Now, Adonai, take my life. I'm no better than my ancestors (1 Kings 19:4).
The rabbis told stories about the ancient teacher Choni the Circle-Drawer, who was noted for his holy chutzpah (boldness). After a long period without rain, people begged Choni to secure rain for them, so Choni drew a circle and declared, "God, I am not stepping outside this circle until it rains." Immediately the rain began to pour, and the water rose until the people thought there would be a flood. "Choni, Choni, make the rain stop!" they cried. So Choni drew another circle and God stopped the rain.
The rabbis modeled Choni after Eliyahu (Elijah), another man of holy chutzpah who called down fire from heaven and announced rain even before a cloud had appeared in the sky. Eliyahu had acted at God's bidding (1 Kings 18:36).
But even Eliyahu struggled, doubting his mission. Like Moses (Exodus 17:4), Jeremiah (Jeremiah 20:14-18), and John the Immerser (Matthew 11:3-6), Eliyahu faced a crisis in his ministry; he had given his best and had seen great results, but wicked Queen Jezebel had only become more determined to destroy him. Eliyahu was a person just like us (James 5:17).
We may struggle at times with what God is calling us to do, but God will still use us. God used Eliyahu more powerfully after this incident than he did before it.
...remember that the prophets were people just like me, and God can use me the way God used them.
CK