paucity of relationship is impoverishment of life." [Note: Larsen, p. 39.]

"Lack of discipline" (RSV, Proverbs 5:23 a) is better than "lack of instruction." People usually do not become unfaithful to their spouses because they do not know better but because they do not choose better. [Note: See Zuck, pp. 239-43, for a summary of the revelation concerning man in Proverbs.]

". . . if the young man is not captivated [Heb. sagah] by his wife but becomes captivated with a stranger in sinful acts, then his own iniquities will captivate him; and he will be led to ruin." [Note: Ross, p. 931.]

"There is no ’free love’-only free exploitation." [Note: Larsen, p. 45.]

Gill's Exposition of the Whole Bible

Let them be only thine own, and not strangers' with thee. Or "they shall be thine own" u, as the Targum; meaning not the cistern, the well, or the wife, but the fountains and rivers, or the children; by a man's cleaving to his own wife, who is a chaste and virtuous woman, he is satisfied that the children he has by her are his own, and not another's; whereas if he has to do with a common harlot, it is uncertain whose children they are, she prostituting herself to many: it may be applied to the peculiar possession and steadfast retention of the truths of the Gospel, in opposition to all divers and strange doctrines propagated by others; see Revelation 2:25.

u יהיו לך "erunt tui", Mercerus, Cocceius; "erunt tibi", Baynus; "existent tibi", Schultens.

Henry's Complete Commentary on the Bible

      15 Drink waters out of thine own cistern, and running waters out of thine own well.   16 Let thy fountains be dispersed abroad, and rivers of waters in the streets.   17 Let them be only thine own, and not strangers' with thee.   18 Let thy fountain be blessed: and rejoice with the wife of thy youth.   19 Let her be as the loving hind and pleasant roe; let her breasts satisfy thee at all times; and be thou ravished always with her love.   20 And why wilt thou, my son, be ravished with a strange woman, and embrace the bosom of a stranger?   21 For the ways of man are before the eyes of the LORD, and he pondereth all his goings.   22 His own iniquities shall take the wicked himself, and he shall be holden with the cords of his sins.   23 He shall die without instruction; and in the greatness of his folly he shall go astray.

      Solomon, having shown the great evil that there is in adultery and fornication, and all such lewd and filthy courses, here prescribes remedies against them.

      I. Enjoy with satisfaction the comforts of lawful marriage, which was ordained for the prevention of uncleanness, and therefore ought to be made use of in time, lest it should not prove effectual for the cure of that which it might have prevented. Let none complain that God has dealt unkindly with them in forbidding them those pleasures which they have a natural desire of, for he has graciously provided for the regular gratification of them. "Thou mayest not indeed eat of every tree of the garden, but choose thee out one, which thou pleasest, and of that thou mayest freely eat; nature will be content with that, but lust with nothing." God, in thus confining men to one, has been so far from putting any hardship upon them that he has really consulted their true interest; for, as Mr. Herbert observes, "If God had laid all common, certainly man would have been the encloser."--Church-porch. Solomon here enlarges much upon this, not only prescribing it as an antidote, but urging it as an argument against fornication, that the allowed pleasures of marriage (however wicked wits may ridicule them, who are factors for the unclean spirit) far transcend all the false forbidden pleasures of whoredom.

      1. Let young men marry, marry and not burn. Have a cistern, a well of thy own (Proverbs 5:15; Proverbs 5:15), even the wife of thy youth,Proverbs 5:18; Proverbs 5:18. Wholly abstain, or wed.--Herbert. "The world is wide, and there are varieties of accomplishments, among which thou mayest please thyself."

      2. Let him that is married take delight in his wife, and let him be very fond of her, not only because she is the wife that he himself has chosen and he ought to be pleased with his own choice, but because she is the wife that God in his providence appointed for him and he ought much more to be pleased with the divine appointment, pleased with her because she is his own. Let thy fountain be blessed (Proverbs 5:18; Proverbs 5:18); think thyself very happy in her, look upon her as a blessed wife, let her have thy blessing, pray daily for her, and then rejoice with her. Those comforts we are likely to have joy of that are sanctified to us by prayer and the blessing of God. It is not only allowed us, but commanded us, to be pleasant with our relations; and it particularly becomes yoke-fellows to rejoice together and in each other. Mutual delight is the bond of mutual fidelity. It is not only taken for granted that the bridegroom rejoices over his bride (Isaiah 62:5), but given for law. Ecclesiastes 9:9, Live joyfully with the wife whom thou lovest all the days of thy life. Those take not their comforts where God has appointed who are jovial and merry with their companions abroad, but sour and morose with their families at home.

