Bible Commentaries
Ephesians 5

Verse 1

1. Therefore be followers of God as dear children. After calling upon the Ephesians to be kind, tenderhearted, and forgiving like God, Paul begins this chapter by asking them to follow God as dear children. God has set the perfect example of forgiving through His Son: “that is, that God was in Christ reconciling the world to Himself, not imputing their trespasses to them” (II Corinthians 5:19), and all are called on to imitate His example. To do this we must follow as “dear children.” Paul is not calling on these Christians to be childish, but rather, to be humble like children (cf. Matthew 19:14). To be converted and become like children is the only way to enter the kingdom of heaven (Matthew 18:3).

Verse 2

2. And walk in love, as Christ also has loved us and given Himself for us, an offering and a sacrifice to God for a sweet smelling aroma. It is not enough to say we love our brethren. Love must be set in motion. To walk in love requires continuous motion and action. And what kind of love does Paul require? The kind illustrated by Jesus, the perfect example when He went to the cross for all: "who died for us, that whether we wake or sleep, we should live together with Him" (I Thessalonians 5:10; II Timothy 2:11; I John 4:9). His offering had a "sweet smelling aroma" to God, which means that it pleased Him. When Christians walk in love with the spirit of sacrifice in their actions, they also are pleasing to God. This represents the way we are to follow in His footsteps: "For to this you were called, because Christ also suffered for us, leaving us an example, that you should follow His steps" (I Peter 2:21).

Verse 3

3. But fornication and all uncleanness or covetousness, let it not even be named among you, as is fitting for saints;. Motivated by Christ’s love, the Christian is to flee fornication, lustful unclean living, and greedy desires. In fact, these things are not even to be mentioned in any positive way, as the world does. Among Christians, these things should be mentioned only to condemn them.

Verse 4

4. Neither filthiness, nor foolish talking, nor coarse jesting, which are not fitting, but rather giving of thanks. They must also avoid base and lewd conduct, foolish talking, and jests with double meanings, which do not come up to the standard Christ has set for Christians. Jesting refers to speech that is nimble-witted, or easily turned, especially toward a bad meaning. So often the jesting of the world is based on double meanings. Jokes are created that can be taken with two meanings-one harmless, the other shady. Many comedians think they are not funny unless they utter a few such jokes. Such is never fitting for the Christian, and he will avoid all this kind of speech. A tongue turned loose in foolish talk and coarse jesting will "defile the whole body, set on fire the course of nature; and is set on fire by hell" (James 3:6). The same tongue that can do all this (James 3:1-12), when bridled (James 1:26), can also give thanks to God, and this is what Paul wishes for them to do.

Verse 5

5. For this you know, that no fornicator, unclean person, nor covetous man, who is an idolater, has any inheritance in the kingdom of Christ and God. Paul gives a second reason why all evil practices should be avoided. In addition to the fact that such is not fitting, he reminds the Ephesians that those who engage in such acts will not inherit the kingdom of Christ (i.e., eternal life or heaven). Why? These evils are of the devil, and those that live by them are cut off from God. These things represent the world, and make those who practice them an enemy of God: "Adulterers and adulteresses! Do you not know that friendship with the world is enmity with God? Whoever therefore wants to be a friend of the world makes himself an enemy of God" (James 4:4). We seem to think idolatry is something that only affects heathens. Conversely, the Bible teaches us that idols are not just to be found on pagan altars, but they exist in the hearts and minds of well-educated people as well (cf. Ezekiel 14). The apostle John warns Christians to keep themselves from idols (I John 5:21). In his Corinthian letter, Paul instructs them to flee from idolatry (I Corinthians 10:14). In this passage and in Colossians 3:5, he informs his readers that idolatry is something that can affect us all.

Verse 6

6. Let no one deceive you with empty words, for because of these things the wrath of God comes upon the sons of disobedience. Gnosticism, a religion already causing problems for Christians, taught that what the body does has no effect on the inner man. Thus, those who advocated this religion believed it was fine to engage in all these unclean sexual acts. However, Paul refers to such teaching as "empty words," and warns about being deceived. In Colossians 2:8, he wrote, "Beware lest anyone cheat you through philosophy and empty deceit, according to the tradition of men, according to the basic principles of the world, and not according to Christ," and in Romans 1:18, "For the wrath of God is revealed from heaven against all ungodliness and unrighteousness of men, who suppress the truth in unrighteousness." Deception is still one of the devil’s most effective tools (Genesis 3:4; II Corinthians 11:3), and the Christian must always be on guard against it. The devil does not play fair!