      3. Let him be fond of his wife and love her dearly (Proverbs 5:19; Proverbs 5:19): Let her be as the loving hind and the pleasant roe, such as great men sometimes kept tame in their houses and played with. Desire no better diversion from severe study and business than the innocent and pleasant conversation of thy own wife; let her lie in thy bosom, as the poor man's ewe-lamb did in his (2 Samuel 12:3), and do thou repose thy head in hers, and let that satisfy thee at all times; and seek not for pleasure in any other. "Err thou always in her love. If thou wilt suffer thy love to run into an excess, and wilt be dotingly fond of any body, let it be only of thy own wife, where there is least danger of exceeding." This is drinking waters, to quench the thirst of thy appetite, out of thy own cistern, and running waters, which are clear, and sweet, and wholesome, out of thy own well,Proverbs 5:15; 1 Corinthians 7:2; 1 Corinthians 7:3.

      4. Let him take delight in his children and look upon them with pleasure (Proverbs 5:16; Proverbs 5:17): "Look upon them as streams from thy own pure fountains" (the Jews are said to come forth out of the waters of Judah,Isaiah 48:1), "so that they are parts of thyself, as the streams are of the fountain. Keep to thy own wife, and thou shalt have," (1.) "A numerous offspring, like rivers of water, which run in abundance, and they shall be dispersed abroad, matched into other families, whereas those that commit whoredom shall not increase," Hosea 4:10. (2.) "A peculiar offspring, which shall be only thy own, whereas the children of whoredom, that are fathered upon thee, are, probably, not so, but, for aught thou knowest, are the offspring of strangers, and yet thou must keep them." (3.) "A creditable offspring, which are an honour to thee, and which thou mayest send abroad, and appear with, in the streets, whereas a spurious brood is thy disgrace, and that which thou art ashamed to own." In this matter, virtue has all the pleasure and honour in it; justly therefore it is called wisdom.

      5. Let him then scorn the offer of forbidden pleasures when he is always ravished with the love of a faithful virtuous wife; let him consider what an absurdity it will be for him to be ravished with a strange woman (Proverbs 5:20; Proverbs 5:20), to be in love with a filthy harlot, and embrace the bosom of a stranger, which, if he had any sense of honour or virtue, he would loathe the thoughts of. "Why wilt thou be so sottish, such an enemy to thyself, as to prefer puddle-water, and that poisoned too and stolen, before pure living waters out of thy own well?" Note, If the dictates of reason may be heard, the laws of virtue will be obeyed.

      II. "See the eye of God always upon thee and let his fear rule in thy heart," Proverbs 5:21; Proverbs 5:21. Those that live in this sin promise themselves secresy (the eye of the adulterer waits for the twilight,Job 24:15); but to what purpose, when it cannot be hidden from God? For, 1. He sees it. The ways of man, all his motions, all his actions, are before the eyes of the Lord, all the workings of the heart and all the outgoings of the life, that which is done ever so secretly and disguised ever so artfully. God sees it in a true light, and knows it with all its causes, circumstances, and consequences. He does not cast an eye upon men's ways now and then, but they are always actually in his view and under his inspection; and darest thou sin against God in his sight, and do that wickedness under his eye which thou durst not do in the presence of a man like thyself? 2. He will call the sinner to an account for it; for he not only sees, but ponders all his goings, judges concerning them, as one that will shortly judge the sinner for them. Every action is weighed, and shall be brought into judgment (Ecclesiastes 12:14), which is a good reason why we should ponder the path of our feet (Proverbs 4:26; Proverbs 4:26), and so judge ourselves that we may not be judged.

      III. "Foresee the certain ruin of those that go on still in their trespasses." Those that live in this sin promise themselves impunity, but they deceive themselves; their sin will find them out, Proverbs 5:22; Proverbs 5:23. The apostle gives the sense of these verses in a few words. Hebrews 13:4, Whoremongers and adulterers God will judge. 1. It is a sin which men with great difficulty shake off the power of. When the sinner is old and weak his lusts are strong and active, in calling to remembrance the days of his youth,Ezekiel 23:19. Thus his own iniquities having seized the wicked himself by his own consent, and he having voluntarily surrendered himself a captive to them, he is held in the cords of his own sins, and such full possession they have gained of him that he cannot extricate himself, but in the greatness of his folly (and what greater folly could there be than to yield himself a servant to such cruel task-masters?) he shall go astray, and wander endlessly. Uncleanness is a sin from which, when once men have plunged themselves into it, they very hardly and very rarely recover themselves. 2. It is a sin which, if it be not forsaken, men cannot possibly escape the punishment of; it will unavoidably be their ruin. As their own iniquities do arrest them in the reproaches of conscience and present rebukes (Jeremiah 7:19), so their own iniquities shall arrest them and bind them over to the judgments of God. There needs no prison, no chains; they shall be holden in the cords of their own sins, as the fallen angels, being incurably wicked, are thereby reserved in chains of darkness. The sinner, who, having been often reproved, hardens his neck, shall die at length without instruction. Having had general warnings sufficient given him already, he shall have no particular warnings, but he shall die without seeing his danger beforehand, shall die because he would not receive instruction, but in the greatness of his folly would go astray; and so shall his doom be, he shall never find the way home again. Those that are so foolish as to choose the way of sin are justly left of God to themselves to go in it till they come to that destruction which it leads to, which is a good reason why we should guard with watchfulness and resolution against the allurements of the sensual appetite.