Verse 7

7. Therefore do not be partakers with them.

Verse 8

8. For you were once darkness, but now you are light in the Lord. Walk as children of light. To help these Christians see where they were, compared to where they are now, Paul uses a common illustration-light and darkness. God and His kingdom are always referred to as light. On the other hand, the devil and his kingdom are always referred to as darkness: “He has delivered us from the power of darkness and translated us into the kingdom of the Son of His love” (Colossians 1:13). The apostle Peter referred to how Christ “called [us] out of darkness into His marvelous light” (I Peter 2:9). When converted, the Christian becomes the light of the world (Matthew 5:14). In other words, the Christian is not just in the light, he is light, just as he was not just in darkness, but was darkness. Christians keep the darkness out by walking as children of light.

Verse 9

9. (For the fruit of the Spirit {is} in all goodness, righteousness, and truth),. When Christians are walking as children of light, they will be bearing the fruit of the Spirit. Instead of those wicked things mentioned in verses 3 and 4, they will be demonstrating goodness, righteousness, and truth. The contrast is as different as day and night or light and darkness.

Verse 10

10. Proving what is acceptable to the Lord. (See Romans 12:2).

Verse 11

11. And have no fellowship with the unfruitful works of darkness, but rather expose them. The Christian, who is light, must have no association with the works of darkness. Such works are called "unfruitful" because they bear no fruit for goodness, righteousness, and truth. In addition to not having any association with the unfruitful works of darkness, the Christian is to go a step further and expose them. This will serve to warn others. Satan tries to make the works of darkness appear to be light, but this is a lie that must be exposed by the truth of God’s word. Satan, himself, appears as an angel of light (II Corinthians 11:14).

Verse 12

12. For it is shameful even to speak of those things which are done by them in secret. Paul continues his warning. They must keep themselves pure for God. They do this by: (1) refraining from associating with darkness, (2) exposing the author of darkness-the devil, and (3) refusing to even speak of the shameful sins committed by them in secret: "men loved darkness rather than light, because their deeds were evil" (John 3:19). A Christian must not contaminate his mind with such filth. In so doing, we "abstain from every form of evil (I Thessalonians 5:22), and avoid being influenced by those who are evil (I Corinthians 15:33).

Verse 13

13. But all things that are exposed are made manifest by the light, for whatever makes manifest is light. One of the characteristics of light is to reveal or expose. Isn’t there a vast difference between things at night and in the day? We stumble in the darkness and lose our way, but in the light all becomes visible. Many hated Jesus and His followers because they exposed their sins (John 3:19), and this is still true today. When one is accustomed to darkness, the light becomes very uncomfortable.

Verse 14

14. Therefore He says: "Awake, you who sleep, arise from the dead, and Christ will give you light." The Lord will not give enlightenment to those who are spiritually dead. Paul said the same thing to the Romans: "And do this, knowing the time, that now it is high time to awake out of sleep; for now our salvation is nearer than when we first believed" (Romans 13:11). The Christian must not slumber. He must be active, and the Lord will gladly give him light.

Verse 15

15. See then that you walk circumspectly, not as fools but as wise,. Once again Paul refers to the figure of walking. One can choose to walk in darkness and find much disappointment, foolishness, and death, or he can choose to walk “circumspectly” (carefully) in the light. In so doing, one is walking wisely.

Verse 16

16. Redeeming the time, because the days are evil. In order to do this, one must take advantage of every opportunity to use time wisely! Why? The times are evil. This is true of all generations. Beware of any inclination to call the days good. We are still living in a perverse generation (Acts 2:40). We will never be able to make a paradise of this sin-sick world. One is to have great confidence in the power of the gospel, but must remember that only a few of all men living at any one time have ever accepted the gospel. Some of the opportunities that come our way will only come once. We must be willing to seize the moment. Although we cannot go back and relive our past, we can take advantage of the moment. Paul regretted his past of persecuting the church (Acts 8:3; I Corinthians 15:9; Galatians 1:3), but this did not stop him from pressing on (Philippians 3:14). This is the kind of wisdom that Paul wants all Christians to walk in as we redeem (lay up for ourselves) the time.

Verse 17

17. Therefore do not be unwise, but understand what the will of the Lord is. Paul expands upon the wisdom he desired for the Ephesians. Because the days are evil and are filled with great temptations, the Christian must always beware of foolish, ungodly, time-wasting conduct. Instead, he is to keep before his mind at all times the will of the Lord. And what is the will of the Lord? That the Christian should keep himself from all the works of darkness.

Verse 18

18. And do not be drunk with wine, in which is dissipation; but be filled with the Spirit,. Drunkenness is condemned in both the Old and New Testaments (Proverbs 12:1; 23:29-35; Isaiah 5:11,22; Romans 13:13; I Corinthians 6:9,10; Galatians 5:21). Drunkenness brings dissipation. "Dissipation" is a translation of the Greek word asotia, and, according to Vine, means "prodigality, a wastefulness, profligacy," i.e., reckless and unrestrained living. The prodigal son supposed, like many today, that wild living (which no doubt included drunkenness) was just great. He eventually learned that such had destroyed his happiness and self-respect (Luke 15:11-32). Instead of being filled with wine, Paul calls on Christians to be filled with the Spirit (i.e., the Holy Spirit, the third person of the Godhead). Paul is talking to individuals who had already received the Holy Spirit upon conversion. Therefore, what he is talking about here is being under the influence of the Holy Spirit’s teaching. Being "filled with the Spirit" is equivalent to being under the influence of (i.e., being guided and led by) the Holy Spirit. He directs us through His word, which he describes later as the sword (or implement) of the Spirit (Ephesians 6:17). Being under the influence of the Holy Spirit, as opposed to being under the influence of wine, which brings dissipation, is that one is filled with love, joy, peace, longsuffering, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control, etc. (Galatians 5:22,23). Being thus filled, believers will give jubilant expression of all this, doing what is mentioned in the next verse.

Verse 19

19. Speaking to one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing and making melody in your heart to the Lord,. The term psalms in all probability has reference to the Old Testament Psalter. Hymns refer mainly to New Testament songs of praise to God and to Christ (cf. verse 14). Finally, spiritual songs probably refer to sacred songs about things other than direct praise to God or to Christ. The drunkard may mumble, moan, and curse, but the Christian that is filled with the Spirit will want to sing from his heart to the Lord. Since Paul mentions "speaking to yourselves," he is referring to the occasions when Christians are assembled together, and not to an individual singing alone. Singing "psalms, hymns, and spiritual songs" is one of the ways Christians are to be taught in the assembly. Those who refuse to sing, refuse to teach! The melody is to be made in their hearts-no mechanical instruments are mentioned (they were added centuries later). In fact, nowhere in the New Testament are Christians told to play anything other than the strings of their hearts.

Verse 20

20. Giving thanks always for all things to God the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ,. "Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God" (Philippians 4:6; I Thessalonians 5:18). God wants us to be thankful! When Jesus took notice that only one of the ten lepers who had been healed returned to thank Him, He said: "Were there not ten cleansed?" "But where are the nine?" (Luke 17:11-19). Where would you be classified-with the one, or with the nine? Jesus is the only mediator between God and man (I Timothy 2:5), consequently, all prayers and thanksgivings must be in His name (John 14:13,14).

Verse 21

21. Submitting to one another in the fear of God. In the duty to be "submitting to one another," the verb hupotasso means "to subject or subordinate," and is parallel to "giving thanks always." The general principle is that Christians must be subject to one another. This voluntary yielding to others is to be a general characteristic of the Christian community and is urged elsewhere in the New Testament. For example, in Philippians 2:3, Paul says, "Let nothing be done through selfish ambition or conceit, but in lowliness of mind let each esteem others better than himself." This voluntary submission is based on the example of Jesus: "who, being in the form of God, did not consider it robbery to be equal with God, but made Himself of no reputation, taking the form of a servant, and coming in the likeness of men. And being found in appearance as a man, He humbled Himself and became obedient to {the point of} death, even the death of the cross" (Philippians 2:5-8). Jesus had always insisted that His followers would have a servant mentality in imitation of Him: "Yet it shall not be so among you; but whoever desires to become great among you, let him be your servant. And whoever desires to be first among you, let him be your slave-just as the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give His life a ransom for many" (Matthew 20:26-28). Furthermore, the apostle Peter instructed young men to submit to older men, and for all Christians to submit to one another (I Peter 5:4,5). This is to be done because they fear God (Christ). Some of the manuscripts read "fear of God," others read "fear of Christ." The teaching in all these manuscripts is the same-Christians are to submit to one another out of fear or reverence (Greek = phobo) for Christ, who is Himself God.

Verse 22

Note: In verses 22 through 33 Paul addresses the specific roles of husbands and wives. By placing the mutual submission of all Christians to one another in verse 21, before stating the specific submission of wives to their husbands mentioned in verses 22 through 30, it seems that Paul wants to remind all Christians, men and women, of their duty to be submissive to one another before reminding wives of their particular responsibility to their husbands in marriage. This puts specific, one-directional subjection in the context of general, mutual submission and relates specific duties, roles, and responsibilities to the general Christian concept of mutual submission. Unfortunately, some make the mistake of thinking mutual submission alone is in view in these verses, and, therefore, wives are not being called to a unique or distinct submission to their husbands. However, since verse 21 is a transition verse to the entirety of the section on household responsibilities, consistency would demand that the sections on children and parents and on servants and masters also speak only of mutual submissiveness and not different roles. Since this is self-evidently not so for the verses on children and parents, on the one hand, and masters and servants, on the other, the implication is that distinguishable roles and specific submission are taught in this section on wives and husbands. Therefore, the mutual submission to which all are called and that defines the larger context and sets the tone for what follows does not, therefore, rule out the specific and different roles and relationships to which husbands and wives are called by these verses. In this section on wives and husbands, Paul presents his teaching along three lines: (1) the role each has (submission, headship), (2) the attitude with which each fulfills his or her role (love, respect), and (3) the analogy of marriage to the relationship of Christ and His church.

22. Wives, submit to your own husbands,. Paul commands wives to “submit to” or be “subject to” their own husbands. The operative verb hupotasso reappears in verse 24, where Paul says wives are to submit to “their own husbands in everything,” “just as the church is subject to Christ.” We know this is the essence of the apostle’s teaching to wives, since in Colossians 3:18 it is the totality of his charge: “Wives, submit to your own husbands, as is fitting in the Lord.” Furthermore, this particular exhortation to the wife to submit to her husband is the universal teaching of the New Testament. Every passage that deals with the relationship of the wife to her husband tells her to “submit to” him, using this same verb (hupotasso): Ephesians 5:22; Colossians 3:18; I Peter 3:1; Titus 2:4f. Distilled down, the teaching is this: Wives be submissive to your husbands. What is meant by submission? In its simplest form, the wife allows her husband to be head. In other words, there is no way a man can carry out his God-given headship without a submissive wife! In this regard there are three types of wives: (1) Those that deny plain Bible teaching. These do not want to submit. (2) Those who believe what the Bible teaches on this subject, but do not practice it. They do this while giving lip-service to the need to obey the Bible teaching. (3) Those that believe the word of God and spend their lives practicing it. This last group may fall short, but they continue to try. Only this third group is pleasing to God. As to the Lord. Certainly, no Christian ought to resent being in subjection to Christ, and if husbands were what they ought to be, their wives should not resent being in subjection to them. Nevertheless, even when all reasonable causes for voluntary subjection are absent (i.e., gentleness, kindness, wisdom, etc.), the wife is still obligated to be submissive to her husband as to the Lord. Marriage is something neither the female nor male ought to enter into lightly.

Verse 23

23. For the husband is head of the wife, as also Christ is head of the church; and He is the Savior of the body. In this verse, Paul gives the basis for his charge to the wives. The husband, he says, is head (kephale) of the wife as Christ is head of the Church. Husbands are given a perfect model to follow in Christ as Head and Savior of His body (the church). Christ will never do anything to harm the church, but will save it. Husbands exercising godly headship will never do anything to harm their wives, but will love, protect, and save them. They will save them from physical harm, from attacks on their character, from unhappiness (when possible), and from spiritual death. Jesus loved the church enough to die for it (Acts 20:28; Ephesians 5:25), and godly husbands will strive for this same kind of love (I Corinthians 13).

Verse 24

24. Therefore, just as the church is subject to Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything. Since husbands have such an awesome responsibility to care for their wives, Paul again calls upon the wives to be subject to their own husbands. When a church refuses to submit to its head, it becomes an unfaithful church, and the same can be said of a wife who is not submissive to her husband. She is not just to submit in the things she likes, or areas where she agrees, but "in everything." This phrase is all-encompassing. In other words, submission includes all aspects of life. This removes the misunderstanding that some may have that submission simply refers to sexual intercourse or some other narrow realm. Since by God’s decree marriage partners are "one flesh," God wants them to function together under one head, not as two autonomous individuals living together. Since Paul is so concerned about this unity, we ought to be also. Paul does not add to the expression "in everything" that all disobedience is excepted (cf. Acts 5:29, "We ought to obey God rather than men"; cf. also Acts 4:19,20). This goes without saying! Nor does he mean to make her a robot and stifle her thinking and acting. Rather, he wants her thinking and acting to be shared with her husband (as his is to be shared with her), and for her to be willing to submit to his leadership in everything. Just as the church should willingly submit to Christ in all things, and, if it does so, will not find that stifling, demeaning, or stultifying of growth and freedom, so also wives should willingly submit to their husbands in all things, and, if they do so, will not find that stifling, demeaning, or stultifying. Does any of this mean that the husband can rule his wife insensitively? Certainly not! The idea that anyone in authority should "lord it over" those he leads is ruled out by Paul elsewhere (II Corinthians 1:24), just as Peter insists that elders must not lord it over those who are obligated to obey them (I Peter 5:3). Paul takes this for granted. The husband has no authority to speak bitterly against his wife (Colossians 3:19), he certainly has no authority to beat or abuse her. (Paul handles the question of the husband’s misuse of power momentarily in his words to husbands.) The important thing for the wife to know is that she is subject to her husband in everything, that is, that her submission involves all aspects of their relationship.

Note: Many Christian women are heard to complain about preachers and teachers always "jumping on" the woman’s role first. Their complaint is that men need to "get right" on this subject also. In truth, both men and women need to understand what it means to be a godly husband and godly wife, but it is interesting to note that instructions to husbands and wives in the New Testament always focus first on wives and their responsibility to submit to their husbands (Ephesians 5:22-24; Colossians 3:18; I Peter 3:1ff.). If the wife will not submit, the husband cannot lead! Both Paul and Peter reaffirm the role relationship God established by creation before they deal with how men and women should conduct themselves in the relationship. The doctrine (the divinely instituted form) must come first, then the practical application (i.e., how one lives within the relationship). This is an important lesson.

Furthermore, Paul always addresses those under authority before those in authority-wives before husbands, children before parents, and servants before masters (Ephesians 5:22-6:9); Colossians 3:18-4:1). The rationale for the first two of these relationships would seem to be that the divinely instituted relationship is best preserved when the divine order inherent in it is made plain by urging compliance on those under authority first, before addressing those in authority. The apostle may then command those in authority to exercise their authority with loving concern that does not run roughshod over those under authority, thereby tempting them to challenge or resist the divinely established relationship (cf. especially 6:4). Having established the divinely given character of the institution and the God-given roles, Paul then spells out the attitudes with which those in that institution should fulfill their respective roles.

Verse 25

25. Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for it,. On this backdrop, Paul now addresses husbands. Love appears six times in 5:25-33, and it denotes the husband’s duty to his wife. It is interesting to note that the husband’s role-his headship-was stated in the section addressed to his wife (verse 23), and not in the section addressed to him. In other words, Paul does not tell the husband, "Be head over your wife!" Instead, he commands him twice to love his wife (verses 25,28). The command for the husband to love his wife is illustrated by the analogy of Christ’s love for the church, and by the way one loves his own body (verse 28), which is by nourishing and cherishing it (verse 29). In this verse, Paul emphasizes the self-giving, self-sacrificing character of the husband’s love for his wife: it is to be like the love Christ had and continues to have for the church. It is with this kind of love that the apostle of Christ commands the husband to exercise his headship over his wife in everything.

Verse 26

26. That He might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word,. Christ loved the church so much that He died for it, that is, He purchased it with His own blood (Acts 20:28). In doing so, "He became the author of eternal salvation to all who obey Him" (Hebrews 5:9). When we obey the gospel, which includes believing, repenting, confessing, and being baptized, we are added to the Lord’s church (Acts 2:47). In other words, when the penitent believer is baptized, he is baptized into Christ (Galatians 3:27), and into His death (Romans 6:3), where His blood was shed (John 19:34). How does one know this? "By the word," of course: "Since you have purified your souls in obeying the truth through the Spirit...having been born again, not of corruptible seed but incorruptible, through the word of God which lives and abides forever" (I Peter 1:22,23). This is consistent with Mark 16:15,16, which describes the process of salvation as being (1) a preaching of the gospel (or the word), (2) faith, (3) baptism, and (4) salvation. The "washing of water" clearly refers to baptism (cf. Hebrews 10:22; Titus 3:5), and the necessary conclusion one must make from this is that all the church (the sanctified and cleansed) had been baptized. Since Christ did all this for the church, husbands should be willing to do whatever is good and right for their wives.

Verse 27

27. That He might present it to Himself a glorious church, not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing, but that it should be holy and without blemish. The uniqueness of Christ’s redemptive work on behalf of the church cannot be precisely imitated by the husband, but Paul seems to be teaching that just as Christ works to present His church to Himself as a glorious bride in a glorious marriage, so should the husband work to make his wife glorious and their marriage magnificent. The husband’s love, like Christ’s, was to be beneficial to his wife, just as Christ’s love for the church is beneficial to it. Of this love, Chrysostom wrote: "Wouldst thou that thy wife should obey thee as the church obeys Christ? Do thou then care for her, as Christ for the church, even if thou must lay down thy life for her?-shirk not, shouldst thou suffer even this. Thou hast not yet matched all that which Christ hath done. For thou doest this after thou hast already won her, but he sacrificed himself for her that turned away from him and hated him; and when she was thus disposed, he brought her to his feet not by threats, or insults, or terror, or any such thing, but by this great solicitude. So do thou conduct thyself toward that wife of thine... Her that is the partner of thy life, the mother of thy children, the spring of thy joy, thou must not bind by terror and threats, but by love and gentleness."

Verse 28

28. So husbands ought to love their own wives as their own bodies; he who loves his wife loves himself. Seeing that Christ loved the church so much that he gave Himself up for it, men ought to also love their own wives as they do their own bodies. The love that Paul calls for here is agape-love that considers what is best for the one loved. Only when this kind of love is present can a husband love his wife as his own body. Generally speaking, we want what is best for our own physical bodies. When sick, we seek medical attention. When hot or cold, we seek comfort. When hungry, we obtain food. It is so natural to love ourselves that Christ used this as the standard by which we are to love our neighbor (Matthew 19:19). Paul wants the husband to become one with his wife to the extent that when he loves her, he love himself. Just as all of us who are thinking rationally seek the best for ourselves, the husband who truly loves his wife and is exercising the headship that God has ordained will seek the best for his wife.

Verse 29

29. For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as the Lord does the church. The church is spiritually nourished and cherished by the Lord to the point that nothing can destroy it, not even the gates of hades (Matthew 16:18). When this kind of love is present, all other problems can be solved by both husband and wife.

Verse 30

30. For we are members of His body, of His flesh and of His bones. Before Paul approaches the one flesh concept concerning a husband and wife, as taught in Genesis 2:24, he establishes the Christian’s relationship to Christ’s body, the church. The "we" refers to Christians and represents members of His body, flesh, and bones. This is a very close relationship to Christ and other members of the body. It serves as a figure of unity, cooperation, concern, and love. This figure is discussed in full detail in Romans 12 and I Corinthians 12. When Eve was presented to Adam after being made from his side, he said: "This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man" (Genesis 2:23). This same kind of unity and oneness is used to show the closeness of those in Christ’s church.

Verse 31

31. "For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh." After discussing the oneness of members of Christ’s body, Paul returns to the oneness of the husband and wife. At this point, he quotes Genesis 2:24, the first recorded law of marriage. There are three important demands mentioned in this verse for marriage: (1) The man will leave his father and mother, (2) he will be joined to his wife, and (3) together they will become one flesh. To leave his father and mother means he is to begin his own home. The man and woman who leaves father and mother still loves them and respects their faithful teaching, but they must leave to establish their own home. Happiness in marriage cannot be found when one runs back home every time there is a ripple on the sea of marital bliss. Mistakes will be made, but, as a general rule, these should be worked out by the couple as they grow deeper in their love for one another. To be joined to his wife means that they stay together. The Greek word means to "glue upon, glue to, or to join one’s self closely to." When two pieces of wood are well glued together, the wood will break before the glue-joint does. Likewise, in the marriage bond, the husband or wife should die before the marriage bond breaks. Becoming one flesh is more than the sexual act. The henosis-the making of two one-is brought about by the total commitment of two personalities, each to the other, in the closest relationship of the flesh, i.e., sexual intercourse. Nevertheless, sexual intercourse alone does not make the henosis. In case of rape and seduction, there is no mutual commitment. In cases of harlotry, the sexual intercourse which was designed by God to be experienced in marriage, as a part of the "one flesh" experience, does not establish an actual henosis, but simply a "one body" relationship (cf. I Corinthians 6:16). What a great concept from God! This is one of the blessings of His creation that man and woman are made that they can become "one flesh." But, how many married couples really believe this? For example, suppose we were to gather an audience of people and bring before them a healthy man. Then, we ask the audience, "Is it okay to cut this man’s arm off?" Or, "How do you feel about cutting this man’s body in half?" If they were to actually think we were serious, there would be a mob effort to prevent such a thing from happening. However, in the case of a married couple that has become "one flesh," they can be divided in our society today without much concern at all. In God’s sight, however, He sees a couple as ONE, just as surely as He sees the oneness of an individual body.

Verse 32

32. This is a great mystery, but I speak concerning Christ and the church. Unbeknown to the people of Moses’ day (i.e., "it was a `mystery’"), marriage was designed by God from the very beginning to be a picture or parable of the relationship between Christ and the church. Back when God was planning what marriage would be like, He planned it for this great purpose-it would give a beautiful earthly picture of the relationship that would someday exist between Christ and His church. And now, in the New Testament Age, the apostle Paul reveals this mystery, and it is simply amazing! This means that when Paul wanted to tell the Ephesians about marriage, he did not hunt around for a helpful analogy and suddenly discover that "Christ and the church" might be a good teaching illustration. No, it was much more fundamental than that. By inspiration, Paul understood that when God designed marriage, He already had Christ and the church in mind. This is one of God’s great purposes in marriage-to picture the relationship between Christ and His redeemed people forever! If this is so, then the order Paul is writing of here (submission and love) is not accidental or temporary or culturally determined. It is, instead, part of the essence of marriage, part of God’s original plan for a perfect, sinless, harmonious marriage. Therefore, here we have a very powerful argument for the fact that Christlike, loving headship and church-like, willing submission are rooted in creation and in God’s eternal purposes, not just in the passing trends of culture.

Verse 33

33. Nevertheless let each one of you in particular so love his own wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband. Notwithstanding the fact that the original marriage law was intended to show the relationship between Christ and His church, its application to human marriage remains unchanged. The husband MUST love his wife and the wife MUST be in subjection to her husband by respecting his God-given authority.

Note: The traditional family, as defined by secular society, has assumed the husband to be the superior ruler and the wife to be the inferior servant. This is far to the right of what God has ordained in His word. On the other hand, the feminist movement has swung the pendulum far to the left in denying the family structure and roles God has ordained. Let us, as Christians, strive to speak and act "as the oracles of God" (I Peter 4:11), and "not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of [our] mind[s], that [we] may prove [to a lost and dying world] what is that good and acceptable and perfect will of God" (Romans 12:2).